l0st_in_life
Nov 19, 2010, 12:18 AM
My girlfriend that I had been seeing for almost the last year just came at me with "I need a break" towards the end of October and of course after about a week of sensing her pull away I did what the majority of most men would have done and instead of giving her the break she needed I pushed her away with all the texts and emails and unanswered questions the "whys"
Now if I had only come across this site a month ago I probably wouldn't be in this boat that I am in now. At the beginning of October we had found out that we are expecting a child and then 3 weeks later the break . All she told me was that I was smothering her. I have since realized that it was true and I was doing unintentionally because the morning sickness was getting worse and I was concerned but have also realized the damage that I have done. I do know in my heart that I love her and it still hurts to this day not speaking with her and knowing that I drove her away instead of letting her have her space.
I can honestly say I have had no contact with her in the last two weeks. I'm finding that I do miss her on occasion but am trying to focus on me instead of her. She's 21 and loves her family very much. Her parents dislike me for the simple fact that I have been divorced before and continually try to get their daughter to leave me because they believe am going to go back to my ex-wife whom I divorced over 7 years ago.(they've told me this to my face on more than one occasion) I am 29, have 2 beautiful children of my own from my first marriage and don't generally get along with my ex wife (we got married way too young) I realize my ex-gf more than likely will never take me back and have accepted that. In fact I don't think I could take her back either.
After the second week of the break her mother posted on a networking site about meeting my ex-gf's new boyfriend and how much they loved him. Because we were on a break I didn't even think of blocking my ex-gf and her parents which I had been friends with both. When I seen the update I confronted my ex-gf about the comment and then she and her parents blocked me instead. We had been seeing each other since last December and I had some things still left behind at her place The confrontation was a total of 3 texts over 3 days. We are done I would like my things back and I sent this once a day.
When she finally did respond 4 days later the response I received was;" I turned my phone off because i wanted too, there is no new boyfriend and that it was an inside joke with my parents, and i just wanted to disappear for a few day that's why i blocked you on the web." I feel like I have been taken on a ride that I did not want to be on. We had always been open about our thoughts and emotions and then all of that in one day. Like I said I wish I had known about this site before this all happened. We had broken up in the middle of August and she had slept with some random guy at a party one night and then instead of standing up to her back then I took her back anyway. I'm 98 percent sure that I am the father of the child based on the due date given to us from the doctor.(which was recently changed to a later date now than originally thought)
I really don't know what to do because I feel like I'm shirking my responsibilities as a man by not showing her that I truly do want be there for her and our child over the course of the pregnancy and even after our child is born. I feel like I'm abandoning her but how I do also respect her wishes and give her the space she wants. I also feel like I'm losing out with this child by not being able to experience the joys of feeling the child kick at moms tummy or just talking to the child in the womb like I did with my first 2 and had started to with this one. This child was definitely a surprise for both of us however I'm already a parent of 2 wonderful children and can't wait to meet the 3rd. Any thoughts or suggestions? Thanks for taking the time to read this sorry it was so long
-l0st_in_life-
Now if I had only come across this site a month ago I probably wouldn't be in this boat that I am in now. At the beginning of October we had found out that we are expecting a child and then 3 weeks later the break . All she told me was that I was smothering her. I have since realized that it was true and I was doing unintentionally because the morning sickness was getting worse and I was concerned but have also realized the damage that I have done. I do know in my heart that I love her and it still hurts to this day not speaking with her and knowing that I drove her away instead of letting her have her space.
I can honestly say I have had no contact with her in the last two weeks. I'm finding that I do miss her on occasion but am trying to focus on me instead of her. She's 21 and loves her family very much. Her parents dislike me for the simple fact that I have been divorced before and continually try to get their daughter to leave me because they believe am going to go back to my ex-wife whom I divorced over 7 years ago.(they've told me this to my face on more than one occasion) I am 29, have 2 beautiful children of my own from my first marriage and don't generally get along with my ex wife (we got married way too young) I realize my ex-gf more than likely will never take me back and have accepted that. In fact I don't think I could take her back either.
After the second week of the break her mother posted on a networking site about meeting my ex-gf's new boyfriend and how much they loved him. Because we were on a break I didn't even think of blocking my ex-gf and her parents which I had been friends with both. When I seen the update I confronted my ex-gf about the comment and then she and her parents blocked me instead. We had been seeing each other since last December and I had some things still left behind at her place The confrontation was a total of 3 texts over 3 days. We are done I would like my things back and I sent this once a day.
When she finally did respond 4 days later the response I received was;" I turned my phone off because i wanted too, there is no new boyfriend and that it was an inside joke with my parents, and i just wanted to disappear for a few day that's why i blocked you on the web." I feel like I have been taken on a ride that I did not want to be on. We had always been open about our thoughts and emotions and then all of that in one day. Like I said I wish I had known about this site before this all happened. We had broken up in the middle of August and she had slept with some random guy at a party one night and then instead of standing up to her back then I took her back anyway. I'm 98 percent sure that I am the father of the child based on the due date given to us from the doctor.(which was recently changed to a later date now than originally thought)
I really don't know what to do because I feel like I'm shirking my responsibilities as a man by not showing her that I truly do want be there for her and our child over the course of the pregnancy and even after our child is born. I feel like I'm abandoning her but how I do also respect her wishes and give her the space she wants. I also feel like I'm losing out with this child by not being able to experience the joys of feeling the child kick at moms tummy or just talking to the child in the womb like I did with my first 2 and had started to with this one. This child was definitely a surprise for both of us however I'm already a parent of 2 wonderful children and can't wait to meet the 3rd. Any thoughts or suggestions? Thanks for taking the time to read this sorry it was so long
-l0st_in_life-