My ex keeps telling me he loves me and wants me back - I don't know what to do? Lisa being Lisa met a guy online 3 weeks ago - we chatted for hours on msn/phone then he asked to meet up. I turned up - he didn't - he apologised later on msn and asked to meet up again - we did and we clicked - had a lovely day together. Then we agreed to meet up again in a few days time - he didn't turn up again. Phoned to apologise - was in bed ill and fell asleep. Again I forgave him and agreed to meet again. He took me to his place, I was somewhat shocked - he lives in a room like a bedsit with 7 other men, he has nothing much to his name, just his bed, PC and a wardrobe - we ended up sleeping together because our friendship had been very tense. It was mindblowing, he actually made love to me and held me for hours afterwards, I felt so loved. A few days later I returned thou I was unsure, my best mate told me not to be so shallow and narrow minded and give him a chance. He is so clever and fascinates me. However, this time I met a couple of the men who lived with him , - one was so stoned the other showed us the green he had brought and promptly told me that the guy I was seeing also regularly smoked it. He denied it. Again we made mindblowing love and he told me he wanted a relationship with me. We agreed to spend the weekend together. Then he went cold - no msn, no text, no phone calls - ignored all my text/phone calls. After a few days I went to his work for an explanation - he said he was glad I had come - that he had doubts about my mental health because I am on anti depressants due to my marriage breakdown. Said he had been burnt in the past by bunny boilers, however, I felt like he had made me into one by ignoring me. I just don't get it? Why introduce me to your home/work/mates and make such wonderful love only to treat me like crap. I have nothing but bad luck with men - I sit and cry most nites at my failed marriage - we were together 18 yrs, childhood sweethearts and he has since moved along way away and left me to bring up the kids on my own whilst he brings up his girlfriends kids. I just skip from one relationship to the other, longing to be loved, why do I have the constant need to have a man? My family are loving but know nothing about this because they would be shocked - mum thinks I go through men like water - but I am just looking for a loving relationship. I am so lonely, confused and hurt, I feel trapped at times and just want to run away and never come back. I can't remember when my head felt clear and I felt settled and happy. I am totally screwed up and don't know how to go about helping myself. Please help me xx

Your problem just jumped right off the screen at me. You are too needy, low self esteem and sleep around too much. Sorry to be blunt, but you are the some of the things a man doesn't want in a woman. You need a life altering epiphany to get you sorted out. By the way, who looks after your kids when you are out all night?

Tick

Lisa, I don't know what your own personal situation is; whether you are an able bodied working person, independently supporting yourself, or whether you are depndent upon some sort of social services to survive day to day. You also do not state your age, which is important in trying to understand what has gone on with you in the past three weeks.

I have no idea what a" bunny boiler" is, or why you are on antidepressants, or when your marriage broke up before you hooked up with your current 'ex', that broke up with you during the past three weeks.

How long have you had clinical depression, and are you currently receiving counselling in addition to the prescription drugs. Do you have children, and do they live with you.

There is much in your post, and your descriptions of where you are at currently, but there is not enough substance to help you with regard to how cognizant you were/are of the choices you have made, in regard to how unhealthy and dangerous they are. Because so much has happened in just a few weeks time, more information would be very helpful.

Thanks.

As a therapist my best advice to you right now is to check yourself into the hospital. Are you bi-polar? All of your intense relationships and spiratic behavior as well as sexual experimenting are clear signs of this. You are at rock bottom. Please for yourself and children seek help. You are not a bad person. Just need help sweetie