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Firstly, thanks to anyone who hellps me or even reads this! :) okay, so, I just started college and 5 weeks ago my girlfriend came to visit me and we stayed together for the first time (not our first time to have sex but first time to stay the night), I thought it was the best weekend of my life and she agreed at the time but during the week following she said it was getting too serious (this after nearly a year and convincing me to be serious months before) and ended it! We talked all that week and she said we'd call it a break instead, that she wasn't sure she wanted it to be over, that she wanted to be part of my life but I said we couldn't be friends, it would be too hard for me, so it was all or nothing! Then she asked me to go out to a nightclub that weekend so that we could talk when I had said I wouldn't because I couldn't watch her with someone else, so she promised she wouldn't do that to me! Well then we talked in the club and I got upset and walked off but later we met again and she said it was okay and we still had hope and we hugged and said we'd talk the next day but later she came over to tell me she had kissed someone else! I told her the next day she should know by now whether she wanted me or not so she said she couldn't say yet so I told her goodbye! I later confessed that I was having suicidal thought (I know nobody in my new city, and have serious family problems and used to be a very closed book until I began to date her and really trusted her with stuff I hadn't told anyone about my life, but now she was gone) and she got very upset! Anyway the next day, after I promised not to do anything, she cut off contact after I got angry about her kissin that guy and her using my password to my Facebook account (which we had trusted each other with months before) so after she stopped texting back I used her code to access her account and change her password (I know this was wrong but I just wanted her to talk)! Anyway her mum then started calling and threatening me and knew nothing of what she had done and had been told a few lies too! Afterwards we both said we were sorry it ended like that and said goodbye! Anyway later that night she sent a message clearly to start a fight (which she later admitted was because she wanted to talk to me because she missed me and figured fighting was better than nothing) anyway for the next couple days we went between fighting (and both of us, admittedly more me, saying really horrible things) and saying goodbye to admitting we still had feeling and back again over and over until I told her it had to stop on the Saturday and didn't text back! That night we met again in the nightclub but I ignored her, only to constantly look at her when she didn't notice because all I wanted was here! Anyway she begged me to talk and we did but I got angry and walked off again but later we ended up kissing and spent the rest of the night like a couple even texting after and acting like bf/gf again! The next day she admitted she loved me but still wasn't sure she could commit! I was upset but wanted her back (all the while being angry about what had happened) and we discussed it all week until finally that Saturday she text saying all she wanted was me and she never wanted to kiss someone else but wanted to be more relaxed than before! I agreed but during the next week she acted as serious as ever and I got confused! Then we met that Saturday and it didn't feel like normal and she smirked when I got sad about that guy again! We kept talking like mormal by text after but she refused to tell her friends we were back on saying that she was ashamed so I ended it while drunk by text! I thought I was happy with it the next day but she was so upset that I realised she actually cared again! By the time I admitted I regretted it though she said I wouldn't work and that she was sorry! I got very upset again and she said we couldn't talk! She later text again saying sorry for being horrible but we couldn't text and I had to accept it was over but we could meet next Saturday (something we had previously arranged because it was a year since my grandad died and I didn't want to be around the house because id be sad)! I asked before if there was any chance we could get back if we were both into it in a few months and she said we could discuss it then! I can't bear the idea of being without her, I feel so empty, and especially don't want her to be with someone else! I hate myself for what I did last Saturday! I have a friend who went trhough the same thing where his ex was with someone else drunkenly days after they broke up but they stayed friends eventually got back and are now as in love as ever and he said what she did in the panic (which she say is why she kissed that guy) doesn't matter! My other friends however say she may as well have cheated and treated me horribly! Basically what I'm asking is if you think it sounds like she'll ever get back with me? And if you think there's any chance point after what we did to each other? Thanks for reading this all by the way :)

