I need help in deciding if I should leave my husband or not? We have been having problems for some time now, I would say good 2 years at least. We have been married for a little over 5 years. We have been arguing and fighting very often, it could either be little stuff or something big it doesn't matter. He doesn't want to listen to what I have to say and it always feels like I am wrong and I don't know what I am talking about it in certain situations we are having. In everything we do, if something were to go wrong or is questionable it is always my fault. He feels like just because we are married he doesn't need to tell me about all his whereabouts and his plans. He is chasing his life dream and he will go for it even if our marriage doesn't make it through. He always said if I don't like it I can leave, he is not holding me or begging me to stay. Doesn't that mean he really doesn't care or love me? Every time I want to talk to him he tells me not to bother him because I like to make drama out of everything, but in reality all I want to do is sort things out and tell him how I feel about it all. It is very hard to talk to him not to be the one who ends up at fault, it is very hard for him to acknowledge his mistakes. I am tired of it and I can't handle it anymore, I want to leave at times but I am afraid. I still love him and would love to make it work but it seems like I am trying my best and he is not giving his part of effort into this. Is it time for me to leave?

No one can tell you whether you should leave your husband... but I do think you should talk to him and let him know, point blank, that you're considering leaving. If he says he doesn't care, maybe you should try a trial separation and see how it goes. No one should stay somewhere that they're miserable and no one should have to worry constantly about being loved. Good luck!

Sounds to me like your husband is controlling and possiby verbally abusive. He certainly isn't treating you with the love and respect you deserve.

You say he's chasing his life dream- what about you? Why don't you get out there and chase your life dreams too?

Marriages can't be successful without communication. Try and talk to him and see if he'd attend some counseling sessions. If he's not willing to even try, then seems to me that you have no choice. You deserve to be happy and be treated with respect.

It takes two people, committed 100%, to each other, to make a marriage work.

One partner can't be living a single life, and expect a marriage to work at the same time.

To shut you out, refuse to deal with problems, to be uninterested in your opinions or concerns, and to leave you feeling distanced, unappreciated, and responsible for 100% of the problems, is not a good foundation for success, in any relationship.

Arguing, differences of opinion, anger, etc. are a part of any relationship. I don't know anybody who is in a relationship, who does not go through rough spots, and problems. The problem lies with one party refusing to see, that their lack of commitment to put their spouse first, and do what it takes to resolve any issues, is.

I don't know what his dream is, and how and why or for how long he is fighting so hard to achieve it. Are we talking about a promotion at work, and putting in overtime and free time to complete a big project? Or are we talking about a man who is risking his marriage on something with greater benefit, only for himself, and that what he is doing, has no benefit to the marriage?

Is he otherwise employed, do you have children together, is his behaviour out of the ordinary and is temporary? What was he like before deciding on chasing his dream, and were you onboard at one time, but now you are not?

What has changed, in other words, to leave you both in opposite corners of the boxing ring.

Unfortunately so many people find themselves exactly where you are. The test of time more times than not dissolves many many marriages and I think the problem is not the institution of marriage the problem is so many don't have the capability or desire to be able to love someone else more than themselves to be able to change the very core of oneself for another person. The same many find it easy to say marriage vows and make one of the most sacred of promises on every level spiritual philosophical and so forth with out believing the conviction of our words. If I am to believe that you truly are capable of love and this does seem to be the case than you knew what it meant when you committed your life to this man and for the sake of generations to come I think you must go to the very ends of all your limits and then some more and find a way to get through to this selfish individualistic person who also said at some point that he would dedicate every breath of his life to you. I was fortunate and blessed at a young age to have crossed paths with my wife and I would not change the last 15yrs for anything and when I read your question I felt sick to my stomach because with just little change in content I easily could have been reading my wife's question. Together we have fought threw so much in this life with the hardest fights being mostly my hang ups and personality flaws. I can only pray that someone gives her similar advice to stretch her limits to dig deeper than ever and as so many times before decide to take that leap that huge leap of faith she must take to ultimately turn around and come back to me. Hang in there attack from every angle be tricky smart whatever it takes you will know when enough is enough and isn't there a separation step before divorce? Well separation is a whole different thing than divorce isn't it? What's that saying?……... absence makes the heart grow fonder