I am still very much in love with my ex, even though he left me for another girl. Will I ever get over him? I don't think I can ever love anyone else again. Should I wait to see if he will come back to me? Please help, I am very lonely and confused

You should move on, and let go and live your life. Remember he cheated on you and that shows that he didn't love you. Here is some advice that will help you.

"Love is a strong emotional attachment to someone who we feel is of value to us. Heartbreak is the loss of the emotional interest in us of someone who we are emotionally interested in and who we feel is of value to us. Moving on is the value we have for the previous person going and other things in out lives becoming of greater value than the value we had for our previous partner.
Time :- The pain of loss is greater than anything and consumes our thoughts. As time goes by and other things of value come into our lives then this pain diminishes. Until one day it is no longer there.
Solution: No contact, think of the negative things about the ex partner and then think of your ideal partner, 100% the person of your dreams. Imaging that person there with you. How does it make you feel - It makes you feel happy and therefore it is that person you miss, not your ex ! In other words it is the benefits of a loving emotional relationship that you miss and not the ex partner, it just feels like its the ex because they were the last to provide those benefits. Just as the new partner will do the same. All to often we cocoon ourselves in our feelings without stepping back and seeing the reality of life."

Moving on is your first priority. Cut contact with EVERYTHING that reminds you of the ex. THe last thing you should do is contact them. Use this time to grieve for you loss and heal. Only time can make you feel better. Get into old hobbies you ignored or find new ones, make yourself busy.

As for the feelings of love. I don't think they ever disappear, but with time, they simple have less of an effect on you.

Thanks for the advise, but there is so much more to the whole story that I will not bore you with the details. This guy was a good friend first, and I still do want to remain good friends with him. I love his family, and hate to cut ties with them. I was with him for 3 years, and I truly though he was the one I was going to marry. He didn't actually cheat on me, he just thinks he like another girl more than me. I am ready to settle down, he is not, but it scares me that he will settle down with this other girl. He also has tons of issues, such as self confidence, drugs, money and what not, but he is truly a great guy, and I don't think he ever meant to hurt me like he did. I told him I would wait for him and it has only been a few weeks, blah blah. I just feel like my life is over, I want kids so bad, but I feel like I can never trust anyone again, because I did trust him so much. I just feel so lost and like life is pointless now. I am 25 years years old, most good guys are taken now, and here I sit. I just need someone to talk to and try to get my thought straight.

Takes for the advise, but there is so much more to the whole story that I will not bore you with the details.
To get the answer you deserve, we need the whole story.


such as self confidence, drugs, money and what not, but he is truely a great guy,

A great guy? Drug problems make money problems. I don't know too many druggies who are great guys.

i am still very much in love with my ex, even though he left me for another girl. will i ever get over him? I don't think I can ever love anyone else again. Should I wait to see if he will come back to me? please help, I am very lonely and confused
Of course you are lonely and confused. Everyone here has been through the very same thing so don't feel like it only happened to you. As others have said move on with your life and let time ease the pain. Leave him to do is own thing and you do yours.

Takes for the advise, but there is so much more to the whole story that I will not bore you with the details.

Bore us. Seriously, we can’t evaluate unless we know it all. Don’t make excuses for him or yourself, you realize you need some help and you’ve taken the first step and asked. That alone takes courage as most people don’t even do that. So fill us in on any deleted details.


This guy was a good friend first, and I still do want to remain good friends with him.

I don’t think you should. It’s only going to prolong the pain.


I love his family, and hate to cut ties with them.

That’s an excuse to stay near him.


I was with him for 3 years, and I truely though he was the one I was going to marry. He didn't actually cheat on me, he just thinks he like another girl more than me.

That’s emotional cheating which many times can be worst than the physical cheating.


I am ready to settle down, he is not, but it scares me that he will settle down with this other girl.

But don’t you deserve to be with someone who wants you and not someone else. I think everybody does and I don’t know you but I think you deserve that.


He also has tons of issues, such as self confidence, drugs, money and what not, but he is truely a great guy, and i don't think he ever meant to hurt me like he did.

He may not have but your making excuses for him.


I told him I would wait for him and it has only been a few weeks, blah blah.

You making excuses. Why should you wait for someone who has more issues than you need to deal with. On top of that he’s at the very least interested in someone else. Is he a great guy like you say? Maybe? But he’s got other problems that’s going to take him down and you can’t be dragged down any further with him.


I just feel like my life is over,

I feel like this could be the start or rebirth of your life.


I want kids so bad, but I feel like I can never trust anyone again, because I did trust him so much.

