How long can a German citizen stay in the United States on a passport? What are the penalties for him/us if he doesn't return on the date of his return ticket? Can my man and I be charged or fined in any way for him living with us, once his 90 days has expired??

Let me give you more details...


A friend of ours (well, he is a mutual friend) he is actually friends with my YM's brother. They met while he was in the Army and stationed in Germany... ANYHOO... he came to visit us three years ago from Germany and we fell in love with him. He's great. He stayed for 2 weeks and returned to Germany. No problem!

However, there is a problem NOW. At the beginning of October, he facebooked me, asking me if he could stay with my man and I while he came to America for another visit. I told him "sure, how long will you be staying" and he replied "how long can I stay"? Which I thought was odd. But I replied, that we could put him up for 2 weeks and then maybe he could stay with his friend in Pennsylvania.

Well, we picked him up from the airport on the 13th of October and he's still here. We asked him what his plans were and he replied that he didn't know but he didn't want to return to Germany. (which I cannot blame him, it sounds like Germany sucks).

Our dilemma is this... he's not going anywhere, anytime soon. He has NO plans. We don't know what his money situation is like. He HAS money, yet he doesn't offer any money to us for groceries, toiletries (which he doesn't have of his own), or anything else for that matter. Well, he DID buy me a new coffee pot, which was very nice of him. Recently, he has started staying up till 2 or 3 in the morning and sleeping till noon or one. I don't know what to do about it. We like him, A LOT. And we don't blame him for wanting to stay in America, but we cannot have a room mate. We like our home to only include our family. If we were up for a room mate, we would allow our own flesh and blood to move in with us... and yes, there are a few that would like to.

Any ideas on how we can help him stay in America? Any ideas on how I can get him out of my house, without sounding like a you know what? I don't want to hurt his feelings or crush his dreams, but I'm out of work right now. Yes, I'm drawing unemployment until I graduate in May, but we are living really tight right now. Actually, I'm appalled that he has the nerve to just come here and stay without regard to our feelings.

Just be honest with him. Tell him that it has been nice visit, but its time for him to go home. Advise him that you are not his actual family, and due to that fact, it is NOT your responsibility to take care of him. Might want to remind him that he is "all grown up" and needs to go home and get a job.

I agree with answerme. You just need to say, "We don't want to be rude but when we said two weeks, we did mean it and we need to ask you to leave. We enjoy your friendship but we don't want a roomate and you cannot establish residency in our home". Then make him leave. Offer to take him to the airport or give him a ride to the next place he plans to stay, but that's the extent of your obligation.

Do not let him continue there because he could establish legal residency simply by being there long enough - in which case you would have to actually legally evict him, which is a pain in the butt.

Don't be too nice - he's put you in a very rude situation, so it's not rude at all for you to be very blunt like, "Hey, time to go...vacation's over!"

And incidentally, things really don't suck in Germany. It's a modern, Western country with a lot of good opportunities and unbelievable social benefits, so he's hardly going to the bowels of hell if he has to go back home.