My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years and I don't get along so well with his family I try very hard but it seems they just don't like me no matter what. So I agreed to my boyfriend I would spend xmas dinner with his family this year but then they started throughing fits over absolutely nothing he works a lot on a night shift so he doesn't have much time to be running over to see his mom. She thinks its me keeping him away even though he told her it wasn't. Anyway after her last freak out I told him I'm sorry I can't do it I can't destroy my xmas so that your mom and sister can ragg on me since we all no that's what they will do and he agreed no problem your right lets just have one you and me and be happy on xmas for once. But then he messages a friend and tells him about the fight and his friend says man you better get rid of her before she ruin everything for you and all he said was my family sucks to get along with. Not no she had a right to feel that way not well things are tough right now well work through it almost as though he agrees with his friend. That breaks my heart I have worked so hard for him when we first got together he lost his job and when he did find one it paid him 400 a month if he was lucky I supported us and ran the house at the same time on part time work I have no friends anymore I had no time for them and my family feels neglected too.And we have talked about marriage and kids and during the talks he likes the idea but if its ever brought up outside our conversation he repels against the idea I don't get it. Now he has a great job and he it seems the longer he is there the more he pushes me away first he starts flirting with ex gfs and lying to me about it and hiding it and now this? Am I over reacting or is this relationship really about to crash over me saying I wanted a happy xmas?

I don't think this is about Christmas as much as it is about your general relationship.

You need to sit down with him and have a serious discussion about what is is going on between you and what the expectations for your relationship are. That he is 'pushing you away' and 'flirting with ex-girlfriends' is a major red flag that has nothing to do with the Holidays. The lying and hiding the flirting is another and even larger red flag.

I think you need to rebuild your contacts with friends and family. It will help you be a stronger and healthier person to have other emotional support than just him.

Since he's flirting and pushing you away, it tells me there's a whole lot more going on than you words have indicated.

You two need to have a serious conversation about your relationship. This doesn't sound like a fellow or family that you should want to marry into.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Cat1864 again.



This is not about Christmas. You guys have relationship issues. You need to have a long talk.

Quote by Cat,
I think you need to rebuild your contacts with friends and family. It will help you be a stronger and healthier person to have other emotional support than just him.

I think you are over reacting because you are under communicating. I would expect more after 4 years together.