konklej
Nov 4, 2010, 11:52 AM
So if you have a spare half hour maybe you'll find the time to read my story and give me your two cents...
I was living in Denver, CO and I was originally from Ann Arbor, MI. I had a great paying job, but after 10 years of college and work I was ready to move back closer to family. So I put in my notice and moved back to Ann Arbor. Within a month of being back I began talking to an old high school classmate. She was beautiful, well spoken, and easy going (so I thought). She now lived in Columbus OH, and she owned her own company doing design work and PR.
As of this point in time I was working for a family business, and searching for a job back in the construction management trade..
I began taking regular trips down to see her, and within a matter of weeks we were head over heels for each other, so I basically moved in with her and her roommate. Things were great for several months, I did notice that she was a bit controlling, but I was okay with that, I was crazy about this girl. As time went on I began to get stir crazy, almost feeling like I was trapped in the place at times. This was the first time in my life that I had been without work since I was 13 (27 now). In addition to me being stir crazy, any time I felt down about my situation, she would turn it back around and tell me about how stressful this is for her, and so on and so fourth. Then she would hold the fact that she was supporting me over my head, when I never once, and I mean that, never once asked her for anything. I felt as if she would put me into situations that she knew that I couldn't afford so she would then have to take care of it, then later use it as a bargaining tool..
All this was going on, then one day I was on her computer, and noticed several emails to her ex boy friend. All of the emails that I ran across showed that she was chasing after him... She would then approach him with business (he was a photographer), and if she didn't get just the right reaction out of him, it would ruin her entire day, she would be in tears, and be talking about how he never cared, and never treated her right. I should also note that we started dating about one month after she ended the 5 year long relationship with him. In addition to the emails, and him always upsetting her whenever she approached him (his reactions were mostly cold) she brought me over to his shop to introduce me to him, mind you this is only a month or so after they broke up. She claimed she was doing so to simply get us to meet and get along, I wanted nothing to do with him.
So her emails continued on with him, and I continually saw them. I tried to explain to her that she needed to simply cut it off clean because whenever she talked to him she would end up in tears. So finally she sent him an email, that simply cut things off in so many words.. Then shortly there after she would be back in contact with him.
I saw all of this unfolding, and confronted her several times. Whenever I did confront her or call her out she would tell me that my anger was getting the best of me. Then I would end up apologizing to her. This went on several times and I finally reached a breaking point. After I had told her multiple times to stop talking to him, and that it made me feel uncomfortable, and it didn't stop I was out. I packed up my things and hit the door, I had gotten close to this before and left for an hour or so, but this time I actually left. So one day passed and she was chasing after me telling me to come back. We had a friends wedding to go to in Florida, and so she talked me into going, stating "it just wouldn't be right without you there." So I was gone for a total of three or four days, and then came back down. We went to Florida, and it seemed as if we sparked again, we weren't very intimate for the month prior to this (1-2 a week), and we at least had a couple moments down in Florida. I asked her while lying in bed if she was faithful while I was gone. She wasn't. She told me that a friend of her's flew in from California, and that she slept with him. I was upset, but she claimed that we were broken up, and that she would never cheat on me. I later found out that she lied about who she slept with, she actually met some random army guy at the bar and ended up bringing him home the day after I left.
So after Florida we were on the couch and I noticed some text messages on her phone. I found out that she had asked three other guys (one being her ex, one being the model guy in CA) if they would come to Florida with her. Both of them couldn't go, so then she asked me.. Remember the whole time she was saying that it just wouldn't be right without me being there. I confronted her with this and she admitted to asking them, but she kept saying, but Matt I chose you in the end..
So our relationship went on, and so did the emails and texts to these other guys.
I kept confronting her, and she would continually lie to me about what she was talking to them about. This caused fights where in the end I would end up walking out. It seemed as many times as I tried to explain to her that her messages back and fourth with her ex made me feel uncomfortable, and I always had to deal with her in tears over this guy, meanwhile where do I fit in?
