Back in 2006, I thought I had met the person of my dreams. We were both very young, 16 and 17, and had fallen in love very quickly. Neither one of us had been in a relationship before, so everything was new and exciting; an adventure. We did everything together, and were together every possible minute.

A few months into the relationship, I noticed a very angry, jealous side to him that he hadn't show to me before. This put a damper on things for a while, but wasn't the be all end all.

Fast forward to 2008... He was in Aruba on a family trip for a week. Not one call, text, email, nothing the entire trip. While he was away I decided to plan a surprise for him when he got back. Me, being freshly 18 decided to get a tattoo... "Forever in my heart" in Arabic to symbolize how much I truly loved him. When he got home, he was less than impressed with the tattoo and was acting very strange.

We were in bed one night and he started crying and told me he had to tell me something. While he was in Aruba, he met another guy and spent most of his time there with him. They had fooled around a couple of times. My heart instantly broke, and it seemed that he was extremely upset over the whole situation.

We were never the same. He broke up with me that summer, a week after my birthday. We had a trip planned to Minnesota 2 weeks later that we did go through with. It was akward at first but things seemed back to normal. After coming home, we were on and off again friends, for the next few months. New years eve of 2008 he met Rob. Him and Rob were drawn together and dated for the entire year. In that year, me and my ex remained close, very close, and I was unfortunately the "other guy". I was the guy on the side. He cheated on Rob with me over and over again and I was too selfish to realize what I was doing to their relationship. Him and Rob eventually broke up because of me.

Fast forward to today... I am completely in love with him again. We are together all of the time, just as friends, although we maintain a very healthy sex life. He still talks and dates other guys, and every time it kills me inside. On this past new years eve, we went out and he got pretty drunk. He told me he knew that I was in love with him and that none of the other guys he's been with have ever compared to me. He kissed me at midnight and told me he loved me too. He told me he wanted to be together again, and even introduced me to some friends as his boyfriend.

The next day, he hardly remembered what happened. I told him everything he said and when I did he laughed in my face and said "Oh I would never say anything like that". To say the least I was very hurt. So the next day I called him and told him I was going out on a date with a guy that I met online, which by the way was far from the truth. I was at home watching a movie, alone. He called me a couple hours later frantic, asking where I was and telling me he was picking me up. I was confused, but I had gotten the reaction I had hoped for.

Now here is my question... WHAT DO I DO?? I talked about it with him and he just changes the subject. I know deep down that he loves me too, but why is he too stubborn/scared to show it? I don't understand. Do I force myself to stop talking to him altogether? Do I keep things the way they are but remain getting hurt? I know none of you can tell me exactly what to do, but some advice would really be appreciated.

It's always tempting to say 'oh please' when young people say they met the person of their dreams. You are still young, and although you are somewhat of an exception, the man you love isn't. He is still growing, changing, formulating views about the world and himself, and attractions will change too. Who knows if he keeps coming back because you are so steadfast, or because it's comfortable to be with the one you know, or because you are sort of the home base to go to between adventures with others, or if it's because he truly does love you but just isn't ready to settle down.
As for what people do when drunk? You really, really do have to drop any notion of how meaningful that was.
The next step? This is usually where people tell you to love it or leave it. There is no right or wrong here because he's not abusive. He's honest about what he does, even when far away. If he likes keeping his options open, you either alternate joy and pain, or you leave, and suffer lots of pain until you get over him. Your choice.
I'd force myself to leave, and force myself to develop interests outside of romance. After a year see if you feel free of your unrequited love or not. He might be there again, he might not, but you need to stop being the one left at home while he explores.

I find it truly amazing you have spent so much time accepting his behavior, and treating you like a pair of shoes he can wear when he wants and put you in a closet, and wear another pair when he feels like it.

I find it truly amazing you have spent so much time completely ignoring all the red flags for some crumbs of attention he choses to throw at you.

Sure you got a jealous reaction from him, because you are his pair of shoes, and no one else's, but what has changed? You are still back to being his willing pair of shoes to be worn at his discretion, when he wants. For sure its you that allow this behavior, instead of demanding more respectful treatment. This is not love at all, but dependence, and until you see that, you will continue to be abused, and put in the closet until he deems it appropriate to take you out, and wear you out.

And never believe what a drunk tells you, even if you have been waiting a long time to hear it. This is all about you accepting bad behavior, and that means you are stuck o someone that isn't stuck on you. You are his possession, so be happy when he wants you out of the closet, or leave. Your choice, so why waste any more time being hurt, and miserable.

I think you can do better if you wanted too. That's the problem, you want him so badly, you will humiliate yourself to keep him. Leave now, and get your dignity, and self respect back. You may end up happier if you do.