I was thrilled to say yes and I'm proud to wear the ring that we picked out together. It is trying to plan the wedding day that is becoming so stressful that I'm worried. We have a strong relationship and I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. There are complications because we are from different countries. It has been decided that we are going to get married in his country because of expense and other factors. I posted another question regarding these issues in another thread. The major issues aren't new ones, and ones I thought I'd come to terms with. Answers on the other thread were looking pretty grim like I shouldn't go forward marrying him. For some reason I couldn't modify my question... and my question has changed. I'm trying to plan a wedding and I'm worried that our first challenge (in our almost married life) is shedding a bright light on our issues that I thought I'd dealt with. I should be very excited and happy. I'm feeling childlike in how my emotions and feelings are surfacing. I feel disoriented. I'm crying a lot and it feels like I'm going though something huge. I've never felt this way before. I've never loved someone this way before. I'm an older bride, 37 1/2 this is also my last chance to have children of my own. I don't know if this fact is driving me nuts too so I'm not thinking as rationally or calmly as I normally would. I know he would be a very good father. I know it's one step at a time. My excitement in starting a life with this man and a family get me so excited I can barely believe it's happening. I know it will take time for me to find good friends in a new country I'm just feeling pretty alone with all of these changes and emotions at this time. Any help is greatly appreciated.

For all who are going to answer... here is the other thread with the background.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/im-engaged-im-resentful-partners-mother-his-legal-problems-526917.html

I've read both threads and in one you're stressed and contemplating marriage and the next you're excited and filled with child-like emotions. Not sure how to answer, but I can say one thing. Before you go through with this, make sure it's taken care of.

Well, I'm confused now, I'm not contemplating marriage. I'm getting married. I said I wrote another thread if someone wanted to see some back ground on answering this second question, also I didn't want to repeat what someone might have already read. I'm stressed out in both threads. I'm feeling conflicted emotions about being engaged. Is that normal? I see an option under manage your question and alter. I'm really new at this so didn't know how to alter my question. Or if I was meant to start a new thread. I feel childlike about how I'm dealing with my emotions towards my partners mother. i.e. maybe saying something mean... etc. Acting immature. I'm not sure what's going on. I guess I'm not writing my questions very clearly as I am confused about what my problem really is. I'm happy to be engaged, but I'm not sure how to deal with resentment that has come up with my partners family and his legal issues. I feel like I found some ground with great advice on the first thread and wanted to restructure my question because I worked through saying anything hurtful to my future mother in law and her son. I'm trying to plan a wedding and having a strange time of it. That's probably why I'm coming across all over the place. I just don't know how this forum works or how someone is meant to feel or act when engaged.

KarenChristine does not find this helpful : because it didn't say anything about either thread. Just warned people from responding to the question. Why?


First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedbac...ure-24951.html

I was only copying your previous post so that others who may answer you will have the entire background prior to answering.


I said I wrote another thread if someone wanted to see some back ground on answering this second question, also I didn't want to repeat what someone might have already read.

Not all members know how to go back and find the other thread you posted. That is why I linked to it and you gave me a reddie for it.

I think you should reread what you wrote. I simply said I didn't have an answer because I don't get a concrete feel for how you are feeling. In one thread I see distress and contimplation (you said it yourself in the last sentence of your first post) the second thread I see excitement, over-whelming emotions.

I can't answer because I don't know exactly how you feel, honestly I don't think you know how you feel. Excited, stressed, child-like, etc...

The way forums work is that the advice given can only be given based on your explanation of the situation. You're all over the board and we can't get help someone with their feelings towards being engaged if the person doesn't even know what they're feeling. We base our advice on what you write. Disagreeing with everybody because it's not the answer you're looking for isn't appropriate. If you're looking for a certain answer then why ask for advice at all? You're going to disagree with anyone who tells you something different then you want to hear. That's not fair to you or to us.

I think what you need t do before sitting down at your computer and just typing is to actually have a heart-to-heart with yourself. No one knows you better than you do. How do you feel? If you don't know then put that on here, don't put every emotion under the sun and expect us to be able to help you.

A lot of us are married and have been through the emotions of being engaged and married and we offer a lot of beenficial advice, but it's a two way street. Help us, help you!

Oops! I didn't understand, now I do. Sorry about the reddie. (that means no right?)

Thanks I understand where your coming from now. I didn't mean to be inappropriate. Just didn't know why you answered if you didn't have an answer. I'm going to take your advice and have a heart to heart with myself.