I am a cat owner, I have three cats now. Two of them are sisters and are three years old, and the other one is about 5 month old girl( I think). I have had her for about month now and she started her life in the streets of runcorn. I tried to pick her up and she bit me, so we went back to the beginning. She hid behind the settee to begin with and would wee on the settee but she uses her litter tray now and now she sleeps on the settee or her bed. I do believe we have made progress with her but feel we need to move further now. She won't let me stroke her unless she is eating, she will eat out of my hand now and she will play with her toys. I want to introduce her to the other cats and not sure how to go about it, I also don't know whether to try and pick her up again or whether to leave it alone. I bought a feliway plug in which has been plugged in for about ywo weeks now and I have not noticed any difference. Please help x

We have been feeding and caring for two feral sisters who live outdoors and in our garage. We want to bring them into the house for the winter, but have the problem of three in-house cats who will have to accept the ferals somehow.

Here is what we are doing: We have gotten to the point when feeding the ferals that we can pet them while they eat, and recently have been allowing them to come into the enclosed back porch and eat while the three indoor cats watch from behind a screen door. Last night, our friendliest indoor cat was allowed to "visit" and eat with the ferals. That worked out fine. We will carefully and gradually add another cat to be at the feeding place, and finally the third cat will join in until all seem comfortable. This has taken all summer to do, about three months.

In your case, is there a way to keep the cats separate but have a screen door in between, as we did?

I volunteer at a cat shelter where all the cats roam free. This is not a stable population, as new cats are added and other cats leave when they get adopted by families. The hissing happens, but fights are few. The cats seems to like to warn others, but not attack and hurt.

If you can keep your cats separate but able to smell each other and "talk" to each other, that would be ideal, so you can see how they relate to each other. Also, trade blankets or towels with each cat's scent on it, so they learn how each other smells. Accepting each other's smell is a huge part of getting along.

I've been told by dog- and cat-owning friends that this product Natural stress relief for pets - Rescue® Remedy Pet (http://www.rescueremedy.com/pets/) is very helpful for various stressful situations, but I haven't tried it myself. I may want to with my feral cat situation.

Wondergirl gave excellent advice on how to introduce the kitten to your other cats. I don't really have anything to add on that point.

At about 5 months of age, you should be able to tell if the cat is female without having to pick her up. By that age, a male's testicles would have at least started to drop, and would be visible.

As far as getting her to allow you to pick her up, it may never happen. Some cats simply do not like being picked up. If she's allowing contact while eating, then just work up to the point where she lets you pet her without food present.

I have several cats. One of them does NOT like being picked up or held, and isn't a huge fan of being petted. I've had her since birth, so I know it's not being she was ever mistreated, neglected, or feral. It's simply part of her personality.

Ideally, you should be able to get her to the point where you can pick her up, if you need to, without her attacking. Just keep getting her used to being petted. Try to encourage her to sit next to you, and then work to get her to sit on your lap.

You may have to train her to go willingly into a crate, so you can transport her to the vet, and anywhere else you need to go. Just put a little canned food, tuna, or treats in the back of the carrier and wait for her to go in, but don't close her in, yet. Work up to having some sort of signal for her to go in, like tapping the cage or even just opening the door. Once she goes in willingly and has no problem just spending time in it, get her used to having the door closed while she's in it. It'll make vet trips a LOT easier, if you don't have to deal with the added stress of forcing her into the cage.