View Full Version : Depressed, Angry Boyfriend
needhelp12384
Dec 14, 2010, 10:54 PM
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and at first everything was great. After about six months I started drifiting from my friends and family because he would always want to hang out and guilt me into it. Now I hardly have any of my friends, I am never home so I hardly see my family and I am not allowed to talk to almost all of the friends I did have. He also won't let me talk to any boys and every time I add a boy on fb or they comment on something he flips out and asks tons of questions about them. I always keep my cell phone off when we are together because I am scared someone will text me that he doesn't like. We are always fighting and he always breaks up with me but then a couple hours later tries to get me back and I feel guilty so I do it. Whenever we are together he always wants to do things and touches me and I don't like it and have to scream at him to get him to stop. He is almost always in a bad mood saying he hates his life and wants to die. He has told me before when we were broken up that if I didn't take him back he was going to kill himself. I don't know what to do, I wish things were like they were when we first started dating and if they aren't then I don't want to be with him but I am scared of what he might do if I leave him. And sometimes he can be so nice to be but most of the time it's all anger. I just know that I am sick of hiding text messages and stuff from him even though I am not cheating on him I am just talking to my old friends that he doesn't want me to talk to. I really feel trapped because I am barely over 18 and don't want to live like this forever and end up with no friends. Any advice would be very much appreciated, thanks!
sadkid7
Dec 14, 2010, 11:03 PM
Brake up with him before things are to late. I know what I am telling you I had the same problem with my ex girl friend and she ended up cheating on me now I have no friends I am always sad because in the end I thought it will be me and her forever but it did not end up like that. Do this because is the future you will regret it. Having friends and family is so important because they could help you throw the hard times that will come once you brake it off but you will be happy that you still have them... takes this from a guy that gave it all to his ex and ended up with nothing
mmresd
Dec 14, 2010, 11:14 PM
You have to break up with him. This relationship has passed several negative boundaries and is extremely unhealthy. Why is it that you are feeling as if you have to help this guy out when he doesn't even love you? You do not put someone you love between a sword and a hard place so that they control your every move. This guy is extremely controlling and extremely insecure. Therefore, his fears of losing you and what you might do to betray him pin him down to the point that he doesn't know what to do other than to manipulate you with mind tricks and guilt trips so that you have no real choices about the choices you make. Also, you cannot hold yourself accountable by whatever he might do to himself because of you breaking up with him, you are a human being and that alone gives you the right to choose who to be and who not to be with. So stand up for yourself, give yourself the respect you deserve and go find someone that values you, not someone that is treating you like a caged animal without the ability to take a break without asking for permission first. He doesn't ALLOW you, if he doesn't like something, tough, he always has the option of leaving... AND SO DO YOU!! This things can get worse, much worse, I have been in this position in the past, you need to take control of your life again. The sooner the better.
Good Luck,
Javi
J_9
Dec 14, 2010, 11:33 PM
This relationship is the beginning of a very abusive relationship.
The first things abusers do is isolate you from family and friends. Next comes the jealousy and control issues.
If he hasn't hit you yet, he probably will.
It's time to get out of this abusive relationship before you get physically hurt.
CarrotTalker
Dec 14, 2010, 11:52 PM
"He is almost always in a bad mood saying he hates his life and wants to die. He has told me before when we were broken up that if I didn't take him back he was going to kill himself."
I had an ex like that, it's a form of manipulation to get you to stay with him. Don't buy it. Tell him if he is serious about suicide to seek counseling to help him work through that, but you don't want to be a part of his life anymore.
gara
Dec 15, 2010, 02:22 AM
His addicted on you like drugs , love have levels that make the person have addiction on you , all he wants to own you , and that is wrong , the way he get it is wrong , when I red your question , I under stand you didn't try to confess him that you are for him and you never ever will cheat on him , and these are my friends texting me , and the Facebook thing , I call that website problems , getting jealous all the time if some one comment on your pictures , I hate Facebook for that , and I really under stand what is that guy is going through, he is simply addicted on you , and you the one can cure him , breaking up will give you good thing and bad thing , the good thing you will have the freedom you looking for and the bad thing is , this guy will end up in bad way , you got the cure in your mouth , is talking with him and explain to him ever thing , set a date with him , and try to explain o him what every little thing , that is wrong about him , and tell him I'm sick tired of all this you are putting me under pressure , and I love you and I will never leave u , but please enough with this ****ed up mood , if he didn't get that message you sending to him , then I will say break up with him, I think why he is doing all this things and why his telling you that he doesn't like his life , did you try to ask him what is the problem is going on with him , did you try to give him advice and solutions and what is the best for him , or just you focused on his negative things and didn't care about his problems, when the depressed person reach that level , the only person he love and give him things like kissing with love , he wants to own him like he made you with his bare hands , that solution of this problems it's in your hands like I told you before , don't get rush and break up with him , do the things I asked you to do
ironhide262
Dec 15, 2010, 03:10 AM
It's time for you to break up with him. You are in a relationship with a very controlling and manipulating guy here. He really does need some counseling!
I know you love him but there's not much you can do to change/help him. Things will only get worse. Change is up to him.
Please move on and find a guy that will appreciate who you are and let you be you!
kaka67
Dec 15, 2010, 03:20 AM
you the one can cure him ,
Its not her job to cure him. That's his job. His families job.
And at 18 years of age she has better things to do then to cure someone.
This man isn't stupid. He knows what he's doing. And is doing it very well if she hasn't left yet.
He is manipulative, controlling and probably verbally and physically abusive towards her. Why would you advise her to stay and cure him? :confused:
She needs to get out now.
talaniman
Dec 15, 2010, 11:55 AM
A year of this kind of misery is enough. Get out of this, and let him deal with the consequences of his actions (losing you), and his own demons without you. He never will as long as you allow his bad behavior.
Wondergirl
Dec 15, 2010, 12:08 PM
1) because he would always want to
2) he would always guilt me into it
3) he won't allow me
4) he won't let me talk to
5) he flips out and asks tons of questions
6) he doesn't like
7) he always breaks up with me
8) he tries to get me back
9) he makes me feel guilty
10) he always wants to do things
11) he touches me and I don't like it
12) he is almost always in a bad mood
13) he has told me that if I didn't take him back he was going to kill himself
and the kicker --
14) I am scared of what he might do if I leave him!
Now, what was your question again?
J_9
Dec 15, 2010, 07:20 PM
ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Wondergirl again.
Fabulous!!
artichoke
Jul 9, 2011, 10:48 AM
You really need to break up with this man. I was in a very similar relationship when I was your age, and I stayed with the guy I was dating after this stage and let me tell you, it doesn't get any better! He ended up being really controlling and horrible. He would manipulate and blackmail me to not talk to people. I ended up with no one except a horrible guy who was very nasty to me. In the end he beat me up when I tried to leave. I stood up and I still left though. It took a lot of courage to leave while he was shouting he would kill himself and hitting me. Leave now and go to a friends or your parents house. If he says he'll kill himself, call an ambulance and the police for him and tell them what he is saying, they will help him from there. If you get any harassment afterwards, tell your local police and they will stop him from contacting you. Good luck to you.