lcelani
Nov 5, 2010, 11:01 AM
Ok hear it goes... I have been married and divorced and have one child! My marriage has been over for about 10 years now, I was involved in a long term relationship since then and that too ended almost a year ago we lived together but never married. Ok so here is the problem... through the magic of Facebook (haha) I recconnected with an old friend. I have known this man since childhood, in fact dated him in high school. One of those not really sure why it didn't work but always felt connected to that person kind of guys. Anyhow here is the problem, the old friend is married, when I first started talking with him again things were bad in his marriage, and I did the friend thing trying to help I'm through a tough time so on and so on. Eventually they separated and she moved out (with the kids). Ok so soon after we started talking more and of course one thing led to another and we started dating and sleeping together. We had a great time together and it really started to feel like things could work out for us. He said things like why couldn't we have done this 14 years ago, I am really falling for you, what do you see in the future for us? I could see myself coming home to you ever day! FYI we did keep the kids away from all of these and I have met his kids and he has mine but only very briefly and explained that we were just old friends from school. I think I knew the entire three months this was evolving that I was doing something terribly wrong but I felt so connected with him that I kept going. I tried to keep things moving slowly but took cues from him who seemed to be really wanting this as much as I did. Ok to make a long story short he of course told me the other day that he misses his family and needs to try and work things out with his wife. The one thing I was so afraid of happening came true and my world came to a stop. I knew it was coming and yet I still can not get over this. On top of it, I truly get it I had no business getting in the middle of this. He belongs to her, I was going against every moral code that I have ever stood for. He is probably doing the right thing for his family, I hate myself for being so weak and getting in the middle of all of this crap. I do not think she knows about me, nor would I ever cause any drama that would let her find out. My question is how do I stop missing him so dam much! I think he has some resposibilty in this, yet he gets to go back to happily ever after and I am stuck with all the guilt and loneliness. How could I have misread all of the signals, and most of all how can I stop wishing that his reconcilitiaon does not work and that he comes running back to me. I get that it is wrong, I get that I have to let go, I do not even want ot be the type of person that wishes a failed marriage on people I have been there it is awful I just can't stop. I keep hoping the phone will ring and he will say he is so sorry for putting me through this. How sick is that putting ME through this, the guy should be concerned with his wife and children not me. What do I do I feel so guilty and so alone! Please do not judge have been tearing myself up about this enough, I just need advise on how to heal and stop hopeing for others misery. Any advise would be great!