So I had told my boyfriend from day 1 that I don't believe in watching things like sex stuff in movies or just guys with their shirts off. My boyfriend however has been looking at girls in skimpy bathing suits in magazines. And he's been watching strippers on his phone on the internet. I have a HUGE problem with it and every time I bring this up to him he says "At least I'm not touching or going to a actual strip club or getting some from someone else." But it still hurts me. It brings down myself esteem and myself confidence cause I'm not like them... and if he only wants me I believe he doesn't need that other stuff cause he has me. When I'm out with him he looks at other girls and that bothers me also! His ex wife and her friend had given him a 3 some and it messed everything up. So I tell him him doing all this will mess everything up with us and he gets mad and shuts me out and don't talk to me. I hate that. What Do I Do About This Situation?? Please help me!
Last thing is yesturday we had went out, we came home... I wanted to go for a walk so he could play his video game. Well we went home so I could get ready and he was on the phone with his mom and his kids so I went in the bathroom to pluck my eyebrows. And when I came out he accused me of texting some guy telling him not to meet up with me cause my boyfriend was going to be there. I would NEVER do anything like that. I love my boyfreind so much. I don't even talk to guys hardly unless they are related to me. I don't look at guys cause I think its wrong to do that when your in a relationship. But he says he trusts me but I can't really believe him cause he's always accusing of something like this. What do I do about this to? PLEASE help me!

I would say you need to get over it, or find a new boyfriend who has the same moral values that you do.

Many men look, does not mean anything or effect you in any way, that is the way men are wired, much more visual, has nothing to do with they way they feel or think about you.

Most likely he is now accusing you, to make you stop bothering him about what he is doing.

OK but doesn't it mean that I'm not pretty enough that he has to look at other girls and not me? Does he fantize about them when he's having sex with me?

Rebecca,

I wouldn't know who he fantasizes about while having sex. But, I can't hardly believe that you never fantasize about someone else while with him, even if it's a good looking actor, etc. Iam no professional counselor,but I would say that's just normal, however I wouldn't think its something that needs NOT be ANNOUNCED to the other person.

I would also assume that is fairly normal to say that both sexs are going to notice others while out. I have notice nice looking gentlemen while out with another guy. Of course once again you don't need to make it obvious, a lot can be taken in a mere glance without turning of the head! But to think that no one is ever NOT going to notice another woman's appearance is just not going to happen. That is were you need to have enough self esteem to NOT feel threatened.

I personally think your boyfriend and you are on two different pages in your relationship. You are wanting to get settled down and let have a happy family, which by the way all of us strive for at one time or another in our lives. However he is no where near these thoughts in his life. He has already been in one marriage and doesn't seem to be wanting to go down that path to soon.

Now him trying to accuse you of cheating is a big sign to me that he has cheated. He is trying to find justificatoin in his actions. He doesn't seem to be really into this relationship as much as you are. I think he also depends on your low esteem to get by with some of the things he does.

Maybe its time to move on. Don't you want someone who really wants to be with you, without continuously having to worry if he is cheating. Good luck

I don't worry if he's cheating. Well I use to but now I don't! I don't think of other people while having sex! I can't concentrate on anything but how good it feels. I think your right aobut me settling down and him not wanting to though. Thanks