First off Hi. Second this is my first time doing this so please bear with me...

Ok well my girlfriend is the best girlfriend I could ever ask for but lately we have bean having small issues such as her wanting me to sneek over at night to cuddle with me but after I say I can't because I'm afraid and pluse its snowing or there's snow outeside my windo she accuses me of not loveing her or not caring for her and I trie telling her that there's more then just sneeking over to prove u love someone... but because of this topic fight between us breakeout and it kills me inside knowing that jjust by doing this it would make her happy but at the same time I'm afraide that my paronts or her paronts will catch us... I lover her so much that I've cried myself asleep because I was afraid that she was going to leave me... yes I know what they call that(being too clingy) but she tells me every day that she loves me and I know she does but its hard trying to not open your mouth when someone is pointing out your flaws without u pointing out there's just so u won't make the situation worse but I feel like I'm going to onday explode and lose her for the rest of my life and it bothers me when she tells me that the guy is suppose to do everything first and I try telling her that in a relationship both male and femail have equal responsability( spelling is bad I know but I'm also tired so give me a breake ***) and that the male needs some help from the femail but she tells me that the guy is suppose to know everything and do things with out help... and she also has trust issues because she has ben cheeted on before with all of her exs and there was a time when I didn't relize that my friendly talking with oter girls was flirt because I'm an idiot when it comes to flirting I didn't know how to if u will but I guess I did with out mentaly knowing.
we have bean dateing for 2 years and I made up my minde that I wanted to engage to her but with all this stuff happening of accuseing me of not loveing her or cheeting on her she always teling me every time we fight that I am hurting her and that I'm making her stress and her hart is in pain because of my "bull crap" but what I'm afraid to tell her is that she does that same to me so what should I do? I mean I'm 17 and she's turning 18 next month and we r still in high school(graduating in June 2011 {=^]) but I don't know what to do because I know if we where to breake up we both would be devistated and not want to live but I also can't hold the pressure of her calling me the bad guy on something's that I didn't evan do or have power over because I respect her paronts authority and I listen to them and yes I did ask her dad if I could engage to her and he didn't say no but he didn't say yeas either it was more of not in high school so what should I do??

You sound mature for 17, so that will help you throughout life. Except for even remotely thinking about getting engaged while you are still in high school and living at home.

Anyone who expected me to get out of bed on a cold winter's night to 'prove' anything that silly would get hung up on by me. She's being petty and insecure. Tell her that love is about support, caring, understanding, tenderness and respect, not about jumping through hoops or passing tests. Instead of reacting to her every whim, take some initiative and tell her how YOU are going to act and be and think, like an adult, and she needs to accept you or not as you are.

(That's easy for me to say now... I wish I knew that and knew how to do it when I was your age.)

You're right, since you both live under your parent's roof, you have to respect that and not be sneaking into each other's rooms.

It's just not fun to be under constant stress because you're being accused of anything, so you really just need to be open and honest with her and tell her how you feel. I know you fear losing her, but a relationship that is meant to last, thrives on open, honest communication.

In my book, you're a little young to even consider engagement. Why not concentrate on your studies and go on to college afterward to make sure that she's truly "the one" before asking her?

As a teenager as well, I feel your pain. My best friend is in a relationship like that.
One thing you really have to think about is if all the pain you're put through is worth it? Can you see yourself happily living with her for the rest of your lives? Or would it all just be a constant fight and a trial of proving whether you love her or not?
She is most likely so demanding from being hurt and not wanting to be hurt again, but there is a certain extent to how much is acceptable, and causing you that much pain is unacceptable. It sounds as though the relationship is beginning to turn toxic for you. Is your health worth it?
Also, way too young for engagement. Wait until you're at least twenty, you'll have a much better understanding of the world and how relationships work once you seem some of the real world in college.
Sorry if I'm overly blunt, I mean all of this in the nicest way possible. Good luck!

First she is asking you to both disrespect your parents and her parents, I would assume she wants you to sneak in her house, not merely ring the door bell.

So no she is not the best girlfriend, in case she is far from it,