View Full Version : Should I tell her how I feel?
mustang92
Dec 9, 2010, 07:58 PM
I met this girl a little over four years ago and since last fall our friendship has taken off so quickly. Were both 18 and High school seniors but she's taking courses at the college now to get some of the classes out of the way so do I rarely see her at school. Present time were best friends and were both aware of that and I give indirect hints that I may want to be more than just best friends, but I think its so obvious that she doesn't notice or refuses to talk about it to me because she doesn't want to risk what we have. We have a very open relationship to each other. When I'm with her I feel so vulnerable but as long as I know that she's with me I know everything will turn out okay. There's nothing I've every held back from her besides telling her how I feel. We try to spend as much time together as possible but with her schedules it tends to difficult because I have school full time and job that doesn't have a set schedule and she is enrolled for 15 hours at the college along with a full time job working 40 to 60 hours a week. I've never met anyone I'm more compatible and that makes me so happy, but since were both aspiring surgeons we have to put school first. Since we can't see each other but maybe once or twice a month we try to text each other everyday but it never goes any longer than three days not talking to each other and sometimes she'll text me, "sweetdreams:)" before she heads off to bed. I dream so much about her and usually I'll tell her. For instance we were at one of our favorite places in my dream and we kissed. So the next day I told her and her reply was that I have a sensitive side. I don't really know if she wants to be more than friends and won't admit it because she knows we don't have the time or its to obvious to notice or just wants to be friends. If you have any questions I'll gladly answer them...
talaniman
Dec 9, 2010, 10:01 PM
You both are goal orientated, and working hard, and it would be a shame to mess up such a close sweet relationship when you can barely maintain a friendship. I think she knows how you feel, but what can she really do about it, and accomplish what she has set out to do?
I don't see this as the time to rock the boat with titles, and expectations, at this time, and hope you focus, and achieve your goals, and see what happens next.
First define in your mind what being more than best friends means, because she won't make any more changes at this point, or make any commitments for anything I feel, that distracts her from what she is going for.
My guess is the same as yours, she doesn't want to risk the sweetness she has, open and uncomplicated, for the unknown of the next level. Hell of a predicament for sure, but I think timing trumps feelings on this one. I don't feel the timing is right for what you want, but I guess you never know.
Just me, I would hate to lose a friend because I moved before she was ready for the next level, but..! I have to say I am stumped at the moment.
nairshar
Dec 9, 2010, 10:21 PM
Well , tell you what ! If you really feel all that for her and the feeling is genuine , go for it , may be not in a obvious way ." Gesture " , "Actions" . Like they say "Action speaks louder than word",. ask her if you could walk her home , hold her hands while you walk , that's very sweet . Don't look at her when you hold her hand initially , let it be a sweet surprise , and when she glances at you , look at her and give her a sutle smile & then leave her hands.. know what I mean , girls appreciate that sweetness in men . She will fall for you if you do things like that :)
Or while you guys talk , sit close to her and kiss her forehead and look away , give her a smile when she looks at you..
Don't tell her straight away "I love you" , I mean sounds cliché , gesture all your feelings to her , Action certainly does speak louder than words..
carmenchild
Dec 13, 2010, 12:52 PM
If you really want to take your friendship to a relationship, you really need to just ask her, and try to not be obscure about it because sometimes it's hard to read the signs that you're sending so try and make it more clearer. Also If you've known each other for this long it may be weird in her point of view because she's so used to you being friends, but brace yourself okay, not every thing can go smoothly.
Anyway if anything happens know that I wish the best to you man.