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oxymoronic
Jan 11, 2007, 06:14 PM
I really like him.
It's strange though.

I've known him for over seven years.
This past two weeks, however, we've gotten really close and we talk on the phone every night.
So anyway, we aren't dating, but we both are aware of each other's feelings.
I like him, he likes me... or so he says.

My question is, how do you really know if the person's feelings are genuine?
He's always saying things to me about other girls, past girlfriends, and what he's done with them.
Another thing he does is consistently degrade me. If I say something stupid, or random, he says some pretty hurtful things to me.
Another thing he does is ignore my texts and calls.
It's pretty hurtful really.
Another thing is, his girlfriend still thinks they're going out.
I'm not sure what to think about that one...

So anyway, I guess another question is, is he even worth it?

chuff
Jan 11, 2007, 09:04 PM
I really like him.
It's strange though.

It's not strange. You're just letting your emotions block common sense.


I've known him for over seven years.
This past two weeks, however, we've gotten really close and we talk on the phone every night.
So anyways, we aren't dating, but we both are aware of each other's feelings.
I like him, he likes me... or so he says.

You like him, he sees you as a play toy. What's sad is he's not even very good at it.


My question is, how do you really know if the person's feelings are genuine?

Well if they were genuine he would be
a. focused on you
b. caring
c. available
d. single

Let's see how he does with each of these factors.


He's always saying things to me about other girls, past girlfriends, and what he's done with them.

a. focused on you. Hmmm. Looks like he's failing here. What's funny is I bet he's bringing up all these past girls to make you think he's some kind of stud and set the groundwork for what he expects out of you. If he was smart this would be the last route he would take, but I don't think he is.


Another thing he does is consistently degrade me.
If I say something stupid, or random, he says some pretty hurtful things to me.

b. caring. Looks like he failed again. What's worse is that as bad as he treats you now this will only get worse. If he's calling you names and degrading you now, what's going to happen if you allow him to become even closer. This guy is an abuser.


Another thing he does is ignore my texts and calls.
It's pretty hurtful really.

c. available. It sounds like he has other priorities in life and normally I would advise against being available all the time but in this case he's out being a player. He doesn't answer you because you are not a priority. He's also probably out with his girlfriend.


Another thing is, his girlfriend still thinks they're going out.
I'm not sure what to think about that one...

Yeah that girlfriend. Which leads us to...

d. single. He's not. She thinks there still going out because he tells her that.


So anyways, I guess another question is, is he even worth it?


Not in this lifetime.

oxymoronic
Jan 11, 2007, 11:10 PM
Ha ha.
Thank you for helping me step by step.
The problem is, I still like him.

chuff
Jan 11, 2007, 11:48 PM
Ha ha.
Thank you for helping me step by step.
The problem is, I still like him.

Look if your going to date the reality is your going to probably get hurt. I dated a woman for 2 and half years and I got dumped. Just out of the blue, I didn't see it coming. I did not enjoy getting dumped or rather I didn't enjoy the pain I was experiencing because I still loved her. But after time I was able to move forward with my life and you will too. I've got to think that there is a variety of guys who would like to spend time with you so why limit it to this one that isn't treating you very well? If you had a daughter would you suggest she date someone that treats her like this? You and I both know you wouldn't so why put yourself through this?

Andyburnstein
Jan 12, 2007, 12:03 AM
If he's insulting you... why would you like him? This only shows what will come in the future if anything was to happen with him. Don't date him