First, are you telling me you would knowingly bring an innocent child into this world and force him/her to deal with this guys emotional problems, there by probably forcing that child to grow up with even deeper emotional issues? Come on. If you really want children as bad as you say you do, give them the greatest possible gift you could and provide them with a real man and a real father.

Second, one man does not represent all men. We see at this site all the time men who are in your situation that would give anything for their woman. I can’t believe you if you told me you couldn’t find a guy like that.


I just feel so lost and like life is pointless now.
I feel like you got a good lesson in what not to do in the future. I feel like you life has meaning and a new understanding. I feel like you life can only get better by getting someone so emotionally weak out of you life.


I am 25 years years old,

That’s it?


most good guys are taken now, and here I sit.

I’m 5 years older than you and I would actually say the crop gets better with age. Older men are more mature, ready to settle down, and know what they want.


I just need someone to talk to and try to get my thought straight.

That’s what were here for. I think when the shock of all this passes you’ll be seeing this in a whole new light. I think you’ll be happy to

Thanks everybody, it feels good to know that people do care. I feel very alone in the world right now, although I know that almost everybody I meet has had their hearts broken. I just feel like I will be in a never ending cycle with this guy. He leaves me, has his fun, then comes back to me. I do see the love he has for me in his eyes. Leaving me this last time to try a relationship with another girl really hurt him. I know that is not the kind of guy he is, he is not a cheater, and did not cheat on me. He just started to have feeling for someone else, so he broke it off with me again. I am so wrapped up in taking care of him, and some tell me that is a sign of co-dependencey. I did seclude myself from the rest of the world when I was with him, but I also see signs now that he aided in that. When I say he has issues with drugs, it is nothing hard core, just marijuana. He convinced me that pot is nothing more than alcohol in a smokeable form. I have totally looked over his "smoking" habits. I don't agree with them, but they really don't affect me and if that is what makes him happy, then so be it.
When he left me this last time, he made me feel like I deserved better than him, but he is all I want. When he is ready to have children, I think he would make a wonderful dad, I have seen him interact with children quite often. Sometimes I even think he wanted me to get pregnant so that he would settle down, I do believe that is the one thing he would turn his life upside down for.
As far as the no contact thing, I usually do not contact him at all, he has been the one to contact me. I still have a computer, TV and other little things at his house that I told him he could keep, not because I didn't want them, but that way I still have hope with him.
I just want him to be happy. When I left his house the last time, he told me a quote from a song by ani difranco: "What kind of paridise am I looking for, I have everything I want and still I want more." I do think he loves me, but is looking for something that is missing inside himself. He is trying to fill a void inside with another girl. I just hope he sees that he has to find his happiness, and nobody can magically take all his pain away. I think I made him happy. I don't know, I again feel like I just bore people. Sorry

He leaves me, has his fun, then comes back to me. I do see the love he has for me in his eyes.

I don't think I need to go any farther than this sentence. He does not have love for you in his eyes!!

The only thing he may love is the fact that you are gullable.

Why in the world would a healthy young woman let a man come back into her life that has cheated on her? It sounds as though he has done this numerous times.

Girl, get real, he does NOT love you. People who love each other do NOT do this.

Let me remind you that maybe you should get tested for STDs. If he has his fun, he could be sharing it with you.

thanks everybody, it feels good to know that people do care. I feel very alone in the world right now, although I know that almost everybody I meet has had their hearts broken. I just feel like I will be in a never ending cycle with this guy.

You are.


He leaves me, has his fun, then comes back to me.

And you justify that. For what purpose I don’t know. Because he sure isn’t going to break the cycle.


I do see the love he has for me in his eyes.

Then get your eyes checked.


Leaving me this last time to try a relationship with another girl really hurt him.

HUH? Leaving you for another girl hurt HIM?! Your making excuses for him. He hasn’t been hurt by anything. The only one hurt is you, and something inside yourself thinks and justifies this abuse. And don’t be fooled. This is abuse. This is worse actually worse than physical abuse because those wounds heal but this emotional abuse continues to stay with you.

What’s worse is you justify it. Leaving you does not hurt him. Leaving you hurts you. But your to afraid to take the ultimate jump and be alone. I’m confident you would meet someone new but if you never did, I would still rather live alone that put up with this.


I know that is not the kind of guy he is,

HUH? What is this some big stage and he’s acting? Yes he is the guy he is. That’s what makes him the guy he is. You can not mold him into the guy you want. You accept someone for who they are and work around their boundaries or move on. This situation has MOVE ON written all over it.


he is not a cheater, and did not cheat on me. He just started to have feeling for someone else, so he broke it off with me again.

Which is called emotional cheating. So he can’t commit his heart to you.


