talkintina
Nov 1, 2010, 01:49 AM
First incident I'll describe happened when I was about 26 yrs old. (I'am 44 now) I have 3 sons and my youngest was still a new born at this time. I had gotten the oldest 2 boys to bed and then I nursed and changed the baby and put him down. And had just stretched out beside him. As he slept with me, and I also had his brothers in room. Single mom you know! My side of the bed met with the window so the window was mere inches away. Anyway just minutes after lying down I suddenly felt (these are the only words I can find to describe the sensation I felt) A humming throughout my entire body... almost like electricity coursing through me... yet not painfully... and I did not experience any fear during this episode... (wanted to clarify that)... and this was accompanied by the inability to move a single part of my body not even my eyes... and yet I felt THE MOST OVERWHELMING NEED/URGE to LOOK AT MY WINDOW!. I can't stress enough HOW BADLY I FELT I NEEDED to look at that window! This seemed to last 4-5 minutes but could've been less. Then it was gone, I looked out the window, yet it being an apt and no outside lights outback I could see nothing. I was not scared!! I was extremely puzzled. I got went to the kitchen smoked a couple cigarettes and tried to find a logical or physical explanation for what I had just experienced. NADA! Then I gave it up went back to bed. This time I stretched out on my stomach and thought to myself "what the hell just happened to me"? I hadsn't been stretched even 5 minutes when it happened again! Exactly as before... with the exact sensations, and such compelling urge to look at the window!! This so puzzled me I made an appt at my Dr.s office the next day and he was a baffled as I was and referred me to a neurologist, who after a battery of test including a MRI, we still had no logical nor medical answer for what I went through. I remained baffled and as I have an above average IQ I continued to try and explain this episode/s... But with 3 little ones to care for and no repeat episodes it eventually got stored to back recesses of my mind. I moved from ar to Kansas within 9-12 months and resided there for 3-4 years. Then I moved to Oklahoma down near Tulsa, where I had went to high school. My youngest was now 6-7 years old when it happened again! Just as before!. My bed actually overlapped my br window this time. And I had just lay down not more than 2-3 minutes when I experienced the same humming, couldn't move and such overwhelming need to look at my window! When it quit as before I got up puzzled went to have a few smokes as my mind churned with questions I had no ready answers for. I lay down again and it did it once more. (ok so by now my mind was grasping for an explanation) and that's where my childhood comes into play! But before I get into that let me tell you that I lived there 2yrs +/- a few months then moved just s of McAlister, where we lived for for a couple of years. And where it happened again 2-times just like it did 1st time in 1991, 2nd time in about 1997, the last time in 2001. (hasn't occurred again) As of yet!
Ok... now on to what happened to me as a child... WHICH I STRESS!. may or may not have any relationship whatsoever to these episodes!. I have about 3 years of memory lost and/or suppressed from age 5 almost 6 until the age 9 almost 10.
I have clear distinct consecutive memories during Kindergarten... I lived with my aunt and uncle during the school year, and after school was out my Dad came to get me... I remember starting 1st grade, went 3 days when the scholl realized I was not living in their district. There were 2 small town right next to each other and somehow it had been overlooked that our address was in the district adjoining theirs... I have no consecutive memories from that point on until 4th grade! I have memories I have placed into that time but not consecutive. We moved a lot but still I should remember school etc, I only remember 1 school and that most likely due to a fall on an icy parking lot walking home, we'd been let out early due to icy weather and whoever it was that had been sent to pick me up waited around the side of the bldng I waited out front 20-30 minutes then headed home... I believe this was the day I broke my tail bone in 3 places (which wasn't discovered until high school but that's another story)... I remember living on the time line in western ks because of going through 2 tornadoes-direct hits I might add... I remember living in or near fayetville cause that's when my dad and step mom split up... and these memories I have placed into that time by reason of deduction since then. On to the 4th grade! (Now you see why they call me talkintina LOL!) I was back at my aunt and uncles in tulsa for the 4th grade at the sme school I attended during kindergarten... Now I am going to describe what I experienced