View Full Version : What does it mean?
Twinks2388
Nov 11, 2010, 04:24 AM
So.. I don't really date I have tended to get into relationships with long time friends and so on. I met this guy who honestly fits everything I'm looking for, gives me butterflies and all the works but when I see him I get SO shy I freeze and say the dumbest things ever. I can't hold much of a conversation because I get so shy and I'm scared he's going to think I'm boring. He's leaving for a month to visit family and I mean I don't know the other day we hung out all day but I was exhausted hopped out of the car after thanking him very much for everything and didn't give him a kiss suddenly texting is reduced (he used to text me by 11am now it's.. whenever.. ) and he's quieter.. I don't know how do I get over all this shyness am I ruining my chances?
BrandonGT
Nov 11, 2010, 05:12 AM
Ok, I'm not sure I quite understand the situation, but here goes:
If he's not a long-time friend (which I'm understanding to be the source of your shyness), your best move might honestly be to kiss him. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but my wife randomly kissed me at a going away party (I was leaving for the army) 6 years ago! I still remember it was soooo awkward, but we dated for 2 years, and now we've been married for almost 4.
So if he's not your friend, just go for it as strong as you can, what do you have to lose?
Good luck!
Twinks2388
Nov 12, 2010, 03:53 PM
Okay, so I met this guy through a girl friend of mine not too long ago. We got to talking and he asked me for my number and right off the bat started asking me to hang out All the time he'd text me all day starting from 10 / 11 am. We started hanging out when my midterms were over and everything was cool. He travels and after he got back from being away for about 4 days texted me saying he missed me and wanted to see me, it was all good. He's supposed to go away for a month to visit his family, the vacation is already set. Problem is I dated a friend of his a while ago, he knew this from the start and said he's fine with it, the guy and I don't talk anymore he has a girlfriend and so on. Anyway, when we hang out I get quiet and shy I can talk but lately he hasn't been saying a lot. When he has some drinks he tells me things like his roommate approves of me, he wants to let me know that you know some girls come up and say hi in the club but it's not like that and he doesn't want to upset me or anything so he wanted to give me a heads up.. all of that. The other day, after a long exhausting weekend of work he took me out to the movies and dinner and I thanked him very much hopped out of the truck but did Not give him a kiss goodbye and suddenly texting started at 4pm not 11am, it's gotten to be less than that and I went to his house to hang out he made dinner and sat us at the kitchen table (which according to his roommate he Never ever does) so that's effort right? And he mentioned that I didn't kiss him goodbye and I apologized I said I was merely exhausted realized the second I got out and was walking to my house and felt too awkward to text and apologize so I thought everything was cool. Instead of getting texts asking hey how are you pretty lady can I see you and so on I get wuttup.. and that's it. I asked him to go to dinner tonight before he leaves in the morning and he tells me he's going to dinner with the buddies and he's unsure if it's only a boys night.. I do get quiet and my intellect goes right down the drain sometimes but it gets worse when he doesn't really talk to me.. he still gives me a kiss out of no where but I don't understand? He goes from always wanting to talk to me to.. wuttup.. way late in the day. Is he not interested or am I just freaked out over nothing? Thanks in advance.
Twinks2388
Nov 15, 2010, 06:39 PM
So this guy I've been seeing texted me 3 or 4 different times a day and would ask me to go to dinner to do Anything in my busy studying schedule to see me. We started hanging out when exams were done, he introduced me to all of his friends, told me his roommate approved, etc. out of no where he texted me once a day with what up not hey babe or anything like that. Just this past Saturday he texted me had a full out conversation and he said night babes. Said when he got back in town the next day we'd see each other. He texted me the second he was off the plane and when I asked if he was coming out he stopped texting for the entire night. This morning I got another what up and he asked what my plans were and if I'd heard about this party happening tonight. I said I hadn't but that we should check it out and he says oh I'm going with the boys. Meanwhile his buddy's girlfriend is going too? Does he still like me or is he trying to just let me go? Thanks for any insight.
Jake2008
Nov 15, 2010, 09:33 PM
Twinks, let him go.
He has had opportunity to build a friendship, and build a relationship. He has chosen not to, and he puts his buddies on his dance card, instead of you. He is not behaving in a way that says he is interested in developing a friendship, let alone something more.
My advice to you is to not be so available when he can fit you into his social life. Don't give into temptation, thinking that 'this time' will have a different result, than all the other times you thought something would come out of meeting up with him.
As long as he only has to throw a few crumbs your way to get you to come running, that is all he is going to do, and it does not speak very highly of his character to use you in that way.
Nor, frankly, does it speak very highly of your own personal standards, to allow yourself to be used.
Try instead to put the bar a little higher, and expect potential boyfriends to meet minimum expectations. That would be communication, following through, being honest, and not brushing you off. One time in backing out is forgiveable. Twice is on purpose.
The next time he gets lonely, send him packing, close the door, and don't look back.
You can do much, much better than the likes of this guy.
Devorameira
Nov 16, 2010, 06:28 AM
You've given him every opportunity and he hasn't taken it.
You'd be wise to throw this fish back in the pond and move on.
Owwg121
Dec 2, 2010, 08:49 PM
I get what your saying, and being a guy, if I met someone like you, (shy) I would try to get you to talk, and if you "froze" and say something "dumb", it wouldn't be weird, if you don't talk much at first, or say something that doesn't quite make sense, no guy would think your boring, you just can't over think what you say other wise you will end up seeming weird. If you just think to yourself that he doesn't care what you say, youl be able to speak more easily to him. And also, it not weird to be spontaneous either. Like, if the girl I was getting to be friends with kissed me, just on the cheek, id want to talk to them more.
I used to have the same problem with girls, but I kind of got over my shyness a bit, (I still am kind of shy) just by honestly being myself.
Good luck with this guy.
Owwg121
Dec 2, 2010, 09:10 PM
You shouldn't freak out about little things like that, because guys, really don't care that much about "not getting a kiss good by" and if this is just one time, saying "whatup", just relax and wait. If most of his texts end up being like that, whynot ask him if everything is all right, its okay to say something like "is somthing rong? you havnt texted me in a while" (and feel free to call him what ever you think of him as) guys don't mind talking about their problems to girls they know, and it might also be he's just been busy or stressed out abit latley.
Hope you sort things out
stinaann
Dec 3, 2010, 12:36 PM
To me, it seems as if he's unsure.
If I were in your situation, I'd just flatout ask him if there is another girl.
He doesn't seem to want to hang out with you, and if he wants to be with you or whatever you two may be, that's not how you need to let it work.
Relationships involve communication, in which you're not getting much of.