I've liked this girl for 4 years but I haven't tried to get to know her earlier for several important reasons (one of them is that I was supposed to leave this country forever but in the end I stayed, I didn't want to break her heart like that). SHE IS SHY & DOWN TO EARTH. Now I'm 18/19 and she's 17.

Then when things got settled, I thought I'd give it a chance. There was no way I could go straight up to her and talk... so I did the secret admirer approach. There were a portrait of her, compliment letters, romantic letters, recorded music, poems, etc.. (everything done by me).
Her mom got a bit scared because they didn't know who I am and they thought it might be some kind of "mafia bull**** in order to do a robbery" or something like that. So I didn't get to see her on the last step, because they got like "some gang guys" to stop us or w/e.
Our moms are kind of friends, they're both from USSR, my mom called hers just to explain the situation because they were scared... then her mom wanted the girl herself to talk to my mom. My mom told her (I wasn't at home... ): IF YOU ARE BUSY OR HAVE A BF OR SOMETHING SERIOUS WITH A GUY JUST SAY IT RIGHT NOW SO MY SON STOPS ALL WHAT HE'S DOING!
The girl replied: no no let him call!
Then, she wanted to call me herself, she was VERRRRYYY impressed by the secret admirer approach. We started talking on msn, she's not a PC freak so she's rarely online. She named me names such as "romantic, funny, cute (looks-wise), nice, etc.." she said she was touched by my words and stuff, asked me a couple of questions about "why do i like her" and stuff like that. After like a week she says she has a boyfriend and he's the guy who "stopped" us on the secret admirer last step ^. I ask her if it's SERIOUS, and I get in reply "we're just seeing each other!". She's like "i'd love to date you, you're a good guy but i have this guy i can't date you now or break up with him like that! I'd like to see you but i can't!" I compliment her a bit more, and she keeps taking the compliments, loling with me and so on.
I ask her what does she look for in a guy and get in reply the SAME WORDS SHE TOLD ME EARLIER ABOUT ME: cute, funny, nice, romantic etc..

Time goes by, my mom invites them over to our place. We talk on msn before they come and she's like "you're so gonna be disappointed in me, you'll be sorry you said all these words to me".
The girl comes, acts shy, then she wants to talk in private. She starts talking about her life and stuff and slowly strikes up a conversation about my feelings to her or w/e. I compliment her, explain everything to her, she's happy, I give her a rose in the end, she gives me a kiss on the cheek, they leave.
I found out later on that her mom liked me and wants me to call her daughter, she wants me to talk to her daughter and so on.. like "get to know her". Same about her dad, I make a good impression on both of them, like a REALLY good one.
I record her favorite song on guitar and send it to her via email with some compliments that say that I was supposed to get disappointed right? But it was the total opposite of that.
I get a warm reply in a week because she had no internet, she thanks me for the song a lot, re-thanks me for the rose and says it was very sweet and that I'm very caring/attentive. Asks me about my life, says she had fun last time and it was nice talking/walking with me. Says bye and sends a kiss.
I call her on the next day, she's happy to hear me, she takes my compliments, asks about my life etc...
A week passes, and we spend Sunday together (the girl, me, and our little sisters). We went to this huge mall, the girl likes shopping... she bought some stuff that I paid for, even though she wanted to pay, I didn't accept it and she was VERRRYYY flattered by that, I could read it in her eyes. We went to the movies later on too. I paid 120$ back on that day and 90$ more for food. She was happy, smiling, feeling well. I gave her in the very end a bracelet which has her name engraved on it in Russian (we're both half russian), and a romantic poem as a note that I put in her hand before she entered her house.
I call her in 2 days, she acts happy and normal at first but then she starts that conversation about her boyfriend again... She's like he's my 1st boyfriend ever, I told you I have a boyfriend and it's serious (although she didn't say it earlier... ) and she mentions in the end that she wants to have me as a friend and doesn't want to delete me from her life. She's shy, she says all this in a very polite and slow form.

