I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years & have lived with him for 2. The other night I went home to my parent's house (spent the night there as well) & he went to hang out with 2 of his guy friends. I didn't talk to him the entire night. I was trying to text him & everything but he never answered. The next morning he apologized, said he went to a local bar & left his phone in the car so I forgave him. Two days later when he was at work, I found 2 ATM receipts from a strip club while doing his laundry! He took out $150.00! I confronted him about it over the phone & he denied it! Then when I told him about the receipts he finally admitted to where he went & apologized. He said he went to a bar, got really drunk, then went to the strip club. He's not into them & has never been to one since we've been together. We both agreed not to go to those places because we would both be uncomfortable knowing what goes on. We haven't gone on a date in about 3 months because of how busy we've been & I asked him how he spent $150 at the club... he said it was on drinks but if he was already really drunk how is that all he spent it on? I looked up that club online & they had $3 drinks that night so give me a break.

What should I do? I'm trying to be optimistic about this but I have a feeling I'm not getting the whole story. It's so hard because we're really serious & committed but I'm trying to not make this a big deal. Guys/girls please help!

Okay he went to a strip club and blew a bunch of money. That's not all that hard, drunk or not, since that's why they are there, to make money. For 3 bucks the drinks are not that big and any guy and his friends will drink a lot of them,

What do guys do at clubs like this, they put money in g-strings, and hoot and holler at the dancers. That's what guys do. That's probably what he did. And that's all he will admit to and there can't be much more because there is no sex and very little personal contact. What else do you need to know? /

Now you can be all insecure, and worried about what went on, and why he lied, and why he even did what he did with his buddies, but what a waste of time, and energy that would be because, to a guy and his drunk buddies, it was a great idea at the time, and whether you like it, or not, we guys get curious about such macho man stuff.

We also lie about it because who wants to explain to a tight jawed. Mad female about his drunk antics with his drunk best buds?? So make this about whatever you want, but its only as big a deal as you make. Heck if he did it every night, I would be worried, but for a one time curious man thing, let it go.

He knew how you felt and was trying to spare you (and him) some hard feelings. That simple, now let it die.

First of all he probably lied cause he knew you didn't approve, and he had spent quite a bit of money. TT usually go to strip clubs with my boyfriend, and I know just how much you cn spend in one night... even if the drinks are not a lot.

Trust me, if he was already drunk, then he was an easy pick for the girls. He was probably havigna good time, trying ot show off to friends a bit, and obviously could not say no to dances... and sometimes its hard for a drink man to say no to a deliriously hot naked girl.

I should know. I'm a girl and I find it hard.

I'm comfortable with my man in a club, with or without me. He has been nothing but honest, and I don't tell him what to do with his money... for as long as he spends enough of it on me... the rest is his... he does with it whatever he wants... he earned it.

Now I think you a getting bright ideas, Sure some clubs can get girls doing naughty things behind curtains... but most clubs will not stand for it.

Why don't you experiment with it.. if you really don't trust him?

I mean its no use speculating. Ask him to get the same amount of money out, go to the same club and have a good time. Ask the bouncers what the rules are, ask the girls. If you want to be naughty ask the girls what your man will get for a dance... say maybe you want to buy him an extra dirty one. (obviously when he is not there... or is... your choice.)

The extras girls will take the bait, and you will know there is some dirty going on... and know not to let your man come back, and maybe put him for a night on the sofa and then let it go forever.

Seriously, these clubs are nothing to worry about-trust me. IF you choose a nice club, you will find that most of the girls are respectful to you cause they know this is your man she is gridding on for as long as you are polite.
You have to remember most girls here are as smart and as human as you-talk to them... its sometimes can be good girly fun. On a whole understand that he comes home to you, he is in love with you... and that he is a man-he will not have eyes only for you forever you know... you can be Angelina Jolie and he wills till want to look at another girl naked just because she is another girl naked... nothing to it. Just a man thing.

Also, whatever his intentions, most girls in these clubs do not date the men they meet at work-ever. Especially if he is a face she sees a lot, with his girlfriend.

There are drity, *****y girls too... who want to sleep with a guy who spends money on her and don't give a rats *** about his girlfriend or anything else. But these are everywhere... if you man find one of these in a bar or a strip club... there is the same chance of cheating as any.

Not that he would. You have to trust him. If not, let him have his trip clubs... it will become boring and not new... it won't be a dirty thing that he want to keep to himself.
Chances are... he would even not like it as much as he would when you said no.
Men like to be a little naughty.

Most girls needs to understand that she can let her man go to a strip club. Make sure it's a club with good rules and lots of them... your man will still go and pay to see a naked girl (which is all the fun, the pay part) but she will be standing two feet before him, thinking about he shopping, and telling him how handsome he is so he can buy another. He will be drunk, go home. She will have a bit of money for her shoes and bills, and go home. No one will ever see the other again.

If he becomes her regular... then worry a little... but its still not big deal cause she will only be making money, he will have something like a naked girl who will tell him all the **** you will never... and she will never see him outside the club. Thing is... you make sure of this... so when you do find out he is her regular... try to meet her, be nice... and do the one thing men hate... become her friend. Simple. She will not be his fantasy anymore-not quite.

I totally agree with Tal--its not a big deal. I know your not happy about him lying, but ask yourself would you of been any more pleased if he would have called and said" Hey us guys are going to strip club tonight, but dont worry I am only going to drink and put money in their g-strings"? NO, you still would have been ticked off. So he went, he spent, he lied, he got caught, now its time to get over it.

Get some girlfriends together and go to the Chip-n-Dales. You will have a blast!! It is more fun to just watch the other woman having such a good time, its like a big party!! But I would make sure you let him know up front.

First I wish they would close every one as a pastor,

But in your relationship, in these places, expect first that there were higher drinks latter into the night, and he was buying hisself, and friends, and some girls drinks.

After that the girls don't have sex and do anything but shake it at the men.

If I were you, I'd confront him about it. Tell him that there is no way in hell he could have bought $150 worth of drinks if its only $3. Stand up for yourself, tell him "what were you doing that night?" and if he still denies it threaten him. Just try to sit down with him and talk about it. Tell him you want this to be an honest relationship and if he won't give you that, then there is better fish in the sea.