So my boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago, 15 days before our 4 month anniversary.
We were doing great and then suddenly when we got back to school from the weekend, he just stopped talking. He wouldn't say anything to anyone and he wouldn't say a word to me!
I didn't know what was wrong with him so I just left him alone because he doesn't like being talked to when he's upset. So then I got my friend to ask him if it was about me and he wrote back saying this:


" i just really dont know what to think anymore she says she wants to have a relationship where she can tell me anything but she'll barely even talk to me she tells all her friends things never me i found out she was going out with a girl while with me but that wouldnt really bother me is the only that she didnt tell me i had to find out and wondered how long she was doing this i just gave up i dont know how many secrets she has shes never going to tell me and i want to to at least talk to me but when i try to cheer her up or make her happy she doesnt talk or anything the most words i here come out of her mouth a day are not even up to 10 with me but when she talks to her friends its a whole lot so i really dont think she loves me like she says she does or she wouldnt have so many secrets against me, theres so many bad habits i got out of because i thought i really had something with her and i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her but now im getting back into the same habits, i stopped drinking smoking being so quiet and a crap loud of other things but now there all coming back i just dont know what to think anymore "


I never cheated on him EVER and just because one of my girlfriends came up to me and kissed me on the cheek he thought I was going out with her! I tried to explain to him that girls do that all the time but he didn't believe me and was convinced it meant more than that. And I did talk to him A lot. As much as I could. There were a couple times when we had problems talking but then we would start up something and then it was fine. And whenever we didn't talk, it was mostly because HE wouldn't talk! So for him to blame that on me is crazy! Well I am IN LOVE with him! I need to have him back! He won't talk to me but I haven't tried to go up and talk to him. So I need to know what to do to get him back!
Without him I just want to die!

I don't want to sound like an immature 21 year old college guy. But I'm an immature 21 year old college guy. What kind of guy objects to his girlfriend having relations (even if they're imaginary) with her girl friends! Seriously. Somebody, take my side with this one.

Aside from that it sounds like you're dating somebody that's obscenely ignorant to the facts. If he doesn't believe girls kiss each other on the cheeks casually, I'd bet you're his first girlfriend and he's looking to maintain an absolute hold, or none at all.

so my boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago, 15 days before our 4 month anniversary.

In other words 3 and half months.


we were doing great

You were doing great. He was not, nor can you ever speak for the other person.


and then suddenly when we got back to school from the weekend, he just stopped talking. he wouldnt say anything to anyone and he wouldnt say a word to me!
i didnt know what was wrong with him so i just left him alone because he doesnt like being talked to when he's upset. so then i got my friend to ask him if it was about me and he wrote back saying this:


" i just really dont know what to think anymore she says she wants to have a relationship where she can tell me anything but she'll barely even talk to me she tells all her friends things never me i found out she was going out with a girl while with me but that wouldnt really bother me is the only that she didnt tell me i had to find out and wondered how long she was doing this i just gave up i dont know how many secrets she has shes never going to tell me and i want to to at least talk to me but when i try to cheer her up or make her happy she doesnt talk or anything the most words i here come out of her mouth a day are not even up to 10 with me but when she talks to her friends its a whole lot so i really dont think she loves me like she says she does or she wouldnt have so many secrets against me, theres so many bad habits i got out of because i thought i really had something with her and i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her but now im getting back into the same habits, i stopped drinking smoking being so quiet and a crap loud of other things but now there all coming back i just dont know what to think anymore "

Sounds confusing. Sounds like an excuse, and quite frankly it sounds like he’s trying to lead your towards a 3 way. I say that because he says he’s not upset that you “cheated” on him with a woman, but he’s just upset that you didn’t tell him.


i never cheated on him EVER and just because one of my girlfriends came up to me and kissed me on the cheek he thought i was going out with her!

That can not be true. He may have used that as an excuse but he doesn’t really believe that.


i tried to explain to him that girls do that all the time but he didnt believe me and was convinced it meant more than that.

He knows girls do this all time. It’s an excuse. And a lame one at that. But he’s not mad you kissed her. He’s mad you didn’t tell him.


and i did talk to him ALOT. as much as i could. there were a couple times when we had problems talking but then we would start up something and then it was fine.

Oh so when he doesn’t talk to you, you “start up something.” So you’ve taught him that the more he gets upset the more your engine purrs. And now he’s not upset that you kissed a girl, he’s just upset he didn’t know. Hmmmm.


and whenever we didnt talk, it was mostly because HE wouldnt talk!

Until you “start up something” and then he would give you attention.


so for him to blame that on me is crazy!

Well, not crazy, but certainly not factual. Either way there is a reason he’s not talking and blaming you, and now questioning you about kissing a girl.


well i am IN LOVE with him!

No. No. No your not. After 3 and half months you are infatuated with him.


i need to have him back!

Why? So he can play this game with you?


he wont talk to me but i haven't tried to go up and talk to him. so i need to know what to do to get him back!

Good. Make him come to you. He’s expecting you to run back to him and “start up something.” You’ve taught him that is exactly what happens every time this occurs.


without him i just want to die!

No. No. No, you don’t. If that were true then you would need serious counseling because no person should make feel like he or she is more important than life. If that is the case then you need to get out because that person is not healthy to be around.

There may be some things you need to find out about this guy and 3 or 4 months is not long enough to know someone. He is either insecure,immature, or playing some type of game, so calm down and let him call you. Go on as if he doesn't exist. His actions and words make no sense to me at all. He may have problems you know nothing about, and cannot help him with. Let him stew in his own juice until he is ready to communicate. Could you be moving to fast for him? Possible.

OK I'm assuming you're about my age

Well... I hate to say this, but to you doubters, it is entirely possible she does love him, even though it hasn't been that long AT ALL. I know to someone who's married or whatever, 3 months and a bit is NOTHING, but to some young its a lot.

And well... he does sound like a bit of a loser... but if you want him back as much as you seem to, then there must be something about him worth having.

My advice is----if you want him back---ignore him, leave him alone for a while. Then see him in person-dont talk over the phone. Let him realize how much he's losing. If he doesn't want to make it work, then at least you will have started to get over him. It's a win/win situation really.