My brother's ex girlfriend passed away in a car accident. She and my brother have a 4 yr old together, and he is on the birth certificate, and had her every weekend for visitation. There was never any court order for custody or child support. He is on parole, has no job, and lives with my parents. He's just violated his parole, and will more than likely be headed back to jail to finish his sentence of 87 more days.
When she passed away, the maternal grandparents took their little girl home from the hospital. My brother told them they could keep her there until after the funeral, but now they will not let him have her. He was planning to give them custody of her and work out something where he would have visitation. But they want to cut him completely out of her life. They no longer will let him see or talk to her on the phone. Nobody on my brother's side of the family is allowed to have any contact with her.
As of right now, they have no court issued custody, or anything. My brother has decided since they refuse to try and work things out, he doesn't want to give them custody. I asked him to allow me to have custody of her, and one day IF he can ever get his life right, then we will work it out where she can live with him again. If he never does, then she has a loving home with my family, and will be raised just like she was my own child.
My brother has signed guardianship papers with me, giving me temp. guardianship. We have had them notarized, and I plan to take them to the police later tonight so they can escort me to the grandparents home to get her. I have already been told by the police these papers are all I need.
I plan to file for guardianship of her, with my brother's permission, of course, through the courts. I cannot afford the $2500 the lawyers are asking for them to do it, and I have tried every lawyer, legal aid and otherwise, and nobody can help me. So I am going to do the paperwork myself, and file myself. The grandparents have already filed, with my brother being the respondent. Since I now have temp guardianship of her, will they have to name me as the respondent? And since she will be in my home when I do have to go to court, and my brother supports me as having it, will they have to prove me unfit to be able to take her away? I am able to provide for her, and take care of her. She will live in a home with 2 loving parents, and my 4 children. I am not married, we have lived together for 8 years. Would it be best if I was married? We planned on a late summer wedding next year, but if it would be better for me to get married now, I will do it. Thanks!

Which state?

Missouri

Section 452.375
452.375. 1. As used in this chapter, unless the context clearly indicates otherwise:
(4) "Third-party custody" means a third party designated as a legal and physical custodian pursuant to subdivision (5) of subsection 5 of this section.

2. The court shall determine custody in accordance with the best interests of the child. The court shall consider all relevant factors including:

(1) The wishes of the child's parents as to custody and the proposed parenting plan submitted by both parties;

(2) The needs of the child for a frequent, continuing and meaningful relationship with both parents and the ability and willingness of parents to actively perform their functions as mother and father for the needs of the child;

(3) The interaction and interrelationship of the child with parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interests;

(4) Which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent, continuing and meaningful contact with the other parent;

(5) The child's adjustment to the child's home, school, and community;

(6) The mental and physical health of all individuals involved, including any history of abuse of any individuals involved. If the court finds that a pattern of domestic violence has occurred, and, if the court also finds that awarding custody to the abusive parent is in the best interest of the child, then the court shall enter written findings of fact and conclusions of law. Custody and visitation rights shall be ordered in a manner that best protects the child and any other child or children for whom the parent has custodial or visitation rights, and the parent or other family or household member who is the victim of domestic violence from any further harm;

(7) The intention of either parent to relocate the principal residence of the child; and

(8) The wishes of a child as to the child's custodian.

5. Prior to awarding the appropriate custody arrangement in the best interest of the child, the court shall consider each of the following as follows:
5) Third-party custody or visitation:

(a) When the court finds that each parent is unfit, unsuitable, or unable to be a custodian, or the welfare of the child requires, and it is in the best interests of the child, then custody, temporary custody or visitation may be awarded to any other person or persons deemed by the court to be suitable and able to provide an adequate and stable environment for the child. Before the court awards custody, temporary custody or visitation to a third person under this subdivision, the court shall make that person a party to the action;

(b) Under the provisions of this subsection, any person may petition the court to intervene as a party in interest at any time as provided by supreme court rule.

My brother has signed guardianship papers with me, giving me temp. guardianship. We have had them notarized, and I plan to take them to the police later tonight so they can escort me to the grandparents home to get her. I have already been told by the police these papers are all I need.

I do not know how it may be resolved in Missouri, but in Pa,NY or Ca only court can grant third party custody rights,thus that sort of notarized papers have no legal merrits.

Third Party Custody
• Missouri also allows third party custody in cases when it is warranted, if a court determines that both of the child's parents are unfit, unsuitable or unable to parent the child and that awarding a third party legal and physical custody is in the child's best interest. A third party, also known as a "party of interest," is usually a grandparent or other close family member and can intervene at any time, according to state law.
Child Custody & Visitation Laws for Missouri | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/about_5208798_child-custody-visitation-laws-missouri.html)





. The grandparents have already filed, with my brother being the respondent. Since I now have temp guardianship of her, will they have to name me as the respondent?

You do not have temporary guardianship.



And since she will be in my home when I do have to go to court, and my brother supports me as having it, will they have to prove me unfit to be able to take her away?

No. They are her primary caregivers and you have the burden to prove that you will be better caretaker than them or they are unfit.

You really need a lawyer for this but you could file a joinder to the action / petition for custody / guardianship. That way you will have at least a say in court as an interested party. The grandparents are being foolish at this time.

The grandparents are being foolish at this time.

Not sure...

My brother has managed to get himself arrested, and now his parole is being revoked and he is headed back to jail. I have been able to talk to my niece, and to both of her grandparents. I told them as long as we are not cut out of her life, I would be okay with them having custody, and that I would not file. And they promise to not cut her out of our lives. This being said, I can't just take their word that we will be able to see her once all of this is settled.
So, what can I do? I can probably even get my brother to agree to them having custody of her, as long as my parents or I can at least get court ordered visitation. I don't want to fight with them, I want to get along, but at the same time I want to make sure that legally we will have the right to see and visit with her. Is that what you are talking about with the "joinder"?
Do I have to get them to agree to this, or do I just go to court when they have the custody hearing? Do I have to file something else?
Also, would I have to have a lawyer for this, I have also found out they filed all of this on their own without an attorney. Does that matter for me?

I also forgot, would it be too much to ask the court to give us every other weekend, because it would probably be what my brother would get anyway?