Hi there.

Im sure this question has already been asked a thousand times but Im in desperate need for help. Im in a relationship where the girl loves me very much but I no longer feel the same for her. Id be straight up and honest about it and end it as soon as possible if this was a normal girl but she's different. According to what she says, she loves me really bad and I mean the world to her, her life wouldn't make sense without me and most importantly, we had only one big discussion the whole time we have dated and she swore that she was about to cut herself for feeling bad, so imagine what she would do if I simply told her what I actually feel.
So how am I to cope with this? I really need to end this relationship as I feel that Im using her right now and I don't want to be in a one sided relationship, plus I know that the longer I keep this, the more it will hurt, but what am I supposed to do?

Thanks in advance.

Certainly sounds as if your girlfriend is a little unstable. Sometimes these can be idle threats. Are there other clues that you have picked up in her behaviour that would prove she would actually go through with hurting herself?

If you believe she will, you can talk it over with her friends and let them know your concerns... tell them she needs someone around her for a while. Then break up and let her be.

The later you leave this the worse it will get so, better done sooner than later... better for you and better for her.

You can't be responsible for another person's happiness or safety. Unless you're willing to resign yourself to a life of ensuring this girl's happiness, let her know now. She'll have to make her own choice in the matter.

Don't let her blackmail you with her threats. She is unstable. Break up with her ASAP. Tell her parents of her threats if you need to. And watch your back, as you may not be aware of how unstable she is.

Im aware that she is unstable but what should I do about it? And yes, she told me that in the past she already cut herself in the legs because of some other boy...

I know that I should break up with her asap but how? Shall I just go and say "I no longer have feelings for you, bye"?

"Sorry but I no longer feel the same about you. Its not you, its me, and I have to find myself, and get my act together, but I am so sorry for having to hurt you, but its for the best in the long run. I hope you can forgive me for being such a dumba$$ like this, but I wish you nothing but the best, Good bye, and please be happy without me, and my problems!!!"

If she threatens to hurt herself, "Please don't do that, and destroy the lovely image of you I will always think of with fondness."

Be nice, but firm, and determined. Don't waiver, or back track, or make promises you can't keep!

I would take what Ironhide said, only a little further.

Make a plan to tell her, only have someone present, her sister, her best friend, her mother. In a non-confrontational kind of way, simply but gently tell her that the relationship has come to an end, and you are leaving.

If you are living with her, or she is living with you, that makes things a little more complicated, but ensure that if it is you that is leaving, take what you can, immediately, and have a place to go. Arrange to come back with a friend to collect your belongings. If you share a credit cards or bank accounts together, cancel the cards and close the accounts.

If she has a history of being unstable, and she is totally reliant upon you, and you fear that she could hurt herself, or you, or destroy property, or if she has a history of violence, then speak to your local police about an escort.

You can't continue to be held hostage out of fear. All you can do is prepare yourself, and prepare your departure, with as much planning as you can. Enlist the help of people who know her, and that are willing to ensure that she is okay when this all goes down.

To stay in this relationship is to presume that she doesn't realize that you are unhappy, and that a breakup is possible. She may very well be well aware of your feelings, and using your feelings to blackmail you into staying. Either way, it is time to come up with a plan, and get out.