Personally sounds like poor grammar on the title.

That's not a thesis statement nor is it grammatical.

Gdog you could have corrected it and then gave them a good one

I don't know what in the world your talking about but sounds good to me

Comment on Wondergirl's post
Gdog you could have corrected it and then gave them a good one

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedback/using-comments-feature-24951.html

Comment on Wondergirl's post
Gdog you could have corrected it and then gave them a good one
There's nothing to correct. The OP didn't even tackle his assignment correctly, and I'm certainly not going teach him about thesis statements or do his homework for him. He, like you, was supposed to learn that (and grammar) in school.