I feel let down by My Mother. She was great when I was little (lets say 16 and under, I am now 27.) She has been a stay at home Mom since she was in her late 30's, she is now 54. I will tell you about two recent events, and I need to know whether to just GET OVER IT. My son was born 11 months ago. She was part of the birth experience, which lasted 19 hours from 5am till 12 am the following day. Once he was born, she ran out to let everyone know and ended up getting into an altercation with my Father-in-law, (who had lost his wife 2 days prior) she was so upset that she left right after, and never came back to the hospital to visit. The second event is not AS serious to me. But, she said she would come over for the weekend to be here to see my sons first halloween, first she tried to cancel on me all together, but I pushed her to be here. The plan was to come for the Saturday and the Sunday. I phoned to ask her what she wanted me to cook for her on the Saturday, she then said, "Oh I am not coming till Sunday," OK, not sure when she was planning on telling me, She says she's to tierd. Now its Sunday at Noon, and I haven't heard from her.
What is my problem? Should I just get over it? (there have of corse been many other issues, but I don't think that I am over the Birth issue.

Maybe she isn't over the birth issue either, so she needs time and space. But what's more telling is the lack of talking and listening between MOM, and SON, to clear the air and know what the other thinks and feels.

Easy to be confused, or resentful, when you don't understand, and never talk about it, with each other.

Have you talked with her about what happened when your son was born? I know it may seem silly to bring it up so much later, but from this it seems to be the root cause of some resentment your feeling. You need to let her know that she has a grandson who will want to see his grandmother often. Explain to her that it hurt that she walked out on the two of you on only his first day of life. And that it may just be that your sore from that day but it seems as though she has excuses not to come see him or you. Let her know your aware she became upset that day and your sorry but that you hope from now on she can make her grandson a higher priority than her pride.