So me and my boyfriend were together for 4 and a half months. I know it may not seem like a long time, but from the moment we met, we were inseparable. It was very intense, like we found each other, like we met the one. He's in the navy which means every now and again he'd be away at sea for a couple of weeks then come back. He used to always call me or email from the ship. We had THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. He was everything I had ever ever wanted. It was like being in a movie: he said I was the one, the love of his life, that he knew he loved me from the moment he met me, etc etc. When we were together at his place, we wouldn't even watch TV, we'd lie on the floor for hours, chatting, kissing, talking about how glad we were to have found each other, etc. Almost 5 months of heaven and pure happiness. Nothing to complain about... nothing at all.

We had our first (and only) fight just a week ago because he came back from sea and canceled plans to see me to stay out drinking with the sailors. Other than that, everything was still great. Then he left for a week and came back on Friday. In the morning he was messaging me saying he loved me and couldn't wait to see me.

That same afternoon, my world fell apart. I sent him a text and he sent a weird reply so I called him. He then told me he slept with a girl from his ship, twice, and that he had some feelings for her. That there had been sexual tension between them for months and he tried to resist it but then he caved. That he hid it from me for about 3 weeks but he was sick of the guilt and had to tell me, and he had to break up with me cause I deserved better.

I rushed to his house and then the craziest hours of my life began. I was there from 5 pm till 12 pm the next day. All I could do was sit and cry and ask him to hold me, and tell me it was a lie. He was shaken too and cried a few times. He's basically going away on the ship for five months at the end of this month so he thinks it's likely it could happen again (sleeping with her). He says he loves me with all his heart, that I'm the woman he wanted to one day marry and have kids with. And that if he could choose, he'd be with us both!! Of course I said that wasn't an option.

He kept going back and forth. At times saying he doesn't want to lose me, we can get through this, can we start again and he'll be faithful. Then minutes later changing his mind and saying he'd probably cheat again and doesn't want to hurt me. He says he has never been faithful to any girlfriend, and he loves me more than he has ever loved anyone before and he still did it.

He also said he struggles with depression, has an alcohol problem and hates himself and his life and is going to seek help. ALL THIS sh*t CAME OUT AT THE SAME TIME. Right up until this point, he hid it all from me because according to him he was trying to be the 'perfect man for me'

Guys, I need help. I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING. I know what he did was wrong and still I am struggling to let him go. I'm at a friends place cause I can't be on my own. Its been 2 days and all I do is cry, can't eat or sleep. I can't get rid of the feeling that he was the one and I lost him. I don't even know if he has called cause my phone is out of battery.

He'll be gone for 5 months on a ship with her. So I guess there's no fixing this, no working through it. BUT IT HURTS SO MUCH.
Did he ever really love me or was he playing a part and faking it all the entire time?

Well I had a girl do somewhat the same thing to me and my advice just let it be

He's been honest to you. He could tell you he wanted to work things out and try again, then go sleep with her. He could even hide it from you to begin with. It means he cares about you, just not as much as you want him to (not enough to be faithful.)

There's no excuse for cheating. Did you sleep with anyone else while he was gone? No, you didn't. Because it's how a committed relationship works.

He obviously has his own issues and he needs to work on them. He would be nothing but more trouble for you right now. I know it's hard to let go after such incredible moments (I can totally understand, from what you describe it sounds like you guys had a great relationship.) But now that you know it's not his real face (he's been "trying to be the perfect man for you" - which he isn't) can you even trust him again?
"If he had to choose", he'd be with you both... Is that the kind of man you want to be with?

As much as it hurts, you will have to let go. The distance will only make it easier. I think he really did love you, for what it's worth, he tried to be someone he wasn't just to make you happy and it says a lot. He's still trying to be honest to you, telling you he might cheat again.

But please, don't accept just anything. I know it hurts, but you will be fine. It just takes time.
I wish you a lot of patience, and good luck.

You have been very lucky in what you have experienced,the intense emotions,the lust and closeness with another person,its special and there's a lot of people who never get to experience those hurricane feelings.

Now that its over, its hard to adjust to just 'normal' life, but you can. Keep busy keep talking to your friends and family.

Keeping a diary to purge those feelings into, from start to finish,from when you met,the breakup and your recovery.

In time looking back over those pages you will see what is clear to many who are advicing you now.

1. he lied to you,when you were honest.

2. he could not keep his willie in his pants.

3. he was/is lusting after someone else while you waited at home for him.

4. he had sex with someone else (maybe without a condom, go get yourself checked out!)

5. he broke your heart in the most cruel way.

Did you love him with all your heart? yes... did he love you, well maybe in his own warped head,but not in the same way you loved him.

You can and you will get over this,but no contact from here on in will help, and when your feeling weak and want to make contact,remember,you were crying your heart out and he was lusting after someone else.

Wow - I think you really need a morning wake-up call!

Think about it. He cheated on you and then HE broke up with YOU. Doesn’t that sound a little odd? You should have been the one to kick him firmly to the curb.

Right now you are completely confused about this relationship. For some reason you actually seem to still want to be with the cheating jerk. You really need to think about the fact that not only did he cheat, but he also told you he intends on cheating some more. You should be the one that's angry.

It's hard to hear, but it is true that he doesn’t love you. If he loved you he wouldn’t have cheated on you. You are in denial because you cannot imagine life without him. Stop fooling yourself. The sooner you realize life can and will go on without him, the better off you will be.

It was great while it lasted, but unfortunately he would be happy with having you both. Since that's not an option, let him go while you get all the emotions of hurt, and dissapointment out, and look to heal and grow from this experience, because break ups suck to hell, but we all live through them and eventually get wiser, and better, in our relationships.

He probably does love you when he is with you, but he can't keep it in his pants, or cobtrol his lusts when he is away. Maybe someday you will see this as a good thing that you found out now, than later, when you would have been a lot more involved than you already are.

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and that's only after the lust has worn off for you both.

I am going through something similar the only thing is that my boyfriend and I were together for 4 and half years and we have a two year old son. It's a heart ache that is hard to pass because it recently happened to me. He says his reasons for cheating was because I was not supporting his dream goal of owning a magazine and that the other girl did.He slept with her many times while I was home watching our son, going to school, and work. Than to top it off he broke up with me and decided to be with her. Now he emails me telling me he loves me and misses me and wants us to be together and that I should wait until he breaks it off with. I honsetly hate him.