Ok, I am going to list what I went through over 5 yrs, I will be honest and open

Told what time I could be at hers
Told when I could be at hers
Told when I could stay at hers
Never met any of her friends
Her sons father never knew about me , I always had to wait until he had left when picking his son up
Wasn't allowed to her parents house for the first 4 years
Only ever saw my 2 children 3 times in 5 yrs and when asked why she responded that my daughter looked like my ex
We only ever went on one short break together as a couple
She never wanted days out as a family
She never wanted to out for a drink with me
Very rare we went for meals
She went out with friends more than she did with me
She never visited me or made the effort to come to mine ( only 20 miles apart)
She would make arrangements and then break them
I could have a great evening with her and the next moring she was cold as ice
She would either be full on with calls and texts and then it would all stop or decline
Never wanted to get involved or have time with my family
The sex would just stop and in the end she would only when she was drunk after a night out and when I confronted her about this she said I was being stupid and silly
She lied re meeting a guy 2 yrs back and even though I believe it never got passed txting, she had me lied to face and said it was all in my head even though I had proof and then said it was my fault.
Re the above she stopped txting him but 6 months later she messed up from a pay as you go sim to me and it turns out she got that to stay in touch with him but again she apologised and said how could she make it right.

Now all of the above is a true account of what I experienced and in all that time I was told constantly told I was loved and how I was her soul mate and because I loved her so much I believed her sorrys and words of love and how things would be different.

Nothing changed and I tried to break away but was pulled back with how her life was meaningless now and how she had nothing without me so I went back and said things have to change and for a time they did and then just like that she dropped a text to me saying it was over and she didn't want it anymore and I found out that she went from me to another guy in a day and actually took him to her bed within 5 days..

To say I'm reeling after 5 yrs of giving everything and believing is an understatement and all I got was text and no further contact.. but what I would be interested in is your opionions looking from the outside in.. I have had all the I told you so's and you should have got out and run asap etc etc.. someone said she is narcissist is ?

Can I ask you why you didn't leave this relationship sooner?

Do you have a specific question?

In any case, move on.. find someone you are compatible with!

You sidelined your kids for this woman?

All I can say is good riddance to that lovely, charming demonic woman. Im with Ironhide on this, why didn't you leave sooner?


These days when someone is described as a narcissist (or we hear talk of narcissism) it usually describes someone who displays the symptoms of this personality disorder which include verbal abuse, aggression and defensiveness and a tendency to manipulate and rely on (or ‘use’) others while being charming or ‘playing for the crowd’.

I would be thankful she was out of my life and that I could move on.

Make amends with your children, pronto and then find a woman who will appreciate and respect you for the man you are.

No self respecting person would have put up with that for so long.

I'm sorry to hear you're horrible story.

Ask yourself and you find the answer... do you think her behavior shows love for you? I don't think so... no love, no respect... dont think you are the one to blame, it seems like she only loves herself and uses your love for her well-being, but doesn't give back.

The same effort you give because you love, you should get back when you love. Just like you want to spend every minute of your time with the one you love, she should want to spend all of her time with you.. and so on...

You made some bad choices for 5 years and stayed with a female who didn't make you a high priority, and was a liar and a CHEATER!

She is who she is, but now that she is gone, I hope you give a lot of thought to who you trust your heart to.

You were abused mentally, and emotionally, so please take the time to heal properly from this experience, and get help if you need it.

Much luck!

Following on from what I asked initially, the pain of this and wanting to know why is unbearable, I have been through a breakup before with my wife and fought hard to get back all I lost about myself and learnt what lessons I needed to but now after this 5 year relationship its all happening again, only this time I have not been given any reasons and I put my heart and sole into making the relationship work and any mistakes were not repeated.. So how do I get back from this and have the confidence to ever love again or even try again?

It may seem unbearable now, but if you have been through this before you know what to do already to move on with your life. I think this time you have learned that correcting past mistakes with one partner is no guarantee of things working with the next one. Such is the way of life, unfortunately, but you already know that over time you will be ready to risk your heart yet again when someone interesting comes along. We all do, after we heal properly, get stronger as we get over the past, and get ourselves back together.