My 11 year old daughter has 'apparently' decided never to live with me again. This after living with me 50% of the time, weekly, for 4 years. No warning signs. Said she loved me and ran off to school, then the emails from her mother started. I have not been able to talk to her since. Mother and step father (both cheaters with pretty questionable values, willing to lie about anything) tell me she is refusing to talk on the phone. I have no way of knowing if this is really the case. Neither have said to her 'you need to talk to your dad'. They just let it go... "if she doesn't want to talk to you, why should we make her?" She wouldn't even take my call on her birthday. Mother has always wanted this child for her own - there have been some strange attachment behaviors in the past.

I'm thinking this might be a case of Parent Alienation Syndrome. I'd love to find a simple Q&A checklist to see if this fits, or at least a dummied-down explanation of what to look for that doesn't require a degree in psychiatry. How can a person make a solid case of this in court, without costly professional witnesses?

What is presently in place through the courts for visitation rights ? She can't legally stop you from seeing your daughter. She is after all 11 years old, how can she know her own mind right now without external forces being at play here.

I wouldn't say you need witnesses, just a good lawyer to get this straightened out.

Visitation isn't even an issue... it's shared custody - 50/50. The mother has no legal right to do what she's doing... it seems to be a case of possession being 9/10 of the law...

I have a lawyer and it looks like it will cost big dollars. 5 months in and no resolution in site. Mother has evidently 'found' a counsellor I think she worked with previously. No idea how many appointments as the counsellor won't talk to me after I asked her to step aside and find a neutral counsellor. I did it nicely and only after finding plenty of dirt on her that indicated she really wasn't the right one for the job.

It's all pretty messed up.