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View Full Version : Girl says she doesn't want a relationship?


reddeviloo7
Dec 14, 2010, 03:46 AM
I met this amazing girl 5 years back when I was a kid... about 10 years old... and she was eleven.we had a great time together,and she started liking me.I was naïve,and didn't understand what love was.later that year,I moved to another part in town,and was never able to tell her my feelings.although I had developed feelings for her,I never accepted them,but neither did she.after five years without having heard from each other,she found me on Facebook.when I received her friend request... I didn't even know who she was... but then she told me... and we became very close.we exchanged phone numbers.. and we would chat or talk the whole day every single day for two months.we became so close,I fell in love with her.but when I told her this,she said she liked me a lot,and there was really no other person in the world whom she loved as much as me,but now,after 5 very hard years,she has forgotten her love for me,and moved on.she was in a relationship with a guy who hurt her a lot,and thus she broke up with him.she tells me that after that,she can't trust any guy in matters of love.but I kept on telling her sweet things,and showing how much I loved her.suddenly,after two months,she disappeared.I could not find her anywhere,I looked for her with her friends,at her college,everywhere,but I couldn't find her.I was really in love with her.so crazy in love,I would give my life for her.after two very hard months of looking for her,and not been able to get her off my mind,she texted me one evening apologizing for what she did,telling me that she knew I could never forgive her.but I love her a lot,and I did.she changed her phone number,and doesn't even want to give it to me.she says she likes me,but doesn't love me anymore,because I never tried looking for her when we were young,and also didn't even recognize her when she added me on Facebook.I really love her,and although we fight a lot,she always replies to me trying to make up for the fight even when she didn't have a fault.she keeps on telling me that she's not worth of me,that I deserve much more,but I always tell her that's not true,that I don't want anyone else in this world except for her,but she is just not ready to love me again.she says she left because we became too close,and she didn't want to fall for me again.ive assured her a billion times il never leave again,but she doesn't want to understand.she says she can't trust any guy again.I know she is telling the truth because everyone that knows her,tell me that I'm the only guy she talks to.but I really love her too much now,and am ready to do anything for her to love me again.I've apologized a million times for leaving when I was young,but she says its too late.she says she doesn't want to love anymore.I know that somewhere deep inside she has a strong feelings for me,but I think she is scared to fall in love again.please help me.I really love her a lot,and would do anything to make her love me like she did before.what I don't understand is,why did she look for me after so many years even when she knew I liked her,and she was in no mood for relationships.or why does she keep on coming back every time she leaves an promises she won't return.I just want to make her realize how much I love her,and try to win her love back the way I did five years back.on the 31st of this December,we shall complete six years of knowing each other.she was the first girl I ever loved,and I really want her to be the last one,and the only one.please help me.

talaniman
Dec 14, 2010, 06:11 AM
I noticed you are from India, so would like to know what your parents, and hers think of this love you have for her.

If knowing someone for 5 years has not brought together some sort of relationship, then it may be that though your feelings are intense for her, maybe hers are not the same. That you have spent so much time, and energy in this pursuit, is not a good thing either, As few 10/11 year olds have no clue as to what love is beyond their own family, and that's not naïve, just very young.

I also suspect, just because of your location, finding a life mate is looming large in your life, and you have chosen to put focus on this one female, instead of objectively looking around, and I may be wrong here, but your experience is very limited.

While its not unusual to want what seems to be beyond your reach, I highly suggest you focus on your own social life, expand it beyond just her, and take some careful steps to add balance, and stability to your own life, by seeing and doing other things and people That allows you to grow beyond the childhood dreams of forever love.

I think you are fixated on this one person in a very unhealthy way, because your own feelings have stopped you from listening to what she has told you over the years, and you have not grown beyond you own feelings in a healthy way.

Accept there is a great life beyond her, and explore others in your world, so you get a better understanding of your own thoughts, actions, and feelings. For now you better back off and re evaluate yourself, and where you are going.

No mention of her parents, or what she does in life, its all about your feelings, and what you want. No dating, or social interactions, none of that. You assume how she feels in her heart, but have no evidence of that except by texts, or some simple words. I feel there is a lot more to this story, and unless you have facts behind her feelings, then you really have nothing, but what you feel, what you want.

Its pretty obvious that she doesn't want what you want, and unless she does, you will never change her mind, and make her feel as you do.

Sorry guy, you need to back up, and take a more realistic veiw of this love you have.

reddeviloo7
Dec 14, 2010, 08:19 AM
You are right,I am from india.well,mixed cultures actually.my mum is mexican,while my dad is an indian.they really did not mind my feelings for her until she left me... and now thy think I shouldn't talk to her,because they are afraid she'll hurt e again.and from what she told me,her parents also did not mind our fondness for each other.. thnx... but I actually feel devastated now... coz you are not the first person that tells me this.there's already been a hundred people who have advised me to forget about her.but what I don't understand is... that after all the time I was away... why did she keep looking for me,and after she found me... why did she do all this.and I have tried getting to other people.theres a million girls who want to go out with me,but I seriously am not interested in any of them.the only person I see that way is this girl.I really don't want anyone else... and you are correct... she really has messed up many aspects of my life... but I really love her a lot,and don't want to loose her again.she is the world to me... and even if I manage to stay away from her... she always keeps on coming back... and I loose my confidence and fall back for her.no matter how hard I convince myself not to talk to her... at the end of the day... I always end up messaging her... or going to her college just to visit her.I am really confused... what should I do to forget her... because I don't think being friends with her will help in any case.I am already too weak... I won't be able to handle myself.please advice.

deastronat
Jan 5, 2011, 08:30 AM
Yah I have to tell yah that ah that gal loves yoh simple because she even comes bac 2 check what you are 1.still caring 2.do you have or have you gat a new gal.3.if yah still recognise who she is to you. And all I can say is that at this moment you sho'd be like you notice her side and be cool with this because she ain't need mob time situations and all you need to do is keep your part clean and so big.lastly act as you started it if she says no go by it and basically make her special whatever all times she will take her and think over it atill she will start changing towards this love time.thanks