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View Full Version : Is dating a man with a baby a good idea?


NothingGold
Nov 10, 2010, 11:20 AM
I am in need of some advice please!
I am started talking to my ex boyfriend from High School again and I have realized that I still very much love him. But we have been apart for 3 years and things are not as simple as just getting back together. The first roadblock is that I live 5 hours away because I am going to college and will not be done for another year and a half. As if a long-distance relationship wouldn't be hard enough there is also the fact that in a few months he will have a baby boy with his ex girlfriend (who absolutely hates me). He is very excited to be a father (and I'm excited for him) but it's something I never thought would happen to me. She will have the baby most of the time but he still wants to be in the baby's life, as he should be. But I am worried about if I could manage having a boyfriend in another town who will have a baby with a women who still wants to be with him. I do not know if, at 21, I am ready to be in this kind of situation. I would love some advice from people who have been in this situation because I am very confused as of what to do. I really do love him and would like to be with him but I'm worried that I won't be able to curb my jealousy or understand the situation that he is in. A life where his ex girlfriend is always going to be in the picture is also something I feel like I may have a problem getting used to.

justcurious55
Nov 10, 2010, 11:27 AM
I'm 21 too. And I don't think I would be able to do it. I feel like at 21, that's a little too much complicated things. You've still got school to focus on, you don't want to invite possible drama with his ex and the stress of a long distance relationship at this point. Maybe keep the friendship going for the time being and if you still feel the same after you graduate and he's still available maybe try pursuing a relationship then.

NothingGold
Nov 10, 2010, 11:49 AM
Thank you! I appreciate you answering. Everything you said makes a lot of sense, but I feel like it's easier said than done. If you love someone how do you just keep it on a friends basis and not cross the line into more than friends? He has said that he can wait for me to be done with school and we have agreed that if we tried this that we would visit every two weeks. I also have a month off for winter break and summer that I can go home. Most days it is easy to accept that he will be a father and that I'll have to put up with the ex because I love him and want to be with him. But there are some days (like today) where it seems like too much work.