Firstly, thanks to anyone who hellps me or even reads this! :) okay, so, I just started college and 5 weeks ago my girlfriend came to visit me and we stayed together for the first time (not our first time to have sex but first time to stay the night), I thought it was the best weekend of my life and she agreed at the time but during the week following she said it was getting too serious (this after nearly a year and convincing me to be serious months before) and ended it! We talked all that week and she said we'd call it a break instead, that she wasn't sure she wanted it to be over, that she wanted to be part of my life but I said we couldn't be friends, it would be too hard for me, so it was all or nothing! Then she asked me to go out to a nightclub that weekend so that we could talk when I had said I wouldn't because I couldn't watch her with someone else, so she promised she wouldn't do that to me! Well then we talked in the club and I got upset and walked off but later we met again and she said it was okay and we still had hope and we hugged and said we'd talk the next day but later she came over to tell me she had kissed someone else! I told her the next day she should know by now whether she wanted me or not so she said she couldn't say yet so I told her goodbye! I later confessed that I was having suicidal thought (I know nobody in my new city, and have serious family problems and used to be a very closed book until I began to date her and really trusted her with stuff I hadn't told anyone about my life, but now she was gone) and she got very upset! Anyway the next day, after I promised not to do anything, she cut off contact after I got angry about her kissin that guy and her using my password to my Facebook account (which we had trusted each other with months before) so after she stopped texting back I used her code to access her account and change her password (I know this was wrong but I just wanted her to talk)! Anyway her mum then started calling and threatening me and knew nothing of what she had done and had been told a few lies too! Afterwards we both said we were sorry it ended like that and said goodbye! Anyway later that night she sent a message clearly to start a fight (which she later admitted was because she wanted to talk to me because she missed me and figured fighting was better than nothing) anyway for the next couple days we went between fighting (and both of us, admittedly more me, saying really horrible things) and saying goodbye to admitting we still had feeling and back again over and over until I told her it had to stop on the Saturday and didn't text back! That night we met again in the nightclub but I ignored her, only to constantly look at her when she didn't notice because all I wanted was here! Anyway she begged me to talk and we did but I got angry and walked off again but later we ended up kissing and spent the rest of the night like a couple even texting after and acting like bf/gf again! The next day she admitted she loved me but still wasn't sure she could commit! I was upset but wanted her back (all the while being angry about what had happened) and we discussed it all week until finally that Saturday she text saying all she wanted was me and she never wanted to kiss someone else but wanted to be more relaxed than before! I agreed but during the next week she acted as serious as ever and I got confused! Then we met that Saturday and it didn't feel like normal and she smirked when I got sad about that guy again! We kept talking like mormal by text after but she refused to tell her friends we were back on saying that she was ashamed so I ended it while drunk by text! I thought I was happy with it the next day but she was so upset that I realised she actually cared again! By the time I admitted I regretted it though she said I wouldn't work and that she was sorry! I got very upset again and she said we couldn't talk! She later text again saying sorry for being horrible but we couldn't text and I had to accept it was over but we could meet next Saturday (something we had previously arranged because it was a year since my grandad died and I didn't want to be around the house because id be sad)! I asked before if there was any chance we could get back if we were both into it in a few months and she said we could discuss it then! I can't bear the idea of being without her, I feel so empty, and especially don't want her to be with someone else! I hate myself for what I did last Saturday! I have a friend who went trhough the same thing where his ex was with someone else drunkenly days after they broke up but they stayed friends eventually got back and are now as in love as ever and he said what she did in the panic (which she say is why she kissed that guy) doesn't matter! My other friends however say she may as well have cheated and treated me horribly! Basically what I'm asking is if you think it sounds like she'll ever get back with me? And if you think there's any chance point after what we did to each other? Thanks for reading this all by the way :)

This might not be what you want to hear, but from someone who just went through a break up I am going to give you my input in what I think you should do regarding your situation. First of all, I think she is playing games with you and you are falling into them, which believe me, in the long run, they will make you go crazy! I think what she is feeling is simple, I think she might want to be with you, but she also wants to go out there and experience other things (guys) but keep you around in case that fails or for whenever she gets bored. So don't put up with her bull, break off from her and find someone who wants to be with you the right way (in a committed relationship). Stop pondering over someone that doesn't deserve your attention. It will hurt, but give it time and you will eventually heal, then you can start by looking for someone new. Also, if you don't cut contact with her, it will prolong you getting over her, which I something you don't want, because you are going to have to go through the separation no matter what. As far as the drunk texting and calling you are going to have to exercise some self control, along with you doing small-time detective work like looking at her Facebook, I would go as far as suggesting you blocking her so that completely NC (No Contact) is doable. Soon, you will meet someone better for you and better as a whole, just give it time and keep your head up.

Good Luck,

Javi

Javi, thanks for commenting, your dead right! Since I posted this she spent a whole night out (as in different from a kiss and walking away, as in enjoy his company too ) with some guy! She knew she had said she was going out and id find out on my grandads anniversary but claims she forget she had told me only a week before! I know we can never try again and she says so too! I gave her back her stuff and spent hours writing a letter to say a very sweet goodbye, like to remember the good times not the bitterness, but she called it bull**** and started fights again like before to not let go every time id stop texting! I miss her an awful lot but by her I mean who she was, not is! The struggle is getting past it, I'm finding it very hard to trust people? Anyway my point is I don't want her now but what if it was a case of temporary insanity and she comes back after other guys bore her? She says she has no interest in dating anyone else, what I mean is do you ever find that people change back? She also says she doesn't want to be friends, but that seems like its too hard for her when at the same time she claims to be completely over me? (I have had girlfriend's but never more than a couple months! ) and id also like to thank you, I know it was a very long question and your response was very detailed, thank you!