tonysala
Nov 27, 2010, 06:24 AM
Hi, my name is Tony, 43 y.o. Using a forum for first time, but always open to listen and if anybody can help me on this, great :) So, 3 months dating this girl, she is 26, nice, sweet, tender, but clearly with an avoidant personality (can't define if dismissive or fearful) Had a terrible abusive childhood, and her first boyfriend (she runaway at 16 and was 8 years living with first bf) almost same abusive pattern. When I met her she use to say "to be alive or die is the same for me". Very depressed. So,we become fiends, talk lots, a month after started dating, now 3 months. We spend 4 days of the week great, expressing love, then she snaps and want to split up. And become a cycle, 2 weeks Ok, then that. We fix it after those days because I CONTACT her, and I had being reading some posts about dealing with avoidant persons, being nice, available almost to try to "coax" them, but Im grown for this I think. Any ideas? I will really appreciate, I like her a lot, and if anybody asking, I didn't married till now because I gave priority to my job with travelling, but now is time for me to settle down so, I thought maybe with her... :-)