I am so wrapped up in taking care of him, and some tell me that is a sign of co-dependencey.

You’ve got some great friends. You should listen to them.


I did seclude myself from the rest of the world when I was with him, but I also see signs now that he aided in that.

So he help seclude you from the rest of the world and you see love in his eyes? Come on. Your making excuses for him, and for yourself.


When I say he has issues with drugs, it is nothing hard core, just marijuana.

Oh he’s a user, drugs or not, he’s using you. And news flash marijuana can be used and abused.


He convinced me that pot is nothing more than alcohol in a smokeable form.

Oh OK, because alcohol is good for you and nobody gets addicted to that.


I have totally looked over his "smoking" habits. I don't agree with them, but they really don't affect me and if that is what makes him happy, then so be it.

The problem is you look over everything. You don’t agree with him cheating but you over look that too. You don’t agree with him making you go through this cycle but you overlook that too.


When he left me this last time, he made me feel like I deserved better than him,

Well, he and I are in agreement there.


but he is all I want.

I bet he is not at all what you want. I bet what you want is somebody you’ve never given yourself permission to get. I bet you so in love with the idea of being in love that you settled for the first guy that came along and gave you some attention.


When he is ready to have children, I think he would make a wonderful dad, I have seen him interact with children quite often. Sometimes I even think he wanted me to get pregnant so that he would settle down, I do believe that is the one thing he would turn his life upside down for.

Wow. Now I wonder if your on drugs. You need professional counseling. A woman has a biological need to protect and provide for her young. And yet you’ve managed to lie yourself into believing that this guy will do and provide a great home for the children. That didn’t just happen, you have a deep seeded need to be loved and wanted and you’ve overrode what you were given biologically by continually lying to yourself.

How can you ever expect to love your children if you can’t even provide them with a coherent man to be the father? What if you were to have kids and he gets pulled over with pot in the car, while there in the car was well. Are you prepared for the legal battle to get your kids back from the state? Yeah the state can take your kids when your involved in illegal activities. Did he explain that in his little alcohol comparison? There’s more to doing drugs than the drugs, there’s the consequences that follow.


As far as the no contact thing, I usually do not contact him at all, he has been the one to contact me. I still have a computer, TV and other little things at his house that I told him he could keep, not because I didn't want them, but that way I still have hope with him.

Of course, you let him use you. You never quite let go so you can move on.


I just want him to be happy.

How about you? Do you want to be happy? Do you want to have a life free of pain? You want him to be happy but he doesn’t care a thing about you. Doesn’t seem fair.


When I left his house the last time, he told me a quote from a song by ani difranco: "What kind of paridise am I looking for, I have everything I want and still I want more."

So what? That’s really supposed to mean something. Come on your 25 quit acting like your 15.


I do think he loves me, but is looking for something that is missing inside himself. He is trying to fill a void inside with another girl.

What void are you trying to feel by holding out for a guy that will always use you as a back up plan.


I just hope he sees that he has to find his happiness, and nobody can magically take all his pain away.
I hope the same for you.


I think I made him happy. I don't know, I again feel like I just bore people. Sorry

I think that if you felt like you had something to offer and shared it you would find people really like you. I’m not saying to give all of yourself because you have done that here but you have many great traits. You also have a huge disadvantage in that you have a huge need to be loved. But who can fill that void and connect with you if you can’t love yourself and respect yourself. To find you love out there you must first look inward and figure out what it is you

i am still very much in love with my ex, even though he left me for another girl. will i ever get over him? I don't think I can ever love anyone else again. Should I wait to see if he will come back to me? please help, I am very lonely and confused
Its okay to feel hurt and confused. You're only human and from the sounds of it you sound like a very nice person to care so much even after he left you. You invested so much time and emotion in the relationship its hard to let go. Give yourself time to heal. Emotional heart ache is the hardest of all to mend.
Honestly, If he's into drugs, his judgement isn't up to par, nor is it healthy for you to he involved with him. Even if you don't do drugs, it can hurt you in the long run. You're worthy of being happy and loved for yourself Rose. By someone who is sure you're THE ONE as well.
As for keeping in touch with his family and keeping him as a friend, let it go for now. Regardless of who broke up with who, his parents will support him first.
I wouldn't sit around waiting for him to come back. It only puts bad dents in you couch. Instead spend time with your friends, or make new friends. Spend time laughing in a comedy club(a great way to boost those ol' endorphins) and you'll start to feel better. Maybe in time you 2 can be come friends(if you really want to by then). But now you need to put yourself first.

I really don't think you should consider being friends with some one who has done nothing but use and abuse and destroy some ones else's life. This kind of person can never ever be your friend. He should be in jail.