For the last 7 years one or both of my step children lived with me and my husband in Kentucky and then West Virginia. He was told by his ex that she "handled" child support - which we understood to mean she terminated the order of support that was initiated in Illinois where she lives. She did not. We never asked his ex to help with ANYTHING financially. We paid for private school, two cars, car insurance, medical costs, clothing, food etc... And now we find out that my husband owes over $30,000 in back child support! We hired an attorney - he's been dealing with Child Support, who says they understand the situation, but because he never terminated the order - it stands as is. The ex, who is in trouble financially at the moment - says he owes the money. It recently went to court and the Judge says - the law is the law - it was his responsibility to terminate the order - he didn't - even though the kids lived with us - he owes his ex the money! He may go to jail if he doesn't pay! First of all - it was his RESONSIBILITY TO BE A GOOD FATHER! He could go to jail over sloppy paperwork?! Second - we don't have $30,000 to pay her! Third - even if we did have the money, they want us to pay her after she all but abandoned her kids to go place house with some loser? If ANYONE out there has any information on how to help. If you've gone through something similar - or know someone who has - please let me know. I can't believe this is right!

For the last 7 years one or both of my step children lived with me and my husband in Kentucky and then West Virginia. He was told by his ex that she "handled" child support - which we understood to mean she terminated the order of support that was initiated in Illinois where she lives. She did not. We never asked his ex to help with ANYTHING financially. We paid for private school, two cars, car insurance, medical costs, clothing, food etc... And now we find out that my husband owes over $30,000 in back child support! We hired an attorney - he's been dealing with Child Support, who says they understand the situation, but because he never terminated the order - it stands as is. The ex, who is in trouble financially at the moment - says he owes the money. It recently went to court and the Judge says - the law is the law - it was his responsibility to terminate the order - he didnt - even though the kids lived with us - he owes his ex the money! He may go to jail if he doesnt pay! First of all - it was his RESONSIBILITY TO BE A GOOD FATHER! He could go to jail over sloppy paperwork?!!! Second - we dont have $30,000 to pay her! Thrid - even if we did have the money, they want us to pay her after she all but abandoned her kids to go place house with some loser?! If ANYONE out there has any information on how to help. If you've gone through something similar - or know someone who has - please let me know. I can't believe this is right!

Although you may not want to hear this, your husband is at least 50% at fault for this. He should have followed up and ensured that the order was reversed and/or terminated, not just assumed that his ex "took care" of it. What is her position on this?

Your husband needs to hire an attorney to try and handle this for him, although I'm not sure how much good it will do at this point. The judge seems to view it the same way - your husband should have ensured it was terminated.

One thing I find extremely hard to believe is that seven years went by with no notification for defaulting on his support obligation. Child support will suspend a driver's license, intercept a tax refund and/or issue a warrant for people who owe less than this amount.

Child support deals with individuals by social security number; if your husband filed a tax return, they would've grabbed it before the ink on the check could even dry. That alone leads me to believe there may be more to this story that you're not sharing.

I TOTALLY agree - he's 100% at fault for not following. But we were both working 10 hour days and taking care of the 4 teenagers. We moved to WV - never received a notice - their mother never had it. He is self employed and pays taxes - no refunds.

Their mother never had our address in WV. I don't know how IL child support didn't find us in WV. He has a drivers license - Passport - receives mail in his name there - kids registered in school, etc... We hired a very good attorney - no luck! HELP!

... We hired an attorney - he's been dealing with Child Support,
...
If ANYONE out there has any information on how to help. If you've gone through something similar - or know someone who has - please let me know. I can't believe this is right!

If you have an attorney working on this chances are he or she will do everything possible to resolve this in your favor.

One thought though: have you sought past-due child support from the ex through the West Virginia and Kentucky child support agencies? If you get an administrative CS order against her, the two support orders might tend to cancel each other out.

Thank you for your response - The kids are now 21 and 20. I'm not sure we can initiate a child support order for payments that far back. It's definitely a thought - I'll give them a call first thing in the morning. It's just awful. The kids feel so bad about all of this too and even though they're adults now - she's STILL putting them in the middle. Sad. If he ends up going to jail it will hurt us - but will destroy these kids. The attorney says he's done everything he can. He's suppose to call us tomorrow with an update.

He needs to brush up on the Bradley Amendment.

Bradley Amendment: Facts, Discussion Forum, and Encyclopedia Article (http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/topics/Bradley_Amendment)

Your attorney will do all they can, but I know from experience, I had my boys move back in with me at one point, I tried to get court dates and support changed, it took me two years to actually get back into court, and I owed support for those two years. The court said, they understood, they said they were sorry, they said I could write a check or set up payments with interest