Hello!

Here's the story, I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years and about 4 months. When we got together in the beginning I had just been dumped by my ex, and was in pretty bad shape. It started as nothing more than what most would call a "rebound" but it turned into something more, and I found myself in another relationship. It was good for a long time, but the past year has been a steep and slippery slope.

So, basically we moved together so she could go to school, (even though I really didn't want to go). I hated it up there and after about 4 months I left, and kept paying the rent so she could live in our apt. The lease ended and now she's living with this girl she goes to school with, and said girls parents. They don't allow boys in the house and their 24 year old daughter is a virgin... and is starting to have an affect on my girlfriend, awesome!

I drive up there almost every other week 6 hours one way to see her. I get maybe 3 hours of her time a day between work and school, and then I can't sleep in her bed, and I either sleep in my car, or crash on my friends floor. She can't come and see me because she has one day off a week and "can't afford gas".

I've honestly been trying to make her life easier. I maintain her car and pay her insurance, I try go get her new clothes and stuff that she needs because honestly... she's broke, but that has nothing to do with our problems.

So it's been this way for like... almost 5 months and I guess what I'm getting at is... I'm so unhappy and far from satisfied that it's starting to really effect my life and happiness. I get nothing from her. She doesn't dress up when we go out, she doesn't make any time for us in her retarded schedule, she really just doesn't have the time at all for a relationship. I've tried to tell her this, and how she could make it better... and she thought I wanted her to spend more money on me. I tried to faux break up with her to snap her *** into shape and it didn't work at all, fml! I want to support her, but it feels so one sided I'm losing hope.

It's to the point where I'm not even attracted to her anymore, and she doesn't seem to understand!

Am I wrong? I've never broken up with someone and I'm unsure if I'm justified... what do I say to her? I'm tired of trying to make her understand how I feel and getting nothing... The more I dwell on it the less and less appealing the entire situation becomes, I'm being held back.

*** am I doing!

Ps. Thanks for reading.

You are unhappy, that is 'justification' for a break up.

Her life seems complicated and she seems focused on trying to survive and get through school. You should not be her top priority at this time and you shouldn't want to be.

While you are supporting her situation, you do not feel supported by her. If you do not want to continue the relationship, then tell her so and tell her why. Breaking up is not a 'game' to play to get her attention. If you are intent on ending the situation, do so. Do not end the situation to try to become more important in her life.

I agree with Justwantfair advice. Don't use the " I want to break up" for attention. If you are unhappy in this relationship then you need no other justification to end it. You seem to be at different stages of in your lives right now.

This thing has been over since you left, but she was dependent, and still is, and you were just holding on to this rebound relationship, and threw long distance in the mix. That made you as dependent as she was. She financially, you emotionally.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/breaking-up-stupid-reasons-good-terms-204346.html,

That you can't end it, is a matter of honesty, and nothing else. You are not happy and can't tell her, and then do it through cutting all contact, and dealing with the fallout that a break up creates. Tell her its best to move on and then disappear from her life and get your own together.

Just do it!!! Make a decision and stick to it!!!!

Man, you are wayyyy over justified to break up with her. Since the moment you were unhappy you had the right, and probably even the encouragement from the people in this community to break up with her. Find someone else, someone who appreciated EVERYTHING that you are doing to them. Sounds like you care for this girl, but instead of being her boyfriend, you are being her father. Let her fend for herself and become independent because although you are trying to help her, you are actually just hurting her in the long run. Let her grow up and you go your separate way, invest your time and money in something that is worth your time, not on something that is making you so dam unhappy.

Good Luck,

Javi

Thank you everybody. I broke up with her this morning and I feel like my life has changed! I love this website.

Cheers <3

That's very good news, and I think you were leaning that way, anyway. Enjoy your newfound freedom.