The lease was running up on the apartment, and so we decided to get our own place. By this time I was working for a landscaping company working 50-60 hours a week. I was way over qualified for the position, but I needed to work. Me getting a job helped our relationship in some aspects. It seemed as if we were fighting less however we continued to be intimate less and less.. When I would ask her about this she claimed it was because she wasn't happy with her career.
Meanwhile she was texting her ex boyfriend at 630 am (right after I would leave) for the first two weeks that we were in our new place. I have no idea what about, but we were 9 months into this relationship at this point in time.
She also claimed a reason that she couldn't be intimate with me was because she was in constant fear that I would leave. I told her I wouldn't, and I didn't no matter how bad the fights got. This went on for a couple of months.
So she was working for this litigator in town who was pretty much her only client at the time. This guy owned his own firm, was married, 50, wealthy, and known to be a womanizer. When she first began working for him she would complain about him sexually harassing her, after all she was beautiful.. These complaints went away after a while, and she began texting back and fourth with this guy. More and more, and at odd times. For example, 7 am on a Saturday, 11 pm at night... I saw all of this happening, although never knew what was going back and fourth. She claimed that he was just bored and wanted someone to talk to. I told her I don't mind if she's talking to him, but I think that 7 am on Saturday or 11pm at night was weird. I said I know what he's trying to do, and once again I told her that this made me feel uncomfortable. I realize that he was her client, but she met with him enough over the course of week to not have to talk to him at these times.
So time passes, she continues to text back and fourth with the guy, no matter what time of day or night, and now she just lies to me about who she's talking to. I once again confronted her, and told her that she treats me like ****, and has no respect for me, I called her a *****. She then says that she felt verbally threaten by me, and I then apologize for bursting out at her..
So around this time were having trouble, and now she is claiming that she's depressed, and she needs to find herself. So her solution was for me to get my own place after we had lived together for a year. So I went out and found a place, moved some stuff in, then never stayed there, unless she was having a "girls night". You see I think that she had told her friends that we had broken up by this point in time, so whenever they were around, I couldn't be. She was a compulsive liar, for example she told everyone that she was an OSU cheerleader, yet no one had ever seen pictures of her. I contacted the alumni association, and they had no record of her being on any of the squads.
I'm on Facebook one day, and I see that she friended Buck the model in California. The day after she friended him, she deleted all the pictures of us together, hugging each other, etc. She left one pic of us up, and it was of us with friends at a parade, we were next to each other.. So I asked her, "why did you take down the pictures of us?" She replied with, I just took down all the terrible photos of ME... Then she told me to lighten up... Mind you she's talking to the litigator at odd times, then she's also talking to a guy in chicago for an hour and a half a week, the guy in California, and her ex... I won't say how I knew this, but I had proof...
I might also add by this point in time, I found a great job, and I was paying for just about everything. She split the electric bill with me a couple of times, but other than that I was paying for everything..
Also by this time we were intimate with each other 2 times in 2 months.. Now she claimed that I wasn't romantic enough, and she didn't feel good about where she was at in her career. Then it was because my anger, then it was because I had left her before...
So her birthday rolls along, she didn't mention wanting anything to me. So I got in touch with her friends and planned a surprise dinner at the melting pot. We were on the couch cuddling and she asked me what I had planned. I said it was a surprise. She said I don't like surprises. So I told her about what I had planned for the night... She broke out in tears and said that I just did what was convenient for me... I immediately said, if this isn't what you want then we can do whatever you want. I said I'll plan a weekend get away for us. She said too little too late.
So I slept on the couch that night, and went to work. I talked to a couple of other girls at work and they said WHAT?? It's like she's punishing you for trying to do something nice.
I went home that day, and said exactly that to her. She blew up. I then started to pack my things... She ran a bath, and before I left she asked if I would come talk to her. I did.
I explained to her that she was being a brat, and that I offered to give her what she wanted and she told me too little too late. I was pissed, and I felt like I was mistreated. I explained this to her.
She never once apologized to me.
After this we began to talk and her solution to fix us, was for me to move into my new place and for us to start over... I said okay. So I spent the night with her, cuddled her...
