Som3Guy
Dec 3, 2010, 03:12 PM
Ahhhh.. here I am again. I have some other topics here as you can see apparently I'm horrible when it comes to dating so I need as much advice as I can get.
Last topic I wrote was about how could I know if I can kiss a girl, that was such an epic failure that I didn't have the courage to told you what happened until now. One day before she came to my house she said she was seeing someone. I was shocked, I didn't know if I cried, laughed, raged, so I just shutdown and stared at her. After I sucked it in I pretended it was all right since we are friends and nothing else , etc.
So I decided some days later to tell her that I would like to step away from her because I liked her more than a friend, at first she was upset, she said: 'hey I thought we agreed to be just friends when this started' and all that BS and then she said she was sorry for playing with my feelings and it was all right if I needed some time alone. So my time alone started, I was desvastated then, became depressed and aggressive, didn't want anything to do with anyone, you know I really liked, might as well say I almost loved her. But then one day she had enough of my behavior and said: "Why you being so rude? You want so much to get away from me that you are treating me bad?". I was really wanted to live my life without her being part of it but then SHE came after me and screwed everything again.
So we became best friends again because I'm a sucker I can't stay away from her, now she dumped that guy she was seeing and is single and we have the most close talks online, but in real life (THAT'S WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST) SHE ACT'S LIKE WE ARE JUST REGULAR FRIENDS, she looks a lot closer to my other friends then with me, but online she tells me every one of her secrets, but while my friends hug her, kiss her, walk with her holding her hand( they all have girlfriends so it's a'ight, no backstabbers here, I suppose) every time I say goodbye to her and hug her IT FEELS AWKWARD. Why?? I thought we were the closest of friends, is she embarrassed of me? I mean this breaks my heart I would give anything to hug her all the time but it seems like it makes her unconfortable.
Then today we played a little game of truth or dare and we both had to kiss each other in the neck, as awkward as it was she accepted it and while I kissed her briefly and quickly as she visibly was unconfortable, she kissed me with passion, slowly, several times.
WHAT THE **** SHOULD I DO? She is messing with my mind man! I WANT HER SO BADLY but I don't know if she's worth it. I mean is this because I'm inexperienced? It's because I don't take an attitud? Should I just get her to hug me and stay with me, because it seems like this is what she wants but she doesn't want from me because I'm a freakin loser who don't know his ways around a girl, how to touch her and all that stuff. She is not virgin, I am, maybe this counts too I don't know. I KNOW the right thing here would be forget her, but I CAN'T it's too powerful she is in my head and I can't get her out.
Sorry for the long *** story and the cursing but I'm losing it. Thanks for whoever brings a helpful insight on this.
FYI: My plan is simply getting her by the hand, grabbing her out from her group of friends for a private chat and while holding her hands saying: Just look me in the eyes and tell me that there is nothing going on between us so I can move on. Because honestly I can't tell right now. Then I'll know and if there is I'll try to make it blossom and if there isn't I'll go home cry a lot and then get back with my life :P
Last topic I wrote was about how could I know if I can kiss a girl, that was such an epic failure that I didn't have the courage to told you what happened until now. One day before she came to my house she said she was seeing someone. I was shocked, I didn't know if I cried, laughed, raged, so I just shutdown and stared at her. After I sucked it in I pretended it was all right since we are friends and nothing else , etc.
So I decided some days later to tell her that I would like to step away from her because I liked her more than a friend, at first she was upset, she said: 'hey I thought we agreed to be just friends when this started' and all that BS and then she said she was sorry for playing with my feelings and it was all right if I needed some time alone. So my time alone started, I was desvastated then, became depressed and aggressive, didn't want anything to do with anyone, you know I really liked, might as well say I almost loved her. But then one day she had enough of my behavior and said: "Why you being so rude? You want so much to get away from me that you are treating me bad?". I was really wanted to live my life without her being part of it but then SHE came after me and screwed everything again.
So we became best friends again because I'm a sucker I can't stay away from her, now she dumped that guy she was seeing and is single and we have the most close talks online, but in real life (THAT'S WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST) SHE ACT'S LIKE WE ARE JUST REGULAR FRIENDS, she looks a lot closer to my other friends then with me, but online she tells me every one of her secrets, but while my friends hug her, kiss her, walk with her holding her hand( they all have girlfriends so it's a'ight, no backstabbers here, I suppose) every time I say goodbye to her and hug her IT FEELS AWKWARD. Why?? I thought we were the closest of friends, is she embarrassed of me? I mean this breaks my heart I would give anything to hug her all the time but it seems like it makes her unconfortable.
Then today we played a little game of truth or dare and we both had to kiss each other in the neck, as awkward as it was she accepted it and while I kissed her briefly and quickly as she visibly was unconfortable, she kissed me with passion, slowly, several times.
WHAT THE **** SHOULD I DO? She is messing with my mind man! I WANT HER SO BADLY but I don't know if she's worth it. I mean is this because I'm inexperienced? It's because I don't take an attitud? Should I just get her to hug me and stay with me, because it seems like this is what she wants but she doesn't want from me because I'm a freakin loser who don't know his ways around a girl, how to touch her and all that stuff. She is not virgin, I am, maybe this counts too I don't know. I KNOW the right thing here would be forget her, but I CAN'T it's too powerful she is in my head and I can't get her out.
Sorry for the long *** story and the cursing but I'm losing it. Thanks for whoever brings a helpful insight on this.
FYI: My plan is simply getting her by the hand, grabbing her out from her group of friends for a private chat and while holding her hands saying: Just look me in the eyes and tell me that there is nothing going on between us so I can move on. Because honestly I can't tell right now. Then I'll know and if there is I'll try to make it blossom and if there isn't I'll go home cry a lot and then get back with my life :P