I recently found my father after 37 years. Through conversation he stated he paid child support for my childhood to the State of California. He tried to use this as a means to find me but wasn't disclosed any information. My mother told me that she never received any child support payments from him or the State. I am 37 years old, and don't feel either one has a reason to be untruthful. If the money was paid and never received, where did it go? Am I entitled to this money, being that it was my child support money. I contacted the State of California, they offered no help or support. I am just curious to how this works. If the money is there, it should be dispersed to someone, Myself, My Mother, or My Biological Father. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank You

Your mother was entitled to that money, and it should have gone to her... not you. It was to offset the costs of raising you... not line your pockets with spending money.

If he paid it to the state of California... he will have proof of it. Why they didn't pay it to her is anyone's guess. But 19 years after you reached the age of majority... any chance of doing anything is likely remote. But the state would owe that to her with interest if they failed to pay it out after collecting it.

I recently found my father after 37 years. Through conversation he stated he paid child support for my childhood to the State of California. He tried to use this as a means to find me but wasnt disclosed any information. My mother told me that she never received any child support payments from him or the State. I am 37 years old, and don't feel either one has a reason to be untruthful. If the money was paid and never received, where did it go? Am I entitled to this money, being that it was my child support money. I contacted the State of California, they offered no help or support. I am just curious to how this works. If the money is there, it should be dispersed to someone, Myself, My Mother, or My Biological Father. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank You

Based on the age you've given us, your father would have been paying support up until approximately 1991. One of two things happened:
1. Your father paid the money and your mother is lying
2. Your father never paid anything and is lying
Have you checked with the courts to see if there is an old court case regarding this? I don't suppose your father has any proof that he made these payments.

As smoothy already noted, this money was not for you - it was for your mother, who raised you as a single parent.

Out of curiosity, why were you not in contact with your father until now? Did he leave or did your mother avoid him?

Sorry This I can't give you a greenie but I totally agree with your post 100%.

I'm thinking that the OP needs to go to the Courthouse and look up the original divorce paperwork and see just what was Court ordered as far as child support goes. Possibly the Court DID order support and good old Dad just skipped out and stayed skipped out for all those years and now that you've miraculously "found" him he's singing a totally different tune. I'd tend to believe Mom on this that she never got a dime from him.

Why would California hang onto someone's child support? Not very likely as Mom would have been down to their offices in a heartbeat to collect it or call them up and ask where it was.

I'm thinking Dad is the skunk here.

Sorry This I can't give you a greenie but I totally agree with your post 100%.

I'm thinking that the OP needs to go to the Courthouse and look up the original divorce paperwork and see just what was Court ordered as far as child support goes. Quite possibly the Court DID order support and good old Dad just skipped out and stayed skipped out for all those years and now that you've miraculously "found" him he's singing a totally different tune. I'd tend to believe Mom on this that she never got a dime from him.

Why would California hang onto someone's child support? Not very likely as Mom would have been down to their offices in a heartbeat to collect it or call them up and ask where it was.

I'm thinking Dad is the skunk here.

My thoughts were swinging the other way - Dad was paying, Mom was bashing him and collecting support.

Either way, it might take a little digging but the truth is out there. And once the OP finds it, there's going to be a damaged relationship.

Whoa, I don't hear OP wanting to line his or her pockets at all. Just fairness.
I don't see how we can speculate about either parent or the state (workers make mistakes and commit fraud too).
You don't say how long he claims to have paid support... that would be a key question for me.
I think you will hit some brick walls of archived boxes of paper in storage facilities that you can't get into just for personal reasons.

Well, the mother is the only one entitled to that money...

IF the father did in fact pay... and the State did in fact pass it on... then the mother is lying. If the father paid and she is honest about getting nothing then the state screwed up bigtime.

In any case One of the three parties didn't live up to their end or isn't telling the truth... and we have no way of knowing which one. For all anyone knows everyone did their part, the mother did get paid... and just out of deep hatred for the father lied about getting any money. Like that doesn't actually happen every day across the world.