6 am Saturday morning rolled around, and her phone went off. She glanced at it, grabbed her phone and pillow and got up out of bed. I asked her where she was going. She replied, I've got diarrhea, I don't want to keep you awake.. So instead of going to the bathroom, she goes out to the couch. I had seen that it was the litigator texting her. I confronted her by sending her a text from the bedroom, asking what she was doing (she had been out there texting for about an hour). I then said you've been texting the litigator all morning haven't you? She told me no, I was talking to my girlfriend. I said well then show me. She told me to text her because it was about me. She would never show me... I've asked to see what went back and fourth between all of these different guys and she never once showed me. She had her phone computer etc. all passworded... So knowing that she was lying, I told her I was leaving. I packed up my things and went to my new place.
I sent her a text asking her to admit that she was talking to him, and to apologize for lying to me. If she did that I would have came back. She never did.
Since then she sent me songs that talk about how she can't live without me, but then she told me that she was going on a weekend rendezvous to meet up with some friends in Chicago. I later found out that she was meeting up with the California model, then after that she went and met up with the Chicago guy.
After her trip she returned something's to me that I told her to ship. She insisted that they were too expensive to ship.
She returned my camera to me with three pictures on it, one of which was her with another guy, what was funny is she took the time to delete all the other pictures on the camera... Then she also had a sweetest day gift (sweetest day was the day that I left) that she had planned on giving me. In this gift was a card that talked about how she wanted to marry me, and that our life together was going to me so amazing... She put all this together after I had left.
After I read the card I was a sucker, and I texted her nothing more than I love her..
She then responded to me that she no longer had any feelings for me in so many words...
It's been ripping me apart that I'm no longer with her, but then again there are times where I feel relieved. I feel as if she just kept me around to morally support her, and to help with finances. We were no longer intimate, I would fight for a kiss somedays. So thinking about her with another guy, thinking that she found the one, just kills me. Mind you it's only been about two weeks... What are your thoughts people? Was I right to have left? She has told me so many lies, and I don't know where the truth begins or ends! Help!
I was living in Denver, CO and I was originally from Ann Arbor, MI. I had a great paying job, but after 10 years of college and work I was ready to move back closer to family. So I put in my notice and moved back to Ann Arbor. Within a month of being back I began talking to an old high school classmate. She was beautiful, well spoken, and easy going (so I thought). She now lived in Columbus OH, and she owned her own company doing design work and PR.
As of this point in time I was working for a family business, and searching for a job back in the construction management trade..
I began taking regular trips down to see her, and within a matter of weeks we were head over heels for each other, so I basically moved in with her and her roommate. Things were great for several months, I did notice that she was a bit controlling, but I was okay with that, I was crazy about this girl. As time went on I began to get stir crazy, almost feeling like I was trapped in the place at times. This was the first time in my life that I had been without work since I was 13 (27 now). In addition to me being stir crazy, any time I felt down about my situation, she would turn it back around and tell me about how stressful this is for her, and so on and so fourth. Then she would hold the fact that she was supporting me over my head, when I never once, and I mean that, never once asked her for anything. I felt as if she would put me into situations that she knew that I couldn't afford so she would then have to take care of it, then later use it as a bargaining tool..
All this was going on, then one day I was on her computer, and noticed several emails to her ex boy friend. All of the emails that I ran across showed that she was chasing after him... She would then approach him with business (he was a photographer), and if she didn't get just the right reaction out of him, it would ruin her entire day, she would be in tears, and be talking about how he never cared, and never treated her right. I should also note that we started dating about one month after she ended the 5 year long relationship with him. In addition to the emails, and him always upsetting her whenever she approached him (his reactions were mostly cold) she brought me over to his shop to introduce me to him, mind you this is only a month or so after they broke up. She claimed she was doing so to simply get us to meet and get along, I wanted nothing to do with him.
So her emails continued on with him, and I continually saw them. I tried to explain to her that she needed to simply cut it off clean because whenever she talked to him she would end up in tears. So finally she sent him an email, that simply cut things off in so many words.. Then shortly there after she would be back in contact with him.
