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nil07
Nov 28, 2010, 08:52 AM
First of all, sorry for my bad english. I'm not so good in grammar and vocab. :S

Secondly, I need opinion on this. :)

I'm 23 and he is 29. He is my manager at work, and I have a crush on him for almost 1 year.

He like to tease me, and call me by several name. And I also created a name for him. So, we will call each other by the name when we chat online, and sometimes in front of other people as well.

When he see me, he will smile, and look at me until I need to look at somewhere else. Every time we talk or chat we will argue, called each other crazy, and virtual kick. When I asked him to stop, cause its getting boring, he said he will stop when I stop saying him crazy and virtual kick him. Almost every night we chat if he online. And most of the time he start first.

When I'm close with the other guys, he will said that I like the guy, and he feel suspicious of me and the guy. And when he talking/flirting with other girls, after finish it, he will asked for my opinion on the topic that he talked with the girls. When he knew that I was jealous, he was so excited, and deny that he was flirting. If I want he can show me what is flirting, but he don't want to do that caused people will think that he is after me.

He never invite me for lunch. Every time lunch he will invite everyone else except me. Hence I never join him for lunch, until my ex-colleague complain to him on how he never invite me for lunch. Since then he invite me, but according to my other senior, during the time I didn't join them, he always asked my senior why I didn't join them lunch. And last two weeks, he asked me what's for lunch, and before I can answer he said never mind, cause I won't join him. He said that he knew that I want go lunch with this one guy.

He also asked me what did girls looks for in a guy. He said it will be easy for him to chase a girl if he knew what they looks for in a guy generally. I said that I don't know, and he said, that I'm arrogant for not answering his question.

I asked him a question related to work, and he told me to open the link and he will come to my place soon. But suddenly, he asked me to give him the link so that he can check it from his place. He said he don't want go near me. And I feel offended by that.

I think he knew he have offended me cause after this incident, on the same day, he didn't tease me or talk to me during lunch. He also suddenly talk to me politely and try to make a conversation after lunch.

But I don't understand his behavior. He always secretly help me or concern towards me, but he also always give me false hopes. Sometimes he's cold, and sometimes he's hot. And when he's cold, he's really cold and will completely ignore me. I really don't understand this guy.

Help.. I'm aware that I can just ask him, but I don't want to do that cause I think it will be awkward... :S So, I need opinion on why he behave like this... Thanks...

Devorameira
Nov 28, 2010, 09:15 AM
Personally, I think its bad news all around. You need to stop playing with fire altogether.

Being involved with anyone you work with isn't a good situation to be in, let alone being involved with your boss. How any relationship between the two of you develops will pretty much determine if you'll have a job in the future.

If he's constantly flirting with you, he can't be very professional, as far as I'm concerned.

I'll bet if he's doing this with you, he's doing it with others, also. Stay smart. I've been in this situation before , and thankfully I was smart enough, NOT to fall into it. If you value your position, I'd say leave it alone.

talaniman
Nov 28, 2010, 10:15 AM
You have a crush on someone who doesn't share your feelings. Paling around with a co worker is normal, but nothing you have written, not even the friendly flirting indicates he has anything bit friendship for you.

You may want him to pay you special attention, but I doubt he does, so let go any romantic notions.

youradvisor1
Nov 28, 2010, 11:38 AM
Sounds like too many games to me. It's fun to flirt, tease and be playful with the opposite sex but considering he is your manager I would back off. If he starts don't reciprocate. The fact that you guys chat outside of work indicates to me that he may have a thing for you however I wouldn't get my hopes up. As soon as a guy I'm interested in starts up with the hold and cold bull**** I immediately head for the door. IMO if you're really interested in a relationship with me then you would pursue it with consistency and not run the risk of turning me off. I will say as a mgr I don't find his behavior very professional or respectful. He should treat his employees neutrally and equally. I'm sorry but if someone I reported to acted up and down with me I would probably politely confront that individual and ask what we could do to improve our rapport.

help_ful101
Nov 28, 2010, 03:12 PM
I can see you guys like to flirt but the jelliously only usually comes after you had sex with him did you ? Cause it seems like if you did it with him you might do it with someone else and I can see he likes you , maybe just maybe might fire you just so he can ask you out