I don't know how to explain our relationship very well. We're long distance, going to separate schools about an hour awayfrom each other. When were together it's great, but apart we just fight constantly over really stupid things. We are half way through first year of university, right before finals and have been going out for 6 months now. I feel like I've lost the love for her I once had and we've almost broken up several times on the past couple months ( over stupid things). She is looking ahead way into the future talking about plans to move in together in 3rd year, and I just don't think I'm ready for that level of commitment, and I have done a lot of thinking about my schooling, and decided that it would be best not to have a serious relationship while I need to focus. My dilemma is simple. It's December 3rd , less than a week before exams and I know she will be devastated if we break up.. And probably perform very poorly on the exams. I really don't want that for her. Also, it's right before Christmas after exams.. Which would be really tough too. I just don't feel like I can go on for a month faking my feelings for her any longer, should I break up with her or wait until a time that would be less stressful?

You have to be true to yourself.

And you have to be honest, and truthful to her.

There is no optimal time when breakups happen. They happen when they happen. Regardless that it is exams, or Christmas is coming up, life can't stop in its tracks because of the date and obligation on the calendar.

My advice is, if you are ready, and sure of your decision, then it is time. But be sure that it is not something you will hedge on, and change your mind once you are on your Christmas break. Think about the time that you will be home and you will both be available, and be prepared.

The positive is, the two of you are well aware that the relationship is not working, and a breakup will not come as a surprise to her from what you have said. Perhaps making this final decision will help, rather than hinder, her resolve to be free of the arguing and stress, in order to have better success with her studies. As it will also be with you.

You just have to follow your heart on this one.

Yes, she may be devastated, but she'll be that way regardless of when it takes place.

My best friend got dump right before the exam, the result was that he failed the subject.. So personally I think you should at least wait until after the exam to break up. After that, just follow your heart, don't wait for anything. If you postpone to Christmas, there's New Year, after NY, there's Valentine, etc... The point is, if you keeps waiting, you won't get anywhere.

This is a tough one as I've been in a similar situation, so I understand how tough it can be. The added stress of wanting to break up with writing your exams isn't healthy.

But I can tell you this, if I had to do it all over again, I would have waited until after exams. Especially since you're long distance, I suggest you confront her in person before doing it. At this point, it sounds like you're going to do it over the phone or by Internet which would really suck.

Furthermore, your stress from your exams might be overflowing to the relationship. Though she might want different things than you, it's not set and stone. I'm actually going to rout for you to stay together. It will be easier when you see each other in person and see where you each stand.

If you completely lost all love for her, then I guess it's not salvageable, but if any part of you feels like this can work out, then I would say give it another chance, but the chance should count after exams. Because if you break up with her now, you may never get her back and you might regret that decision for a very long time. Make sure this is what you want before doing it.

The day after exams would be my guess, since you obviously have waited this long already. You will ruin her holiday, but maybe she can pass her exams. Just curious why you never were honest about your discomfort at her making longer range plans for this relationship in the first place.