I met this girl at the end of high school. We went to different colleges and did not really speak the first semester of our freshman year. Second semester we reconnected and sparks started to fly. We were both a little weary of each other. She would get drunk and make out with other guys so I would not open myself up to her. This went on until first semester of our sophomore year when I told her how I really felt about her. We started to date and everything was great. Yeah we would fight but nothing out of the ordinary. Then the summer before junior year we were at a 4 day festival and got into a fight. We stayed away from each other and eventually I left the concert. Turns out she kissed a guy after I left. My friends told me but she made it a point to take me out and tell me about it. She apologized and told me she loved me and wanted to be with me. I really love her so we weren't dating but tried to work things out. For some reason that really bothered me that she did that and eventually I just broke it off feeling like I could never trust her. I thought I could move on and I had a great time partying and being with my friends. She was trying really hard to get me back. I love the girl but I would always see on Facebook that the guy she kissed at the concert would talk to her. I questioned her about it and she said that he meant nothing. I could tell that she was really upset not being with me but I just felt like if I did not date her she would date this guy. Eventually second semester of senior year those two were fb official. I gave up all hope on her and met another girl. I ended up breaking up with the girl because I could not get over my ex. I went all summer long thinking about her yet still trying to find another girl. I broke down and sent her a letter telling her I still love her and that she means the world to me. We started to talk a little bit and we would vent our frustrations about each other. She started to come visit me and we would kiss and cuddle and act like we were dating. She has come the last 4 weekends and we have been having sex. She texts me telling me that she loves me and that all she ever wanted was me and that she was so heart broken when I left. I told her I want to work things out but she says that she does not want to hurt her current boyfriend (I really hate the kid). She says that she never wants to cause someone pain like I caused her. She refuses to tell her boyfriend and or any of her friends that she is talking to me. I told her she already did the damage by cheating on him with me. She says that it does not count as cheating because she was meant to really be with me. I don't get it. I am really in love with this girl. She calls me crying saying she is so confused because she thought I would never come back. I am starting to get down in the dumps. We text all the time and I try to ignore her but I get upset if I do not talk to her. She gets sad and upset when I tell her that I feel like I should move on and try to find another girl. I told her that I feel horrible when I tell her about how sad I am because then she gets just as sad as me. I told her she will get annoyed with telling her that I love her and that she belongs with me. She said "I wont though...", I do not know what to do. Should I just move on with my life? My sister told me if I really loved her that I should try to get her back but keep my options open.

First of all, if she is in a relationship then you must respect that. You can tell her how you feel and hope (which seems pretty likely to me) to pick you over the other guy. Now that is all you can do, do not disrespect her or him (whether you hate him or not) by banging his girlfriend, how would you feel if someone was doing that to you. That in the end, is only going to hurt someone. Plus, she seems like the type of girl that doesn't respect many things so I think you should completely break connection with her (think with the head on top of your shoulders not with the one below the belt!) and move on to try to find something that is worth your time. You are in love, cool, you will eventually fall out of it, it seems impossible right now? Yes, it usually does, but let me share a secret with you, it is NOT! In fact, a lot of people have done it, and probably more than once, concentrate on your school work, and find someone that benefits you in some way, someone that promotes the skills you have to be successful, not someone that brings stress into your life.

Good Luck,

Javi

Oh yeah, and if she doesn't break up with her boyfriend... that means she is playing you!

One last thing... she is NOT your girlfriend! She is your ex-girlfriend!!