then in words I have came up with to descibe it as an adult!. I never told anyone about this when it was going on... most likely due to the fact I probably lacked the vocabulary then to explain it!. NOW in the beginning this happened EVERY NIGHT within seconds of turning out my bedroom light!. and it was not SCARY!. so much as the fact that I DIDN'T LIKE IT!. I would turn off the light the switch being right above my head... lay my head on my pillow and immediately MY BED WAS SURROUNDED BY OBLONG SHAPES THAT MOVED IN AND OUT AND ACCOMPANIED BY SOUNDS WHOSE VOLUMES ROSE AND FELL IN SYNC WITH THE IN AND OUT MOVEMENTS... The Only way I could make them stop was to turn on the light!. (my aunt and uncle most likely thought I was the proverbial CHILD FIGHTING GOING TO BED)... because I used any and every exscuse I could come up with to turn the light back on... Had to pee... Was thirsty... Had to pee again... and so it went night after night for I don't know how long?. gradually during that school year I learned to just sit up shake my head violently with my eyes squeezed shut... at first I would do this numerous times a night until exhaustion would overcome me and I'd fall asleep... eventually It would only happen 5 out of 7 nights... then 4.. etc... and it began to take fewer times of shutting my eyes and shaking my head to get them to go away... until by the end of 4th grade it would only happen 2-3 times a week an only take me 2-3 times of short quick shakes of my head to stop them!. Gradually it ceased to happen but once in a great while and by the time I was 14-15 years old It no longer happened at all. WHY I tell you this is my grasping to explain what I experienced as an adult... and to explain my memory loss as a child! (Being a victim of sexual abuse as a child) I had henceforth assumed I had blocked out memories most likely related to that self same abuse)... But in trying to explain the later episodes I went through... brought to mind the weird stuff I suffered from as a child and I began to wonder if they could somehow be related!! (OK HERE I MUST TELL YOU that my eldest son is severely disabled)... which is only relevant due to one scenario I came up with that might partially explain both the nightly stuff I went through as a child and the episodes I experienced as an adult... Iooking back on the shapes which would surround my bed at night... I wondered If their occurrence might've been occult related?? As an adult I could see how the shapes could easily be likened to the facial opening in hooded garments such as I believed many occult members wear... and the sounds could've been chanting... and the moving in and out... and the sounds fading and growing in volume... due to ritualistic chanting and dancing around me during some sort of ritual... and that as this began at the end of the 3 year period of memory loss from my childhood... I began to wonder if my memory suppression had less to do with sexual abuse and instead might be due to being victimized by the occult... and this lead me into wondering if what I experienced as an adult could be related to that also?. but why?. heres where my sons as of yet unexplained neurological disease of some kind... (which is the closest doctors have ever come to diagnosing him)... he has never sat up alone only ever was able to mama and dog dog many years ago... tho he's always been a smiley mischievous little man... hes had a very extensive neurological workup.. including nerve, skin, and muscle biopsies, numerous EEG's, MRI's, etc. and every time they thought they had diagnosed him they'd realize he had already outlived that diagnosis... HE WAS 5 THEN... he's 25 now!. I was scared to death as he approached 18, n 21... because I wondered if the adult episodes was something "checking on us" as that "something" might be waiting on him to reach his age of maturity.. before coming after him... I DEALT WITH THESE FEARS WITH PRAYER and many sleepless nights... AND I also began to wonder if it had been ALIEN related and again was I being checked up on?. AND I'VE thought maybe It was an ANGEL outside my window checking on us?. I still don't know... I had to put it in Gods Hands and try to quit worrying about it!. But I still wonder??
Was I a victim of an occult ritual and was that in turn what caused my night time visits around my bed? I have heard when children are used in such a ritual they ore oftentimes drugged. Would this not contribute to the lack of fear when my bed was surrounded? I knew I DIDN'T LIKE THEM! And that I WANTED THEM TO STOP! But I wasn't SCARED!.
SO NOW!! I'am asking your asking for your opinions. What do YOU THINK? And WHY?
Ok... now on to what happened to me as a child... WHICH I STRESS!. may or may not have any relationship whatsoever to these episodes!. I have about 3 years of memory lost and/or suppressed from age 5 almost 6 until the age 9 almost 10.
