My fiancée and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. It was all great up until about 2 months ago when I started waitressing at a strip club. Right when I started our sex life practically went out the window. He recently told me about his feelings towards me working there so I quit, but our sex life is still non-existent. Only when I show interest will he reciprocate(and 3/4 of those times he'l go soft half way through. Which was never ever a problem before.) and not even always then. I wasn't worried until I got turned down one night and about an hour later he gets up out of bed, (thinking I'm asleep) grabbed some porn, and went to the living room.

We'd always had a very experimental, open, and "spicy" love life. I've already tried talking to him, he insists that he's just tired. I've tried surprising him with different fantasies, even some of his favorites.

I'm a fairly attractive girl of 23 years old. He insists that it's not me, and that he still finds me perfectly sexy but something is wrong. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with my former job but I need to do something about this before it gets worse.

It sounds like he got a mental block when you started working at the club. It really sounds like he was so mentally put off by you working in a place that caters to mens sexual fantasies.

So just to be complete, exhaustion is a valid excuse. If we are dead tired sex is something that would be far from our minds. I know this personally. Other things to look for:
1). Stress. How is the money situation now that you're not working?
2). Timing. Try different times of the day.
3). Medical issues. Is he healthy, does he have any medical problems?
4). Substance abuse. Does he drink, smoke, use drugs?


I think that, while you have talked all about this, I don't think you have gotten to the root of the problem. I do think he is still hung up on your former job. I am really not sure how to remedy that because it is his mental block that is the problem.

I agree with craven. Possibly see a sex therepist if he is open to it? See if you can unblock him?

I think he might be ticked off about something that he hasn't gotten past yet as well as the other possibilities that were previously mentioned.

And it might very well be the stip-club gig. But it might be something else you aren't aware of.