After talking to her for 1 hour on the phone I realize that she's attached to her boyfriend just because he approached her first. Whenever I asked her "so if i approached you first, i'd have a chance, and now that i didn't do that in order to not break your heart i don't stand a chance because of your bf right ?" she ignored it, she'd just stay silent, like 10 times! Her voice was down and kind of sad.
In the end we decide that we'll be seeing each other once every 2 weeks so that we can get to know each other better, I explain to her that I don't want her to think she's on a date or that she's my girlfriend, I just want to see her, talk to her, get to know her, and then life will show the next part. She's curious about where we can meet up (only me and her), I tell her that I will pick her up from her house and get her back so she doesn't have to worry about that. I wish her a good night and sweet dreams, she replies "thanks for you too" and it ends.

My questionS are: how to understand this situation? Did she "kind of" play me around? What should I do next? Meet up with her as we decided? Or just FORGET about her?

It's hard for me to forget her, she's the girl of my dreams, and I've waited to meet her 4 years. :(
Help me ***! Sorry for my English too!

Your not going to like this, but girls who have boyfriends are off limits. Especially in your case, because she told you that early on. That's when you back away, and avoid the confusion, and not create more for yourself as you have. Now all those years of feelings from a far, and the romantic notions have lead you to a dead in street, of disappointment, and frustration.

Obviously she was just getting to know you in a traditional way, but after all this you are allowed to see her once every two weeks, and that my friend is unacceptable to your own dignity, and self respect. That's why you bow out gracefully, and get through your own feelings, that have held you hostage for so long. That seems to be the main issue to me, is how you cope with your own feelings and what you do about them.

I would definitely be looking to rebuild those parts of my life, that have been neglected because of pursuing her, and exploring better options and opportunities for fun and happiness, that this adventure has caused you to miss, or ignore, from this distraction.

Sorry my friend, you will not get what you want, when or the way you want it. Hope you had plan B in place and ready to go, because now is the time to implement it.

Something tells me tradition, and culture plays a huge role in the way you approach this problem, so know that my advice is totally western in thinking.

First of all our Mother saying"
IF YOU ARE BUSY OR HAVE A BF OR SOMETHING SERIOUS WITH A GUY JUST SAY IT RIGHT NOW SO MY SON STOPS ALL WHAT HE'S DOING!" is absolutely one of the best things I have read in awhile!!
Getting back to the girl, I wouldn't even bother. She had every opportunity to tell you up front that she ALREADY had a boyfriend. Her being shy is absolutely no excuse. You cannot tell me that her own mother couldn't of told your mother that she was already in a relationship with ANOTHER boy.

You wouldn't appreciate some other guy trying to mess around with your girlfriend, so you need to cut your losses and move on. Find a girl who will appreciate all your efforts. Also remember next time that just because someone is shy doesn't mean that they are honest. Even someone who is out spoken, can be honest.

She is not available. Three people in one relationship, doesn't work out. You are pursuing her quite aggressively, with all the secret admirer stuff (which is sweet), and then dropping a lot of money on her in the mall, but nothing you have done has convinced her that she is willing to let go of her boyfriend.

It may very well be that her parents don't like the boyfriend, so are also encouraging you, thus putting pressure on her.

I don't think it is fair to the boyfriend either, that you are working behind his back to pursue his girlfriend. That is not a very gentlemanly or manly way to behave toward another man's girl. Call me old fashioned, but I personally don't think that speaks very highly of you.

Nor is it, in my humble opinion, okay to actively put wedges between her and her boyfriend, by sending music, buying her jewellery, meeting up with her, etc.

Please leave her alone and stop pressuring her. If and when she is no longer otherwise in a relationship with someone else, then, and only then, should you pursue your own relationship with her.

Thanks for the answer, the thing that I liked the most about it is that you understood that it was HER who practically MADE ME DO EVERYTHING I'VE DONE. She had the choice to not talk/see/take presents from me, but she still did it all, so...

She made you do nothing, it was YOUR choice to do all you did, because you were so in love you ignored the obvious. She was off limits. Own up to your own actions, as she nor any one else can make you chose what you do. Blaming other for your lack of making a good decision for yourself is not responsible, or productive.

You could have left her alone at any time you wanted to, but false hope was what kept you chasing. Stop making excuses, and acknowledge your part in what happened, and move beyond it by learning a valuable lesson.

Talaniman Rule - Never ever get to close to a person that has a committed partner in their lives.

Talaniman Rule- leave girls with boyfriends alone, and don't hold your breathe waiting for them to fail.

Talaniman Rule- If one person isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Talaniman Rule- Get your own partner and leave the other peoples partners alone.