I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He has proposed to me and I accepted. He used to say me and my kids meant everything to him and came first. Now it seems his job, being on the ambulance and wanting to be on the fire department comes first. I think me and my kids should come first. What do you think? Strawberrylicious

An Ambulance and wanting to become part of the fire department. That is his job. Are you telling me he does not spend any time with you or the kids? As well just because he goes to a job, or even enjoys doing it. Does not mean that you or the kids are less important.

A job is a responsibility which is a very important. It helps support the family. At the same time you need time with the family. There is a fine balance. I just want to know how much time does he spend with you and the kids.

I always felt that myself, I was willing to lose my job because if my wife or child was sick I would take the time off. Let them fire me at the same time the job is what provides for my wife and child.

An Ambulance and wanting to become part of the fire department. That is his job. Are you telling me he does not spend any time with you or the kids? As well just because he goes to a job, or even enjoys doing it. Does not mean that you or the kids are less important.

A job is a responsibility which is a very important. It helps support the family. At the same time you need time with the family. There is a fine balance. I just want to know how much time does he spend with you and the kids.

I always felt that myself, I was willing to lose my job because if my wife or child was sick I would take the time off. Let them fire me at the same time the job is what provides for my wife and child.
Those are not his jobs! He has a full time job. Those are just extra things he wants to do e sides his full time job. And I don
T mind him belonging to one of them but don't feel he needs to belong to both because of the time he will be away from home since he already has a full time job that he works at least 10 hours a day 5 to 6 days a week!

In that case, he already has a full time job. Yes, His priority I believe should be to you and your kids. I would say for me personally that is way too much time away.

I work and when I am done I come home. I do not want to spend extra time at work or nor do I want to have all the extra activities. Have you already talked to him about the way you feel?

Many men, like here in the county have a full time job and do non paid fire department work. Most the fire departments in rural US do not have paid firemen but have people that leave their jobs or get up in the middle of the night to go fight fires. Of these it is a service to the community, if done right one can balance home life. But he has to know when to turn the beeper off.

I am quit sure you want your man to come home and spend time, happy and fulfilled, rather than a miserable slug in a job he hates. The time he invests now to better his situation will benefit you too in the long run. He sounds like a good hard working guy so let him work. Do you work? Can his job support a growing family ? A house and schools for the kids , clothes cars for work and taking kids to school etc. These are things that will have to be addressed now, and dealt with to provide for yourselves. Better to take the time now than when he gets stuck in the rut years down the road. A couple should talk and come up with a plan to have a smooth running healthy household. It takes two to make marriage work, so now would be a good time to sit down and air your feeling not after you walk the aisle. Even if you have a job will you be making money while on maternity leave and who keeps the baby when you go back to work? Mo money, And just consider lack of money is probably the top reason for divorce. So yeah, if you have a good hard working man let him work. He'll be glad to come home to a loving supportive family and spend plenty of time at the home he works for. Don't destroy his dreams or motivation with insecurity and or demands. Work it out where you both are happy. The last thing he needs is a job he hates a wife he resents and a couple of mouths to feed. Who wants to come home to that?