View Full Version : Break Up
rad0123
Dec 4, 2010, 07:16 PM
So I dated this guy (lets call him Steve) who had recently moved here from a different state. I met him through my brother, because they were really good friends. When we started dating I told him that if him and my brother ever stopped being friends, then we would have to stop dating. He understood that I would never date anyone my family didn't approve of, and it would just be awkward. We dated for six months, but a few nights ago him and brother got into a really big fight, and stopped being friends. My dad also agreed that he didn't like Steve anymore. So I sort of had to break up with him, and since Steve and my brother lived together, Steve had to move back to his home state.
We both talk all the time, and I still tell him I love him, and I do still love him.
I just want to know how to stop missing him. I can't stop crying, I miss him so much, and we both still love each other so much but we can't be together, my morals just won't let me date anyone my family doesn't approve of. How do I stop missing him? How do I get over him? How do I move on when we both are still so in love? I'm such a mess. I need help.
Homegirl 50
Dec 4, 2010, 07:44 PM
How old are you and what was the fight between him and your brother about?
I'm not understanding how it would be immoral for you to date someone your family does not like.
I can understand it being awkward, but why does your dad not like him now?
Is this guy an immoral person, what if your parents just arbitrarily decide they don't like someone you are dating? Is this a cultural thing?
Andrew916
Dec 4, 2010, 08:01 PM
You have to do no contact and move on in life. It's painfully simple and it may be horrible to go through but if you really want to move on you can't contact him.
-Drew
mmresd
Dec 6, 2010, 06:33 PM
If you want to stop missing him, thinking about him, and crying over him, there is only ONE thing you can do. That is go NO CONTACT, you need to stop talking to him for you to get over him, if you decide you want to keep him around as a friend (which is all that you can do since you are restricting yourself to NOT date him considering that your family doesn't like him) then do it after you are completely over him. You keep talking to him every night you will never get over him, you need space to heal, and TIME, remember that in this type of situations time is the ONLY thing that will help you forget, if you don't give yourself a chance, then it will not happen, or take FOREVER! The "We both talk all the time" and "I want to stop missing him" statements DO NOT go together. If you are that worried about what your parents think about your relationship, then go and find someone who they think is perfect. I do not know what your background is, but I don't believe it is unmoral to date someone you want to date, whether your parents love the guy or not, but that is my opinion.
Good Luck,
Javi
Homegirl 50
Dec 7, 2010, 08:12 AM
If it is so immoral for you to date him because of your family, you need to stop talking to him. That will take care of it.
Cat1864
Dec 7, 2010, 09:21 AM
I take it this mess hit the fan: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/peeped-into-boyfriends-privacy-found-things-never-wanted-see-520283.html.
Keep this in mind and go No Contact.
I will not date a junkie, or anyone who shoots up.
Stop ALL contact with him. Don't even look at Facebook/Myspace pages.
Get out of the house and get involved in things that help you feel good about yourself and YOUR future. Find projects that keep your mind and body (especially your hands) busy so that you don't have time or energy to dwell on him. Put thought and energy into your schoolwork.
I am not saying it will be easy. However, you can give yourself ways and means to even out the low points. Take care of yourself.
Homegirl 50
Dec 7, 2010, 09:26 AM
If what Cat1864 is the case, then you need to go no contact with him. Get out of the house and do things. This is bad news all round. Be done with it.