My Boyfirend and I have been together nearly two years, and lived together around 16 months(yes we moved in quite quickly!).. I absolutley adore him. I love him

We have had many problems and we always seem to come back together, never split up just argue and argue. But I have always had faith that once the stress factors have been removed then we will be OK and happy as we both love each other. I've always had faith in us, we were good together other than his moods which are hard to deal with.

I tell him I love hi, every day, I compliment him all the time but yet he says I always put him down. I don't understand why he does not see what I do for him? I cook, the house is spotless, I bake, I massge, I run baths, I let him watch what HE wants and get his own way in terms of what he wants to do, I pick all of his clothes up off the floor and wash them, leave little notes around for him and nice texts. I do do a lot, definatley a lot more than he does for me (although he's great money wise.. as in, I pay the house bills he pays for the car the credit cards etc... but he has the greater wage)

We both want similar things in life, mortgage, career, children further down the line etc, we have similar habits and interests and most importantly morals. Over the 2 years we have kind of blended together, we still maintain our own social life and independence but we have a good group of joint friends also which is good as we enjoy going out together too.

He has weird moods. It's like two extremes, one minute he's over the moon, energetic, talking 100 miles per hour loves himself(in a good way).. then the next he's rock bottom, depressed, obsessive, miserable.. The smallest thing will make him swith to this horrible negative person which is/was hard to cope with and doesn't help us when it comes to points we need to talk about, regardless how small it ends in a full scale row because of his inability to talk normally? Now I believe this is the problem, and it's an hard subject to approach, it's quite sensitive, his moods are not normal, there really hard to cope with whoch in turn makes me grumpy and it spirals. The smallest thing will be a massive thing to him (say for example I am in the middle of something and he asks me to do something else ill say ill do it after this- he'll go beserk!) He'll stomp, and yell, hit walls, slam doors, throw things, smash things all over very trivial things. Then once he's gone away for 10 minutes or whatever he'll act like nothing has happened and be fine again, and his mood will have completely change??

Anyway I suppose none of that really matters, well it does as I don't understand him no matter how I have tried.
He has broke up with me, and now I have no idea what to do. We are just about on civil terms, once he calmed down from our argument and cleared the glass he smashed he decided he wants to be civil.

I highly suggest you rethink the prospect of being with a partner with such sudden explosive violent behavior, especially if you intend to introduce children into this. This is both dangerous and very scary, not to mention destructive, and you should leave and gain a safe distance and tell him to get help as this kind of behavior is totally unacceptable, and no way will you live like this.

Now you can cry, and be confused and half step, but you will pay the consequences of allowing this bad behavior. You, or your future child, home, or any walls or windows you may have.

Nothing that you do, will ever be enough to stop or change a person who has violent mood swings. If you are thinking that the harder you try (and keep trying) the less likely he is to turn violent, you are mistaken.

He isn't going from happy to sad, back to happy. He's going from a manic high to the extreme end of anger, which is the violence.

With what you have described, I would say that he needs to have a good talk to his Doctor, and a referral is needed for a mental health evaluation. He is out of control. Until this is addressed, you will constantly be on edge, wondering when the next swing will happen.

You cannot change his behaviour, and he cannot change his behaviour, or he would have by now. As long as he is out of control, you are in danger yourself. While you think he may not hurt you, it is very possible that he will. At the very least, you are putting yourself in the line of fire, and as I said, nothing you can do can stop a steaming train.

Perhaps if you are seriously considering staying with this man, one of the conditions will be that he have an assessment, and at the very least, anger management counselling. To let this go, knowing it will only happen again without some sort of medical intervention, is not a good place for anybody to be.

Either you man is bipolar or he has too much stress... and you clean the house?. that's pretty sweet I wish my woman did that. I think you should consider counseling.