I have clear distinct consecutive memories during Kindergarten... I lived with my aunt and uncle during the school year, and after school was out my Dad came to get me... I remember starting 1st grade, went 3 days when the scholl realized I was not living in their district. There were 2 small town right next to each other and somehow it had been overlooked that our address was in the district adjoining theirs... I have no consecutive memories from that point on until 4th grade! I have memories I have placed into that time but not consecutive. We moved a lot but still I should remember school etc, I only remember 1 school and that most likely due to a fall on an icy parking lot walking home, we'd been let out early due to icy weather and whoever it was that had been sent to pick me up waited around the side of the bldng I waited out front 20-30 minutes then headed home... I believe this was the day I broke my tail bone in 3 places (which wasn't discovered until high school but that's another story)... I remember living on the time line in western ks because of going through 2 tornadoes-direct hits I might add... I remember living in or near fayetville cause that's when my dad and step mom split up... and these memories I have placed into that time by reason of deduction since then. On to the 4th grade! (Now you see why they call me talkintina LOL!) I was back at my aunt and uncles in tulsa for the 4th grade at the sme school I attended during kindergarten... Now I am going to describe what I experienced then in words I have came up with to descibe it as an adult!. I never told anyone about this when it was going on... most likely due to the fact I probably lacked the vocabulary then to explain it!. NOW in the beginning this happened EVERY NIGHT within seconds of turning out my bedroom light!. and it was not SCARY!. so much as the fact that I DIDN'T LIKE IT!. I would turn off the light the switch being right above my head... lay my head on my pillow and immediately MY BED WAS SURROUNDED BY OBLONG SHAPES THAT MOVED IN AND OUT AND ACCOMPANIED BY SOUNDS WHOSE VOLUMES ROSE AND FELL IN SYNC WITH THE IN AND OUT MOVEMENTS... The Only way I could make them stop was to turn on the light!. (my aunt and uncle most likely thought I was the proverbial CHILD FIGHTING GOING TO BED)... because I used any and every exscuse I could come up with to turn the light back on... Had to pee... Was thirsty... Had to pee again... and so it went night after night for I don't know how long?. gradually during that school year I learned to just sit up shake my head violently with my eyes squeezed shut... at first I would do this numerous times a night until exhaustion would overcome me and I'd fall asleep... eventually It would only happen 5 out of 7 nights... then 4.. etc... and it began to take fewer times of shutting my eyes and shaking my head to get them to go away... until by the end of 4th grade it would only happen 2-3 times a week an only take me 2-3 times of short quick shakes of my head to stop them!. Gradually it ceased to happen but once in a great while and by the time I was 14-15 years old It no longer happened at all. WHY I tell you this is my grasping to explain what I experienced as an adult... and to explain my memory loss as a child! (Being a victim of sexual abuse as a child) I had henceforth assumed I had blocked out memories most likely related to that self same abuse)... But in trying to explain the later episodes I went through... brought to mind the weird stuff I suffered from as a child and I began to wonder if they could somehow be related!! (OK HERE I MUST TELL YOU that my eldest son is severely disabled)... which is only relevant due to one scenario I came up with that might partially explain both the nightly stuff I went through as a child and the episodes I experienced as an adult... Iooking back on the shapes which would surround my bed at night... I wondered If their occurrence might've been occult related?? As an adult I could see how the shapes could easily be likened to the facial opening in hooded garments such as I believed many occult members wear... and the sounds could've been chanting... and the moving in and out... and the sounds fading and growing in volume... due to ritualistic chanting and dancing around me during some sort of ritual... and that as this began at the end of the 3 year period of memory loss from my childhood... I began to wonder if my memory suppression had less to do with sexual abuse and instead might be due to being victimized by the occult... and this lead me into wondering if what I experienced as an adult could be related to that also?. but why?. heres where my sons as of yet unexplained neurological disease of some kind... (which is the closest doctors have ever come to diagnosing him)... he has never sat up alone only ever was able to mama and dog dog many years ago... tho he's always been a smiley mischievous little man... hes had a very extensive neurological workup.. including nerve, skin, and muscle biopsies, numerous EEG's, MRI's, etc. and every time they thought they had diagnosed him they'd realize he had already outlived that diagnosis... HE WAS 5 THEN... he's 25 now!. I was scared to death as he approached 18, n 21... because I wondered if the adult episodes was something "checking on us" as that "something" might be waiting on him to reach his age of maturity.. before coming after him... I DEALT WITH THESE FEARS WITH PRAYER and many sleepless nights... AND I also began to wonder if it had been ALIEN related and again was I being checked up on?. AND I'VE thought maybe It was an ANGEL outside my window checking on us?. I still don't know... I had to put it in Gods Hands and try to quit worrying about it!. But I still wonder??
Was I a victim of an occult ritual and was that in turn what caused my night time visits around my bed? I have heard when children are used in such a ritual they ore oftentimes drugged. Would this not contribute to the lack of fear when my bed was surrounded? I knew I DIDN'T LIKE THEM! And that I WANTED THEM TO STOP! But I wasn't SCARED!.
SO NOW!! I'am asking your asking for your opinions. What do YOU THINK? And WHY?