LilyKason
Dec 13, 2010, 03:26 PM
I have low body self esteem! I've been told countless times how pretty I am and how lucky I am to have such a "tall, slim, model like body", but I just find my body too skinny! I'm naturally very skinny because no matter how much I eat I never seem to put on weight. This gives me a figure with very few curves and I just feel like if it wasn't for my face and height people would still think I'm 12 when I'm in fact 17. Lt makes me feel like I'm trapped in the body of a young girl when my friends around me are all becoming real women.
I'm usually a very outgoing, fun and hyper person but as soon as guys start to get serious with me I shy away because I don't feel like I'm good enough for them. Its killing me, I want to be able to feel pretty and believe that guys can actually like me the way I am.. but as soon as I manage to get myself esteem up for a second it comes plummeting back down again as soon as
I walk out the door. When I receive complements about it I often think they're sarcastic or mocking me, when I know they're not and I just don't understand why I cannot believe it, it seems like I see something different to them. This might also have been affected by people treating me of being anorexic when I was younger which has always made me feel ugly as being anorexic isn't the prettiest and healthiest sight.
I've tried everything to put on weight, and despite my skinniness I've always eaten a lot more than average girls my age, but nothing has changed my skinny appearance. I thought puberty might change that too but its not doing much! So I guess I've got to let go of trying to change myself and accept it, but how? And how can I feel good about my body? It's affecting my whole life =C
I'm usually a very outgoing, fun and hyper person but as soon as guys start to get serious with me I shy away because I don't feel like I'm good enough for them. Its killing me, I want to be able to feel pretty and believe that guys can actually like me the way I am.. but as soon as I manage to get myself esteem up for a second it comes plummeting back down again as soon as
I walk out the door. When I receive complements about it I often think they're sarcastic or mocking me, when I know they're not and I just don't understand why I cannot believe it, it seems like I see something different to them. This might also have been affected by people treating me of being anorexic when I was younger which has always made me feel ugly as being anorexic isn't the prettiest and healthiest sight.
I've tried everything to put on weight, and despite my skinniness I've always eaten a lot more than average girls my age, but nothing has changed my skinny appearance. I thought puberty might change that too but its not doing much! So I guess I've got to let go of trying to change myself and accept it, but how? And how can I feel good about my body? It's affecting my whole life =C