Ahhhh.. here I am again. I have some other topics here as you can see apparently I'm horrible when it comes to dating so I need as much advice as I can get.

Last topic I wrote was about how could I know if I can kiss a girl, that was such an epic failure that I didn't have the courage to told you what happened until now. One day before she came to my house she said she was seeing someone. I was shocked, I didn't know if I cried, laughed, raged, so I just shutdown and stared at her. After I sucked it in I pretended it was all right since we are friends and nothing else , etc.

So I decided some days later to tell her that I would like to step away from her because I liked her more than a friend, at first she was upset, she said: 'hey I thought we agreed to be just friends when this started' and all that BS and then she said she was sorry for playing with my feelings and it was all right if I needed some time alone. So my time alone started, I was desvastated then, became depressed and aggressive, didn't want anything to do with anyone, you know I really liked, might as well say I almost loved her. But then one day she had enough of my behavior and said: "Why you being so rude? You want so much to get away from me that you are treating me bad?". I was really wanted to live my life without her being part of it but then SHE came after me and screwed everything again.

So we became best friends again because I'm a sucker I can't stay away from her, now she dumped that guy she was seeing and is single and we have the most close talks online, but in real life (THAT'S WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST) SHE ACT'S LIKE WE ARE JUST REGULAR FRIENDS, she looks a lot closer to my other friends then with me, but online she tells me every one of her secrets, but while my friends hug her, kiss her, walk with her holding her hand( they all have girlfriends so it's a'ight, no backstabbers here, I suppose) every time I say goodbye to her and hug her IT FEELS AWKWARD. Why?? I thought we were the closest of friends, is she embarrassed of me? I mean this breaks my heart I would give anything to hug her all the time but it seems like it makes her unconfortable.

Then today we played a little game of truth or dare and we both had to kiss each other in the neck, as awkward as it was she accepted it and while I kissed her briefly and quickly as she visibly was unconfortable, she kissed me with passion, slowly, several times.

WHAT THE **** SHOULD I DO? She is messing with my mind man! I WANT HER SO BADLY but I don't know if she's worth it. I mean is this because I'm inexperienced? It's because I don't take an attitud? Should I just get her to hug me and stay with me, because it seems like this is what she wants but she doesn't want from me because I'm a freakin loser who don't know his ways around a girl, how to touch her and all that stuff. She is not virgin, I am, maybe this counts too I don't know. I KNOW the right thing here would be forget her, but I CAN'T it's too powerful she is in my head and I can't get her out.

Sorry for the long *** story and the cursing but I'm losing it. Thanks for whoever brings a helpful insight on this.

FYI: My plan is simply getting her by the hand, grabbing her out from her group of friends for a private chat and while holding her hands saying: Just look me in the eyes and tell me that there is nothing going on between us so I can move on. Because honestly I can't tell right now. Then I'll know and if there is I'll try to make it blossom and if there isn't I'll go home cry a lot and then get back with my life :P

She's clearly stated that you're just friends, but now she feels awkward when you hug her or try to kiss her because she knows you want more, but she's not interested.

You can either accept that you're just friends, or tell her that you can't be friends with her because you want more, and then stick with that decision.

Either way, you need to move on to someone else. This girl isn't interested in anything but friendship with you.

Ahhh.. definately not what I wanted to hear :( .
We did this "agreement" on the first place because she said she didn't wanted to start dating and lose the friendship if something happened (This was way back).
But I can't accept that we are just friends because it doesn't look like this, she is playing mind games with me, everyday is something different. Take today, she did the exact opposite of yesterday, I was chillin at the classroom with a chair in front of me, then she arrived, moved the chair away and got me up to give me a huge hug and a long kiss on the cheek, for like a minute, while just saying hello to my friends. That was great :) .
Then it was such a boring class that I just rested my head a little on her shoulder, than she did the same and started rubbing her hand on my face and stuff and then we holded hands and slept like this for some minutes, that was great too. Now tell me that this is just friendship.
I need my closure on this I have to ask her, but I'm scared as hell because I might as well have one window of opportunity in my life for this and I don't want to miss it :(

The hugging and caressing does sound like more than friendship, but, you stated in your original post that she hugs, kisses, and hold hands with everyone;


but while my friends hug her, kiss her, walk with her holding her hand

It doesn't sound like she treats you any differently than she treats her other friends.

Of course you should ask her, and if she agrees to be more than friends, great. But, based on the things you've told us here, I'd have to guess that she views you as a just a friend and nothing more. Be prepared that this might not go the way you want it to.

Good luck.

I suppose you are right. I'm losing it. Thing is..
This is our last week in the same class, we still have each other address, phone, she works next to me and stuff, but we won't be seeing each other everyday anymore. I'll miss her :/
So what should I do? I know the thing here is moving on with my life and stuff, but we are best friends, I still like her very much even though we might never be together. Should I stop being there for her? Should I stop going out with her? Cut contact and stuff. I don't know if I would endure this.
I won't make my life around it, but I believe deep down there is a flame burning for us, I think she hasn't given this a lot of thought yet and maybe, maybe one day we will be together like in the movies. I know, it's pathetic but what can I do it's just how I feel.
Thanks!

Soooo...
I told her. I asked if there is something going on and if it will ever be, and she said no.
I said it was OK and things would not be weird and stuff.
But she's still onto me, she just asked if we could something before class is over. I don't want to see her but I can't tell that
What I do now, I screwed up I took too much time to express my feelings now she has the wrong idea of me