I thought id share my break up story with you, as I know a lot of people who visit this site are going through break ups and I know... it HURTS.

I was with my ex for 3 and a half years, he was the first guy I let myself get close too or trust. He was great at the start I treated him so good, he chased me, pursued me, wanted to 'show me off'. THEN, things started to change, he said that 'im am not right for him', but was determined to stay in my life as 'friends'. WRONG MOVE. Instead of cutting contact with him and enjoying life, I remained friends with him for a YEAR, yeap 1 whole year of disaster. I called it the love spell because when I was in his presence I felt weak and deeply in love and wanted to stick around in belief he would change.

Weirdo Ex
My ex was weird because he said he cared for me, would do anything for me, called me everyday, booked us a holiday (I did not go), invited me to family events, visited me at home and my family, took me places but yet still he wanted to be friends.. only. I told him that one day he will realise, and he said 'let me realise' and often made hints about 'what if I want you back'. It was a crazy game. Sadly I allowed it.

Begging
I tried everything from no contact to begging him, but nothing worked. Until 2 weeks ago I had enough, I realised that I have lost my pride, self respect and became someone who I wasn't. I was so depressed and did not know what to do with myself.

The only thing I hadn't done is stop trying, stop chasing him and give up completely. After he called me to have a nice conversation, I told him that the chase is over, I said to him that I have given up, I have no energy for him because I'm drained from him, emotionally tired.

After this I just stopped calling him, texting him. I don't know what got into me but I just stopped caring but at first it seemed impossible but its true the feeling slowly fades away.From speaking to him nearly everyday to just not calling.

After a few days he began to call me and shown more interest but I had had enough. I just kept it friendly and short. When I asked him if there was someone else he said no and gave me his phone to go through and Facebook, and even told me to ask his friends. But I could not be bothered to even look at his phone. He is a confused so and so...


Anyway, I'm confused because a month ago I felt madly in love with this guy but now I have stopped chasing him I don't know if it was actually love or just a bad habit. When I do not hear from him I feel happy.

He basically wants to 'realise' his feelings for me but I'm sorry I refuse to wait or play these mind games.

Would you say I'm moving on?

Has anyone else chased a love one to never be appreciated or receive anything in return?


Break Ups
I was working part time as a model before I met him and had so much confident but all of this went when he broke up with me, I felt like nothing. Break ups can make someone feel so empty and low, I was in a stage on confusion where I felt I could not cope without him. The best thing I did was pull away, maybe a year late but I did.


My heart goes to anyone who is going through a hard break up because I know how it feels, its true only time can heal. Im still not fully over him but feel a little better.

x

Yep, know what you mean. Been there done that, I actually let him keep me hooked for 1.5 years.

I finally wised up, and am very thankful that I didn't get stuck with this guy. Its funny how after you stop all contact, and move on, that you can look back with a smile, knowing that you are so better off without this loser.

I know and it feels good, I just hope I meet someone who I can trust again because I'm more harder trusting men! I guess the sayings true, don't realise what you had till its gone, he's too late and so last year :)

I know it will be hard when it comes to trusting, but remember its not fair to the next man in your life to pay for your ex's poor character. I try to keep in mind that I wouldn't someone to miss trust me due to to another woman in their past. I would be fighting something invisible that I would never be able to win.

I would say you had made a correct decision by cutting him off because no matter how I look at it this guy seems to try to keep you in his 'storage',he did treat you like some kind of food which he can store in refrigerator and take you out of refrigerator wheenevr he feels like he wants to eat you. Kind of glad you see through this, he is just toying with you, you deserve a better guy.There are a lot of guys out there who can give you love you deserve and treat you well

If you read your own original post, you will see that you have done the right thing, for all the right reasons. Stop beating yourself up!

You are human, you were drawn to this man like a moth to a flame, and eventually, you were burned enough times, that you decided it just wasn't something you wanted any longer. THAT is the most important part. Making that decision is the biggest step.

Why I'm impressed, is that you also realize the pattern, and you have broken it. It would have been exceptionally hard to resist, especially when you took the reins, and he turned around suddenly wanting you more than ever.

But, as you have found out, it was too little too late, and the history is what it is, and he is now a part of your past, instead of your present, and future. Good for you!!

You sound like a really smart cookie to me. I have known women involved in similar situations who married these men, thinking that would change them, or had a baby for the same reason. They don't change. You have dodged a bullet in not continuing with what surely would have become, and even more complicated relationship.

You are FREE! Think of this as the best thing you could have done, and you have taken charge, and are strong enough to forge a future under your own steam. You also take with you what you have learned, and can use that, as a basis to form what you DO want in a relationship. Don't settle, raise the bar, and higher standards for yourself, will result in higher standards for the next relationship.

Good for you. You're doing the right thing, for all the right reasons.