I saw all of this unfolding, and confronted her several times. Whenever I did confront her or call her out she would tell me that my anger was getting the best of me. Then I would end up apologizing to her. This went on several times and I finally reached a breaking point. After I had told her multiple times to stop talking to him, and that it made me feel uncomfortable, and it didn't stop I was out. I packed up my things and hit the door, I had gotten close to this before and left for an hour or so, but this time I actually left. So one day passed and she was chasing after me telling me to come back. We had a friends wedding to go to in Florida, and so she talked me into going, stating "it just wouldn't be right without you there." So I was gone for a total of three or four days, and then came back down. We went to Florida, and it seemed as if we sparked again, we weren't very intimate for the month prior to this (1-2 a week), and we at least had a couple moments down in Florida. I asked her while lying in bed if she was faithful while I was gone. She wasn't. She told me that a friend of her's flew in from California, and that she slept with him. I was upset, but she claimed that we were broken up, and that she would never cheat on me. I later found out that she lied about who she slept with, she actually met some random army guy at the bar and ended up bringing him home the day after I left.
So after Florida we were on the couch and I noticed some text messages on her phone. I found out that she had asked three other guys (one being her ex, one being the model guy in CA) if they would come to Florida with her. Both of them couldn't go, so then she asked me.. Remember the whole time she was saying that it just wouldn't be right without me being there. I confronted her with this and she admitted to asking them, but she kept saying, but Matt I chose you in the end..
So our relationship went on, and so did the emails and texts to these other guys.
I kept confronting her, and she would continually lie to me about what she was talking to them about. This caused fights where in the end I would end up walking out. It seemed as many times as I tried to explain to her that her messages back and fourth with her ex made me feel uncomfortable, and I always had to deal with her in tears over this guy, meanwhile where do I fit in?
The lease was running up on the apartment, and so we decided to get our own place. By this time I was working for a landscaping company working 50-60 hours a week. I was way over qualified for the position, but I needed to work. Me getting a job helped our relationship in some aspects. It seemed as if we were fighting less however we continued to be intimate less and less.. When I would ask her about this she claimed it was because she wasn't happy with her career.
Meanwhile she was texting her ex boyfriend at 630 am (right after I would leave) for the first two weeks that we were in our new place. I have no idea what about, but we were 9 months into this relationship at this point in time.
She also claimed a reason that she couldn't be intimate with me was because she was in constant fear that I would leave. I told her I wouldn't, and I didn't no matter how bad the fights got. This went on for a couple of months.
So she was working for this litigator in town who was pretty much her only client at the time. This guy owned his own firm, was married, 50, wealthy, and known to be a womanizer. When she first began working for him she would complain about him sexually harassing her, after all she was beautiful.. These complaints went away after a while, and she began texting back and fourth with this guy. More and more, and at odd times. For example, 7 am on a Saturday, 11 pm at night... I saw all of this happening, although never knew what was going back and fourth. She claimed that he was just bored and wanted someone to talk to. I told her I don't mind if she's talking to him, but I think that 7 am on Saturday or 11pm at night was weird. I said I know what he's trying to do, and once again I told her that this made me feel uncomfortable. I realize that he was her client, but she met with him enough over the course of week to not have to talk to him at these times.
So time passes, she continues to text back and fourth with the guy, no matter what time of day or night, and now she just lies to me about who she's talking to. I once again confronted her, and told her that she treats me like ****, and has no respect for me, I called her a *****. She then says that she felt verbally threaten by me, and I then apologize for bursting out at her..
So around this time were having trouble, and now she is claiming that she's depressed, and she needs to find herself. So her solution was for me to get my own place after we had lived together for a year. So I went out and found a place, moved some stuff in, then never stayed there, unless she was having a "girls night". You see I think that she had told her friends that we had broken up by this point in time, so whenever they were around, I couldn't be. She was a compulsive liar, for example she told everyone that she was an OSU cheerleader, yet no one had ever seen pictures of her. I contacted the alumni association, and they had no record of her being on any of the squads.
