PDA

View Full Version : He blocked his Wall after a Fling!


girlbaby99
Dec 11, 2010, 08:55 AM
Hello,
I need to know how to interpret this. I met someone while visiting my family out of town. We connected and saw each other during the time I was there, we even became a little physical! We have been in touch ever since, via telephone, F/book etc. Because the long-distance calls were expensive, we would utilize the f/book chat box more often. He told me that prior to meeting me, he had met someone recently that lived out-of-town as well... a kind of new relationship. Although we talk a lot, we never talk about a relationship between us two (I suppose because we are aware of the distance between us) although he did ask me to visit him soon. I feel so emotionally attached to him, in- fact I think I'm smitten! The problem is that a couple days ago, I noticed that I can't access his f/book wall, which I could have done before. I don't know why I feel so offended by this. Maybe I am making a big deal out of this but I feel very silly and suspicious about it. Should I mention this to him or has this "fling" expired?

Jake2008
Dec 11, 2010, 09:42 AM
Was it before, or after you became 'a little physical' with him, that he told you he was in a new relationship with someone else.

If you are now aware that he is in a relationship with someone, and he has not told you he isn't, then you should most likely assume he is not interested in having a relationship with you, at the same time he is in a relationship with another woman.

Without knowing whether he is single and free to be in a relationship with you, my advice is to keep a respectful distance, not take any chances, and be certain that what he is telling you, is the truth.

Considering the 'normal' conversation between you over the internet, him blocking his wall in Facebook to you, would have me thinking that there is someone else in the picture, and he does not want your paths to cross.

talaniman
Dec 11, 2010, 10:42 AM
Uh Oh! I think whatever you had is over, and he no longer wants you being in contact with him. So leave it alone and go about your own business, and stay out of his.

girlbaby99
Dec 11, 2010, 12:42 PM
Talaniman, although he blocked his Wall, the chat box is still open and he is still putting messages in my in-box. I don't think that he does not want to have contact with me, I just think he doesn't want me to see what's going on there.

Comment on Jake2008's post
I think it was after, but he made it sound "by the way ish" like it was not important and I'm the one who asked. His response was that he met someone in October, it's new and she's very far away.

Jake2008
Dec 11, 2010, 01:03 PM
I think your instinct is right on the money.

You had to ask him, if there was another girl in his life, and there is, and he downplayed it, and added that she was very far away. So, that makes it okay to have more than one I guess. If you hadn't asked, he likely wouldn't have told. How would you ever have known. Your original post described him a referring to the other girl as him being in 'a new relationship' with her. Who knows, that might mean one week, or six months they were together, or it could still be ongoing.

I would feel he is circling the wagons on his Facebook. And there is a reason for blocking people, and that is so they don't have access to certain information.

That you still chat in Facebook, what have you got to lose by asking a straight question. Ask him if the new relationship is ongoing. If it is, and he's making up excuses why it is (she won't let go, he is about to break up, she cheated, etc. etc.blah blah blah), then you are right to suspect that there is indeed, someone else.

Which makes him unavailable.

He may present another person in his life by describing it as a 'by the way ish' sort of way, which is likely not how the girlfriend would describe her relationship with him.

Before you invest any more time, get a straight answer. If he doesn't give you one, or instict is telling you what he says it is not the truth, then let him go. Three people don't work out in one relationship.

Trust your instinct.

girlbaby99
Dec 12, 2010, 03:52 PM
I took your advice Jake2008! Not only did I ask a straight question, but I stated exactly how I felt and what I thought about it, by placing a message in his in-box and... abra-cadabra... The Wall re-appeared in minutes!

Jake2008
Dec 12, 2010, 04:46 PM
Good for you! That is a great start to pushing the communication a little bit more to see what's really up with him. There is absolutely no harm, ever, with anyone, in asking a straight forward, honest question, in a polite way. You aren't accusing him of anything, and it takes out the guesswork. The more you learn how effective direct communication is, the more you learn.

I've met people that I've wondered about, and had an impression over, but didn't feel comfortable enough to challenge informaion,or ask questions. But, eventually that causes a wall to go up, an until you knock it down, you don't really know if you are right or wrong. One person I couldn't read, I eventually just asked some questions, and turned out, she was the opposite of how she appeared to be. She is now a great, honest friend. Silence can sometimes mask many things.