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View Full Version : Need some advice regarding my son.


knicole89
Dec 22, 2010, 11:43 AM
I have a 3 year old son. I took care of him all except the last year. When my sons father and I split up, I was unstable and had no income so I signed over custody to my sons father thinking it was in my sons best interest. Not too long after, my sons father had got laid off from work and was in the same boat, no income, and unstable. So he took our son to his mothers until he found a new job and a place. She then wanted guardianship so my sons father had signed the papers as I had to appear in court and she was granted guardianship. I was told to have supervised visits and pay $120.00 for two hours a week, in which I did not have. His mother does not like me and does not want my son to see me at all. She now has him calling her mommy. It took me awhile to sign up for my visits due to me not having the money to do it. Once I did get the money I went to the place and made up a schedule with them and they sent that schedule to her. When that first day came around, she had called in to the place and said that it was too short of notice and that she would not be bringing him. She then had went to her lawyer and they filed to suspend my visits until a hearing. Months ago my sons father and I got back together, but his mother does not know that, for the simple fact that she wouldn't let him see our son if she knew. She has been wanting to move out of state with our son, but knows that she can't do that with just having guardianship, unless we both consented. So she has now filed to adopt our son. There isn't a court date for that yet but we have both received papers saying we have 30 days to file a motion to contest the adoption. We have went around and talked to some lawyers but they are wanting $2,500 just to get started. In which we do not have. What I am really wanting to know is do we stand a chance of getting our son back? I am currently trying to get my ged and looking for a job and He has a job and we are about to be moving into an apartment together and are talking about getting married. Can anyone please help me out with some advice on what to do or things we could do to help us out in court?

dontknownuthin
Dec 22, 2010, 12:17 PM
You have to get an attorney. Call your state or county bar association (professional association of lawyers) and ask them to refer you to services that provide free or sliding scale service. You should have gotten a lawyer before you set up these guardianships but as you haven't it's imperative that you do now to straighten this mess out.

excon
Dec 22, 2010, 05:31 PM
What i am really wanting to know is do we stand a chance of getting our son back? I am currently trying to get my ged and looking for a job and He has a job and we are about to be moving into an apartment together and are talking about getting married. Can anyone please help me out with some advice on what to do or things we could do to help us out in court?Hello k:

You're to be commended for TRYING to get your life together. But, until you DO, the court isn't going to award you custody.. You shouldn't lose your kids to adoption, though. Even if you don't get a lawyer, show up in court to contest the adoption. You've got a good chance of stopping it, and the court SHOULD give you time to get your life together...

excon

ScottGem
Dec 22, 2010, 05:53 PM
First, you apparently misunderstood something. There is NO way you had to pay for visits. You may have been hit with a child support payment, but that has NOTHING to do with visitation. If the court ordered visitation, then she had to allow it, even if you weren't paying your support payments.

You need to file the motion to object to the adoption. Try finding a local law school to have you prepare the motion. But it can be as simple as:

To Whom It May Concern,

In the case of <insert case information, docket, etc.> I, <insert name> do object to the adoption of <insert son's name> by <insert grandmother's name>.

I will be present at the hearing scheduled <insert date> to assert my parental rights.


Both you and the father should submit such statements to the court. When the hearing is held, you explain to the judge, that you allowed the grandmother to have temporary custody of your son, because you were unable to provide a stable home for him. Tell him you are currently working towards providing such a home. Tell him you feel the grandmother is trying to alienate the child against you and has not allowed you the visitation the court ordered.

cdad
Dec 22, 2010, 07:14 PM
First, you apparently misunderstood something. There is NO way you had to pay for visits.

I have to disagree here. In many court systems if there is a third party that is state approved and visitation is taking place there then yes there may be a payment to do so. But not at that level. It might be $20 or $40 dollars for 2 hour visits but not $120.

ScottGem
Dec 23, 2010, 04:29 AM
I have to disagree here. In many court systems if there is a third party that is state approved and visitation is taking place there then yes there may be a payment to do so. But not at that level. It might be $20 or $40 dollars for 2 hour visits but not $120.

Ahh, I see, it's the payment for a supervisor for the visit. I wasn't thinking of that. We'll just have to wait for the OP to come back and clarify.

adthern
Dec 23, 2010, 06:23 AM
I was going to point out the third party payment as noted above. That said, there appears to be more to the story, bio parents are not typically subjected to supervised visits without cause.

You absolutely need an attorney, if you don't have one by the time you get to court ask if the court will appoint one. When the state takes away a fundamental right, they must provide counsel though it isn't free a small fee based on income is assessed 150-500$ here. Another possible route is child protection services...

Last, and this will depend on the sanity and agreeability of his mom, if you two are together, get married. Then make it clear to her if she stands in your way, she will never see the kid again. I know that's harsh, but that's essentially the powerplay she is using on you, and I suspect out of fear of being cut out of the child's life... though she could just be a manipulative, hateful person.

knicole89
Dec 24, 2010, 11:16 PM
OK well I have been there and I live in a small town and it is now $60 an hour and min of two hours a week... and they suspended my visits until the hearing on that case in January

OK listen everyone... I promise you in my town it is $60 an hour I'm sorry to say but its true! My brother has done it as well.. so

Thanks for the advice, But I wasn't ordered to pay support but I was ordered supervised visitations with familt serives.. I like in a small town it does cost unless its through cps and they only do visits if you have case with them

{comments merged}

knicole89
Dec 24, 2010, 11:30 PM
Thanks..

ScottGem
Dec 25, 2010, 06:55 AM
First, please don't use the Comments feature for followups. Use the Answer options instead.

Yes, I understand now that you were ordered to pay a fee for a supervisor for the visits. But that begs the question of why you needed supervised visits in the first place. You really need to prove you and the father are capable parents and file for a return of custody.

GV70
Dec 25, 2010, 12:20 PM
in my town it is $60 an hour im sorry to say but its true!!


Believe it or not, in some cases in Pa it is $150 an hour;)