Lacking proof from all sides as to who actually did what... all we have are guesses and accusations.

Being the OP was the child in question its unlikely they would have had direct knowledge of everything. Only what the mother wanted them to hear. And that's not always the entire unadulterated truth. It is always subject to the whim and predjustice of the person passing it on.

I have no doubt the OP believes what they were told... but was what they were told the complete and entire truth?

All right. Time to refocus this thread. I hate to disagree here but the scenerios listed by thi8384
Aren't the only 2 out there to explain this. Id like to believe that both parents are telling the truth. And the next step is to get to the bottom of things.

If the mother was on State Aid then she wouldn't see any child support unless it was over and above the aid given. So if dad paid it out and the state intercepted it for its own then they both are telling the truth. It happens every day. That is why its mandatory for persons with child that go on aid to find the NCP for payment of child support. But they won't see it so long as they are receiving aid from the state.

So my question is. Did mom receive any state aid like food stamps, welfare or medical from the state?

Alright. Time to refocus this thread. I hate to disagree here but the scenerios listed by thi8384
aren't the only 2 out there to explain this. Id like to believe that both parents are telling the truth. And the next step is to get to the bottom of things.

If the mother was on State Aid then she wouldnt see any child support unless it was over and above the aid given. So if dad paid it out and the state intercepted it for its own then they both are telling the truth. It happens every day. That is why its mandatory for persons with child that go on aid to find the NCP for payment of child support. But they wont see it so long as they are recieving aid from the state.

So my question is. Did mom recieve any state aid like food stamps, welfare or medical from the state?

California deducts money from child support to "reimburse" themselves for state assistance? Wow... that is shocking. Here, the custodial parent can collect state aid AND child support; no deductions are made. If the CP is on assistance, the state will go after the NCP for the CP, regardless of if they request the support or not.

If that's how Cali works, my apologies to the OP. I didn't realize that's how they operated and if that is indeed the scenario, it's no wonder both parents are claiming the other is at fault.

Although... if the father truly was paying support that means the state would have known where the father was, which means the mother knew where the father was. Yet the OP never knew their father. Sound a little strange?

Whoa, I don't hear OP wanting to line his or her pockets at all. Just fairness.
I don't see how we can speculate about either parent or the state (workers make mistakes and commit fraud too).
You don't say how long he claims to have paid support... that would be a key question for me.
I think you will hit some brick walls of archived boxes of paper in storage facilities that you can't get into just for personal reasons.

The OP isn't entitled to anything. Child support is for the custodial parent, not spending money for the kid(s).

How long he paid support isn't a key question. He has to pay support when a court order is entered stating he is required to pay support.

California deducts money from child support to "reimburse" themselves for state assistance? Wow...that is shocking. Here, the custodial parent can collect state aid AND child support; no deductions are made. If the CP is on assistance, the state will go after the NCP for the CP, regardless of if they request the support or not.

If that's how Cali works, my apologies to the OP. I didn't realize that's how they operated and if that is indeed the scenario, it's no wonder both parents are claiming the other is at fault.

Although....if the father truly was paying support that means the state would have known where the father was, which means the mother knew where the father was. Yet the OP never knew their father. Sound a little strange?



Its not just California that does it. Your state does it too.

Questions asked by the parent who pays support about aid/benefit programs (http://dcf.wisconsin.gov/bcs/aid_payer_faq.htm)


And its not unusual if the parents aren't talking that they could lose contact with each other ad the state still know the location of both parties as the state has no obligation to tell the mother where the other parent is. Just like if the NCP called up they wouldn't just give out the custodial parents address either.


It works both ways.


Amended after post: Quote from site given,


The other parent was on AFDC years ago. My child support payments include paying on past-due support. Why is my family not getting all the support that I pay?
Unlike the W-2 program, all "AFDC assigned support" is used to repay the AFDC benefits your family received.

The amount of "AFDC assigned support" you owe is the total amount of child support due but not paid while your child was on an AFDC grant. If the other parent and children received AFDC in the past, support you still owe during that time will be used to repay AFDC costs.