I'm on Facebook one day, and I see that she friended Buck the model in California. The day after she friended him, she deleted all the pictures of us together, hugging each other, etc. She left one pic of us up, and it was of us with friends at a parade, we were next to each other.. So I asked her, "why did you take down the pictures of us?" She replied with, I just took down all the terrible photos of ME... Then she told me to lighten up... Mind you she's talking to the litigator at odd times, then she's also talking to a guy in chicago for an hour and a half a week, the guy in California, and her ex... I won't say how I knew this, but I had proof...
I might also add by this point in time, I found a great job, and I was paying for just about everything. She split the electric bill with me a couple of times, but other than that I was paying for everything..
Also by this time we were intimate with each other 2 times in 2 months.. Now she claimed that I wasn't romantic enough, and she didn't feel good about where she was at in her career. Then it was because my anger, then it was because I had left her before...
So her birthday rolls along, she didn't mention wanting anything to me. So I got in touch with her friends and planned a surprise dinner at the melting pot. We were on the couch cuddling and she asked me what I had planned. I said it was a surprise. She said I don't like surprises. So I told her about what I had planned for the night... She broke out in tears and said that I just did what was convenient for me... I immediately said, if this isn't what you want then we can do whatever you want. I said I'll plan a weekend get away for us. She said too little too late.
So I slept on the couch that night, and went to work. I talked to a couple of other girls at work and they said WHAT?? It's like she's punishing you for trying to do something nice.
I went home that day, and said exactly that to her. She blew up. I then started to pack my things... She ran a bath, and before I left she asked if I would come talk to her. I did.
I explained to her that she was being a brat, and that I offered to give her what she wanted and she told me too little too late. I was pissed, and I felt like I was mistreated. I explained this to her.
She never once apologized to me.
After this we began to talk and her solution to fix us, was for me to move into my new place and for us to start over... I said okay. So I spent the night with her, cuddled her...
6 am Saturday morning rolled around, and her phone went off. She glanced at it, grabbed her phone and pillow and got up out of bed. I asked her where she was going. She replied, I've got diarrhea, I don't want to keep you awake.. So instead of going to the bathroom, she goes out to the couch. I had seen that it was the litigator texting her. I confronted her by sending her a text from the bedroom, asking what she was doing (she had been out there texting for about an hour). I then said you've been texting the litigator all morning haven't you? She told me no, I was talking to my girlfriend. I said well then show me. She told me to text her because it was about me. She would never show me... I've asked to see what went back and fourth between all of these different guys and she never once showed me. She had her phone computer etc. all passworded... So knowing that she was lying, I told her I was leaving. I packed up my things and went to my new place.
I sent her a text asking her to admit that she was talking to him, and to apologize for lying to me. If she did that I would have came back. She never did.
Since then she sent me songs that talk about how she can't live without me, but then she told me that she was going on a weekend rendezvous to meet up with some friends in Chicago. I later found out that she was meeting up with the California model, then after that she went and met up with the Chicago guy.
After her trip she returned something's to me that I told her to ship. She insisted that they were too expensive to ship.
She returned my camera to me with three pictures on it, one of which was her with another guy, what was funny is she took the time to delete all the other pictures on the camera... Then she also had a sweetest day gift (sweetest day was the day that I left) that she had planned on giving me. In this gift was a card that talked about how she wanted to marry me, and that our life together was going to me so amazing... She put all this together after I had left.
After I read the card I was a sucker, and I texted her nothing more than I love her..
She then responded to me that she no longer had any feelings for me in so many words...
It's been ripping me apart that I'm no longer with her, but then again there are times where I feel relieved. I feel as if she just kept me around to morally support her, and to help with finances. We were no longer intimate, I would fight for a kiss somedays. So thinking about her with another guy, thinking that she found the one, just kills me. Mind you it's only been about two weeks... What are your thoughts people? Was I right to have left? She has told me so many lies, and I don't know where the truth begins or ends! Help!