My ex and I have been in love for over 2 years, but could never find a way to get together. We were best friends. We're both twenty now.

Finally, one day we got together. It was wonderful. We both felt like better versions of ourselves. Our friends and family began confirming this feeling, telling us we seemed happier (no one knew of our relationship at this point). I loved him so much and so did he. We began to work towards our future.

We were already living together (I lived with him and his family). We got jobs, saved some money, and we were so excited. We planned on getting our own apartment. We would stay up for hours at a time talking about the future, cuddling close, and professing our deep undying love for another.

On spring break I decided to take him to my family. His mom hated the idea of him coming with me to my family out of state. Ever since our trip was over, she began tearing us apart. Daily she would take him to the side and criticize me behind my back, and tell him lies about me.

He knew better than this, this only made us want to leave quicker. One Tues night we literally couldn't go to sleep. I received a 2,500 check. This meant we could move out sooner. We already chose the apartment, and were going to look at it the next day. He told me how much he loved me, and we fell asleep happy.

Next day, his mom takes him aside again. This time the conversation lasts over an hour. He walks back inside, tells me he needs to talk, breaks it off, and tells me to be out by Monday. Just like that. When I ask why, he only says he's not ready for a relationship. I was destroyed inside.

Not only did I love him more than anything, he was my best friend. It's been a little over two weeks, and since then, we've not lost contact. I began calling him everyday and he answered. I realized that I was making full contact, and decided to not call him. The night I told myself I wouldn't call him, he calls at 11 before he went to bed. Since then, he's been calling me every night.

He calls me before he goes to bed because he's "lonely" and "feels like somethings missing". Our conversations on average last from an hour to an hour and a half. I try to cut the conversations at about 15 min, by saying he should go to sleep so he could wake up early, and he'll say things like, "But there's no one to talk to in my room."

I want nothing more than to get back with him, is there any chance? Now we broke up, I've picked up and moved out of state. I would do anything for this man. I love him so much. I just want him back.

You might want to reconsider this relationship. For one thing, you are NOT number one in this guys life, his MOTHER is. When a mother still holds control over a young mans life, then you either wait for him to grow up enough to finally cut the strings, or learn to play second fiddle for the rest of your life. Oh, and since this particular mother doesn't want her baby boy to be with you, then you better just throw this little fish back until he measures up to be a full grown man that makes his own decisions.

You definitely have one of the more unique break-up situations of AMHD.


You might want to reconsider this relationship. For one thing, you are NOT number one in this guys life, his MOTHER is. . .
Very preceptive.

I have nothing else to add other than meditate on answerme_tender's post.

Thank you so much for helping me out. This has really given me a lot to think about. Its just so hard because we've been side by side for almost six years. He was my best friend.

About his mom. She loved that we were dating at first. I think she was afraid he would move to La with me. Funny thing: After we broke up, she actually got into an argument with him FOR breaking up with me. I think you're right about letting him go.

You want a man that wants to be at your side, building a future together. He wants to sit back wait for everything to be done, when its comfortable then he makes a move. Until then he uses his mother as an excuse for his lazy attitude. You should want more out of a relationship. Someone who wants to actually help with building a relationship,possible family. Don't settle!! Good luck and keep us posted.

I don't understand at all. All of that talking after the break up, and you still don't know what his MOMMY said that ended things?? Unbelievable that you have NOT demanded an explanation. That's so unacceptable, and I think you better think twice about even talking to him.

Doesn't matter about his feelings, all that you should care about is honesty, and commitment, and to be frank, its obvious you have none of those, so look forward, and let his mommy take care of her baby. Then you can get a real man who stands beside you no matter what, or who stands against you.

Comment on talaniman's post

Oh, believe me I have demanded for an explanation. About his mom, he said that she would always tell him that he was a better person before the relationship (untrue he was a mess), and that he had the power to kick me out.

All he told me about why HE broke up with me was that he was not ready for a relationship, and he wanted to be him again. This sounds like his mother speaking.

I totally get what you're saying, and I think you're right. Thanks.

How old is this guy?
He is still very much tied to mama and the only way you're going to have him is to have him under mama's roof. I doubt that is something you want to do.

We're both twenty, and have been very close since we were 15. And no, I want him... not his mom..

First off.. I want to thank everyone who has given input. Once we broke up, I kind of lost everyone. I moved back home (out of state) and left everything behind. My friends, my job, and school. I have to start over now. I didn't really have anyone to talk about this to, and all the input here has really helped me begin to move past this. I understand that I need to use this time to my advantage, and make myself a better person.

It sucks because we really were a great match. We had the same views on life, the same goals, and interests. We also had the same harsh childhood.

I don't even think I should have contact with him, at least for a while until I'm right again. Although it makes me so happy to talk to him again, once we hang up, reality sort of falls back on my shoulders. The more I think about it, the more I realize that its probably for the better. I'll get a job, join the gym, fix myself. Hopefully make a few friends on the way. It'll just be hard till I get there.

It's hard until you get there, but you'll get there.
We are here if you need to vent