frostybabygurl
Nov 24, 2010, 07:23 PM
Hi there, I don't even know if I've posted this in the correct category or not.
I'm not too sure where to begin. My daughter Samantha is 12 and lives with me fulltime and visits her dad and his girlfriend every other weekend. My daughter has spoken to both myself and a guidance councilor at her school about the way that the children are treated at her fathers house. I have no idea if any action had taken place, however she has just recently (this evening) informed me that the physical abuse is still taking place and from the sounds of it, it is worse than before.
She stated that both her father and his girlfriend hit the girlfriends children (there's 3 of them, T, J and M) on the top of the head with a closed fist using their knuckles and that it makes quite a loud sound and sends the children into a fit of tears. She also stated that they get smacked across their backs, and that when they get spanked they have their pants pulled down and their put across their laps for the spanking.
She also informed me that the babysitter has held down T (the oldest one) and forced Samantha to put soap in his mouth, and that other times, Samantha is told to hold him down while the babysitter puts soap in his mouth. She said that when T refused to clean his room the baby sitter tackled him onto the bed. She stated that on the last camping trip that they took last year that when T's mom tried to put soap in his mouth that he was so reluctant to open his mouth that he bit his tongue/lip so hard that it was bleeding quite bad and that she told him to shut up and stop crying.
She says that both her father and his girlfriend tell them to constantly shut up and stop crying because crying is a form of weakness that only losers show.
She finally admitted that her dad's girlfriend has also hit her before, 2 times across the knuckles/fingers in the summer/early fall.
I am absolutely furious. She says that she hates going to her dads because she feels so helpless and it hurts her to see them physically hurt the children.
She said that she will be seeing her guidance councilor this week and speaking with her about it, as well as speaking with her anger management councilor on this upcoming Friday.
In all honesty I really don't know what to do, I'm tired of hearing these horror stories and nothing being done to stop it. I feel bad for those children even though they aren't mine. My heart breaks for my daughter to grow up seeing the physical abuse which will no doubt have an effect on how she may handle children that she has when she's all grown up. I really hope that someone seriously looks into this. I had known about the girlfriends abusive behavior and had temporarily halted the visitation until he assured me it was no longer happening, now it's not only her doing it but him as well. I have already informed my daughter that she no longer has to go over if she doesn't want to. I really just don't know what to do or what I can do?
Does anyone think I'm overreacting? I feel that this is totally over stepping the line. I did contact Facs, but I don't think that will make a difference, they've been contacted before and apparently my ex and his girlfriend just told them to get the hell out and slammed the door in their faces. My daughter did say that they stopped hitting the children for a short period after the last visit that Facs paid to them, but low and behold we're right back at square one. What should I do? What can I do?
Samantha has informed me that she's torn, she wants to go because she wants to see the kids and she has cousins that she is very close to who live in the area and she wants to see them too, however at the same time she hates the way she feels when she sees the violence and gets told to shut up and stay out of it.
Please don't misunderstand my post, I truly believe that she deserves to have a relationship with her father, however not in that environment with that kind of behavior.
Please help.
I'm not too sure where to begin. My daughter Samantha is 12 and lives with me fulltime and visits her dad and his girlfriend every other weekend. My daughter has spoken to both myself and a guidance councilor at her school about the way that the children are treated at her fathers house. I have no idea if any action had taken place, however she has just recently (this evening) informed me that the physical abuse is still taking place and from the sounds of it, it is worse than before.
She stated that both her father and his girlfriend hit the girlfriends children (there's 3 of them, T, J and M) on the top of the head with a closed fist using their knuckles and that it makes quite a loud sound and sends the children into a fit of tears. She also stated that they get smacked across their backs, and that when they get spanked they have their pants pulled down and their put across their laps for the spanking.
She also informed me that the babysitter has held down T (the oldest one) and forced Samantha to put soap in his mouth, and that other times, Samantha is told to hold him down while the babysitter puts soap in his mouth. She said that when T refused to clean his room the baby sitter tackled him onto the bed. She stated that on the last camping trip that they took last year that when T's mom tried to put soap in his mouth that he was so reluctant to open his mouth that he bit his tongue/lip so hard that it was bleeding quite bad and that she told him to shut up and stop crying.
She says that both her father and his girlfriend tell them to constantly shut up and stop crying because crying is a form of weakness that only losers show.
She finally admitted that her dad's girlfriend has also hit her before, 2 times across the knuckles/fingers in the summer/early fall.
I am absolutely furious. She says that she hates going to her dads because she feels so helpless and it hurts her to see them physically hurt the children.
She said that she will be seeing her guidance councilor this week and speaking with her about it, as well as speaking with her anger management councilor on this upcoming Friday.
In all honesty I really don't know what to do, I'm tired of hearing these horror stories and nothing being done to stop it. I feel bad for those children even though they aren't mine. My heart breaks for my daughter to grow up seeing the physical abuse which will no doubt have an effect on how she may handle children that she has when she's all grown up. I really hope that someone seriously looks into this. I had known about the girlfriends abusive behavior and had temporarily halted the visitation until he assured me it was no longer happening, now it's not only her doing it but him as well. I have already informed my daughter that she no longer has to go over if she doesn't want to. I really just don't know what to do or what I can do?
Does anyone think I'm overreacting? I feel that this is totally over stepping the line. I did contact Facs, but I don't think that will make a difference, they've been contacted before and apparently my ex and his girlfriend just told them to get the hell out and slammed the door in their faces. My daughter did say that they stopped hitting the children for a short period after the last visit that Facs paid to them, but low and behold we're right back at square one. What should I do? What can I do?
Samantha has informed me that she's torn, she wants to go because she wants to see the kids and she has cousins that she is very close to who live in the area and she wants to see them too, however at the same time she hates the way she feels when she sees the violence and gets told to shut up and stay out of it.
Please don't misunderstand my post, I truly believe that she deserves to have a relationship with her father, however not in that environment with that kind of behavior.
Please help.