Hi I was with my ex for 8 months, we were clubbing in different clubs and his friend told him that I was flurting with his other friend so he went off drunk and kissed another girl, we broke up and he found out it wasn't true. I slept with his best friend and I really want him back but he is refusing. I don't no why I done it I really need some advice? X

Beth - sorry to hear about this. Obviously, you know you did wrong. Advice? My best advice to you right now isn't even about how you can get this man back into your life. My advice to you is to figure out where you are at in your life, girl.

Maybe you haven't had love modeled well for you in your life. Shoot, it seems like more and more that is the case in society. I know I haven't seen love and relationships modeled well.

Beth, you have to decide what kind of woman you want to be in your life before you decide what man you are going to be with. All the other stuff out there you can find won't be any good for you if you are messed up inside.

Real love is a commitment between two people. It's not the back and forth between two men or whatever. You see, women aren't very different from men after all. Men front and try to play like they don't really have feelings and they bounce around from women to women. But men like that are just scared... scared to be vulnerable to a woman. And it is scary. Women are the same way. Maybe you got caught up in the moment with your bf's friend and slept with him... I don't know your reasons but deep down if you think about it, you know why.

There are books you can read about Love Addictions that may help you figure out why you are behaving the way you do. You have to start looking at yourself and come to grips with your behavior. Maybe after that, you can find the type of relationship that you really desire in your heart.

Ultimately, you have to come to grips with your Creator, too. I'm not going to preach to you, but you need to think about that, too.

Go easy, girl.

Thank you for that advice, I've come to the stage were I've sorted myself out after not eating, drinking lots etc... I still stay round his house sometimes and he acts like they way we were when we were together and leads me on thinking were going to sort something out then I ring him then next day and he says he can't be with me because I slept with his best friend. I'm still confused what his feelings are about me? How can I show him how sorry I am. And how can I get him back, do I ecnore him and make out my life is great? X

You have issues. I am sorry but you don't know why you slept around with one of your ex's best friends? Come on... Think about what you are doing, then act. Why would he take someone back that tried to dumbly make him feel bad? Have some respect not only for him but also for yourself and go with someone that is willing to put up with that crap. I am kind of proud of him not wanting you back because there is really no reason why to take you back.

Good Luck,

Javi

I'm a little confused with your post.

Were you an 'ex' when you slept with his best friend? Or, were you still with your ex, when you slept with his best friend. And, what does this mean?

"his friend told him that i was flurting with his other friend so he went off drunk and kissed another girl, we broke up and he found out it wasnt true"

That doesn't make any sense. Do you mean that he broke up with you becase he thought you were flirting with his best friend, and so he got drunk, kissed another girl? Then afterwards, he found out it wasn' true that you were flirting with his friend, but you had, in the meanwhile, slept with his best friend?

Why did you sleep with his best friend, and were you actually broken up when you did that? Or were you still together,but slept with the oher guy,out of retaliation for something?

If you could clarify, that would be helpful in answering your question. Thanks.